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futuremrsrichardson
Devoted October 2018

Everything is falling apart

futuremrsrichardson, on May 20, 2018 at 8:19 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 23
I don’t even know how to put this into words. I recently wrote on here about my relationship with my fiancé’s morher. It’s been challenging to say the least. She doesn’t want any of his family to be at the wedding. Now his groomsmen are siding with his mom and have all decided to not be in the wedding or likely even come to the wedding. I don’t know where to go from here, I don’t even know how to process all. I am just feeling so low, maybe we should just call off the whole wedding.

23 Comments

Latest activity by Staurt, on January 24, 2021 at 2:37 PM
  • A
    Devoted May 2018
    Anna ·
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    Breathe. tell your fh he needs to be firm in speaking with her. it’s not her place to tell you who to invite -what you should/shouldn’t be paying for. if the groomsmen are agreeing with his mom- your fh should be asking why- why or how do they even know what his moms opinion is unless they’re family or been vented to? i’ve had difficulty with my fmil telling me who should be invited to showers, wedding etc & i have just said No. She tried telling my fh & he said no- so there’s no explaining blah blah blah -it’s just a firm no. if your fh isn’t being firm that may be a real issue. other than that, the people that are meant to be there will be & at the end of the day- you just need you both, an officiant & 2 witnesses.
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  • Kim
    Savvy August 2018
    Kim ·
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    Oh I’m so sorry Smiley sad questions: when is your wedding? Are you able to talk to them/her? Why doesn’t she want their family at the wedding? Does she not support your relationship? How long have you been together?
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    Our wedding is October 12. Yes we are working on trying to talk to everyone. She doesn’t want their family at the wedding because she does not support our relationship. We have been together for over 3 years. I have tried to reason with her, answer & meet any concern she has even had etc. I recently wrote her a long email trying to make amends with no response.
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  • Kim
    Savvy August 2018
    Kim ·
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    Awe :/ Well you have some time still to maybe talk with everyone. I maybe would have your FH say something to her and his groomsman. They are there to support you and him she should have no pull on them. But shame on them and her if they are now trying to pull back from the wedding. When I get stressed with my wedding things I just want to give up and elope. :/
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    Not sure how a person who doesn't support your relationship gets a say in who gets invited or attends the wedding. But if his friends don't support you guys that to me is much more reason for concern and I would pause or reevaluate your relationship. My friends with marriages that have ended in divorce all did not have the full support of their friends, or the bride/groom was not liked, I think it is telling. Sorry.
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    We never had this issue until about six months ago when his friends weren’t seeing the full picture. I think they believe his stress is coming from me and not his parents but that’s not the truth. It’s all just a bad misunderstandingSmiley sad
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    Yeah that’s how I feel too. I’ve just done so much planning at this point with the full support of my family and friends that I would hate to just give up.
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  • Sara P.
    VIP October 2018
    Sara P. ·
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    Do the groomsmen support your relationship? Why are they siding with his Mom? What is his mom's reason for not supporting your relationship? Regardless of any of that though, she shouldn't dictate who gets invited unless she's paying which I'm assuming she's not since she doesn't support the marriage.
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  • E
    Super June 2018
    Erica ·
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    Sit down with your FH and tell him exactly how you feel and ask him the same and really listen. If you decide together what's best than go for it. It's ok to get married with just people who love you!
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    They did before like 2 months ago so I am not sure what is going on! We have always been super close- gone on trips together, spent birthdays & holidays together. I think in the last few months my fiancé has been very stressed with his mom and they think it’s me causing him to be stressed & unhappy so now they are backing out. His groomsmen have all been his friend since childhood so I guess they just know his mom better than me and feel like maybe what she is thinking is right? Idk I just feel horrible & so low.
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    His friends also haven’t taken the time to ask what is going on or how he is feeling. I get they are guys but still.
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  • Sara P.
    VIP October 2018
    Sara P. ·
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    In my opinion, you're letting too m outsiders in to your relationship. Have a discussion with just your FH about how you both feel.
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    How old is everyone here? I can’t imagine someone in my wedding siding with my mother unless they were young.

    Are these people truly grownups?

    Honestly OP, I would elope so she can no longer ruin the vibe. No way would she be invited to my wedding, but I know that’s easier said than done.
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    27+ but they are acting like children! Yeah not inviting isn’t really an option.
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    😩 - not what I was expecting to see.

    With all of that said. Take the money, go on a nice trip and get married there. Don’t spend money on these people when they don’t support you, that’s crazy. They may all come around one day but don’t spend time trying to prove yourself to them.
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    I guess I am just an outsider. I am not from this area- I moved here for my job 6 years ago and I don’t have family here only friends. I am trying not to prove myself to anyone but all I have felt like is that I’m not enough. Maybe you are right- we just need to do something for us for once and leave everyone else out of it.
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  • Destinee
    Beginner September 2019
    Destinee ·
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    I think next weekend you and your FH so go on a mini weekend vacation. No wedding planning no wedding talk!! Just tine to destress and enjoy one another for a few days. While on vacation just have a open and honest conversation with your FH. You address you concerns and allow him to address yours. This is YOUR wedding! If people are backing out let them, that’s less money you have to spend per plate. The people who truly love and value your relationship will show up. I’m off October 12 my finance and I will gladly come and support your union. Trying to please everyone will make you sick! As long as you and your FH Are on the same accord noithing ekes matters.
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  • futuremrsrichardson
    Devoted October 2018
    futuremrsrichardson ·
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    Thank you so much. This was seriously such a sweet message, honestly more than I could ask for. Appreciate your advice and understanding!
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  • J
    Super June 2019
    JuneBride ·
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    Why doesn't your fiance talk to his groomsmen and explain what's really going on? If I was in that situation I would take an honest look at my relationship with my fiance. Even if our relationship is good and healthy would I really want to continue dealing with his mother? After that if I still wanted to marry him I would go away somewhere to get married. Take that money and go to Bahamas. Get married on a pink sand beach. Just us two or with whoever wanted to come with us.
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  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
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    Agreed, id elope at this point and not let anyone have the opportunity to add any more strain to you relationship
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