Etiquette regarding guests’ stepchildren

IMO, all of the step-children should have been invited.

^^That's my thought, too!

I agree all of them should be invited

I think all should have been invited, even if it was to keep the peace between families. If the step-siblings were minors and the non-step children were invited, it can be hurtful even if it wasn't intentional. I think if these were all adults, at least the adults could have the option of not attending, especially if they didn't have a relationship with the couple getting married.

#3 happened to me - I was the step-child who was not invited while my other brothers were invited. I personally did not care because I never spent time with these people and my brothers did, but my mom was PISSED. Like 5 years later still livid if it comes up. I wish they would have just invited me so I didn't have to still hear my mom talk about it :/

If the aunt is not married, then he is not a step son.

OP I saved myself all of this grief by writing "The ____ Family" for all of my first cousins. It is worth it to keep the peace to invite all of these kids and easiest to let them come under the family umbrella instead of stressing about listing them out.

I would invite all of the step-children. If they're in the same circle as other invitees, then they get invited too.

I would say in most cases invite as you would non-step of the same level.

I think the exception might be when say it's a stepchild that does not come to family functions and is rarely at the relatives house. But I don't have a lot of experience with step families and I tend to be on the family is who you choose to be with whether it's whole, half, or step.

ETA: I could see this being more an issue in non-relative cases. For example, if Mr and Mrs Smith are invited as family friends and Mr. Smith has a 16 year old son from a previous who he does not have primary custody of and the person inviting has not real known...I think it gets more complicated and really depends on the specific nature of that family and the relationship.

It really depends on how close they are to the family. My cousin is not married but has been with his girlfriend for years, and she has 2 kids. I've only met the kids 2 or 3 times. They don't ever talk to anyone, and they are both over 18. That particular cousin barely made the list, so his "stepkids" don't. However, if the family knows them and they come to events and their parents are being invited, they should definitely be invited as well. It all depends on the context.