Events for Out of Town Guests

We are inviting all the out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner. But it's going to be simple. We are having it at my parents house (which is huge and there is a full pub in the basement) and ordering food from a local Chicago-only restaurant (Portillo's) which will be under $300 to feed everyone. Rehearsal dinners can be extravagant or simple. I know brides that are doing pot-luck, BBQ or ordering pizza and having beer.

Historically the groom's parents are to pay for the dinner. Your guests typically are not expecting to pay (except maybe for their own drinks). If you plan ahead, have room in your place, or have a family member willing to host it in their house, you can start buying liquor early (the hard stuff doesn't go bad) when things go on sale and have enough stock for everyone, then order pizza or carryout from one of your favorite local restaurants. =)

We are 80% out of state guests. We are also having a post-wedding or farewell brunch....but we are not paying. Just inviting our guests to come hang out with us, if they would like, for a little while one last time before they start heading back home. =)

Jen, how did you word that invite? We're trying to figure out how to say "come join us" but not "come to this party we're hosting."

We also invited all our OOT guests to our RD, and I agree with Jen, make it simple. Our OOT guests were really grateful, and I think part of it is that it was a get-together, and they didn't have to think about one meal. We asked everyone to join us for brunch the day after but we didn't host that.

However, there will be only so much time you will be able to spend with them before the wedding. You will be very busy in those days. So perhaps plan sightseeing that they can do on their own, if they choose to.

You're having my kind of wedding :-) We also had about 10 out of country guests and another 20 OOT :-)

I wanted to invite OOT guests to our RD, but my MIL was against it and said no...and since she was paying for it...I couldn't fight her on it. So instead, I had an OOT happy hour before our RD at a nice restaurant down the street from where our ceremony/reception was. It was a lot of fun and I was happy we were able to mingle with our OOT guests in a more relaxed environment.

It is up to whoever is hosting who will be on the guest list and who will not. If you are hosting, and want to have them there, then find a cheaper alternative. There were a lot of good suggestions from the other brides.

As for the sightseeing and other things-you will be very busy. I would say, give them a list of things to see and do in your area. They can go out in groups themselves. Most of my OOT guests are family or have family in the area, and they all grew up here, so they know what there is to see and do and it will be kind of like a big family reunion where someone just happens to get married!

Thanks ladies!

It's the opposite situation for us. We live in Boston and a lot of our friends are here but most of our family and a lot of our friends will be coming from all over. We're getting married in Salem and there's so much to do and see there and most of our guests will not have ever been there before so we're getting married over a long weekend and hoping that they'll take the opportunity.

Also, we're paying for everything so we get to decide who is invited to all of the events (as long as our bank accounts allow for it).

We have some OOT guests as well and are inviting them to the RD. FH is doing a round of golf with the OOT guests who want to join and I have invited the OOT ladies to join me and the bridesmaids and mothers for mani/pedis.

Are you making OOT bags for them? If so, you can include brochures, info on tours, sightseeing, etc.

@Tatyana We're not sending an "official" invitation to the brunch. But we are giving everyone an itinerary with all events on it and it's listed as "optional" and "non-hosted." I figured we'd mention something at the reception as well, cuz I'm sure there are folks that won't read that damn itinerary, even tho I worked on it for hours!!!! =P

To piggy back on the last few posts, itineraries or a suggested list of sights for your guests are always a great idea. You could like things like "a few of our favorite restaurants," "a few of our favorite haunts", etc and also include a timeline/map indicating where the bride and groom will be throughout the weekend. They can choose to join you or go off and enjoy Salem based on your list of suggestions! Good luck to you!