Etiquette on people who got a bf/gf after Stds?

To me, significant others should never be optional and should always be invited.

Yes you need to invite significant others.

It shouldn’t matter if they don’t when save the dates go out, if they have a significant other when invites go out then they both need to be invited. When we sent save the dates we made sure we had room if everyone got in a relationship by the time of our wedding.

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Yeah I accounted for two spots for my friends so I guess those two are filled now by the two people!

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Exactly this

Anyone who is dating someone at the time invites go out should have their significant other invited.

Hard stop.

What about people who inform you that started "seeing" someone after the invites went out and you've only accounted for them? We haven't seen this person often and when FH saw him a couple months ago, he was single as a pringle. I am hard stop no-ing on that one, but would like to get others opinions as well.

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I'd probably accommodate unless we're talking like a week before the wedding.

People differ. I think spouses and fiancees MUST be invited. So if someone got engaged last week they get an invite. Others say long time or live in relationships. I don't think the flavor of the week must get an invite.

View Quoted Comment I could agree with this. I was pretty sure about the before invites go out thing to accommodate. I’m not accommodating after the fact unless I’m feeling generous and people decline. But I’m also not about having strangers at my wedding and that was mine and Fh’a original plan.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! It’s good to hear different opinions

Not sure if it’s proper etiquette, but we said if they’ve been in a relationship for more than 6 months, then they were given the extra seat to bring their partner. Everyone else pretty much knows each other and we didn’t give plus ones to anyone! 😬

The usual etiquette book answer is that a fiancé or significant other must be included if on the scene by 2 weeks before invitations go out, when they are being addressed. New relationships after that are strictly optional. One cannot expect new additions after 10-11 weeks out when invitations are written out. At some point numbers for seats, rentals, seating charts and all have to be settled.

Yes, if they have a SO when the invitations go out (~1.5-2 months before the wedding) you need to invite the SO. It doesn't matter if they have one or not when the STDs go out, if you choose to send STDs.

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Did they start seeing the person before you sent invitations and you were just unaware their status had changed? In that case yes, you would extend the invitation to the partner after being informed of her existence.

We have not sent out the STDs yet but we do have our budget and venue. We made our guest list and gave all singles a plus one. We have a small budget (less than 10k) and rearranged our plans to make sure our day was our way. We can't possibly tell what the future holds for our single friends and if they have a SO that's ok. I don't look at it as a stranger at my wedding. It's honoring someone's relationship just like they came to honor ours.

I am going to go against the grain here and say that I gave anyone engaged and married a plus one for their spouse but for those with bf/gf I didn't. Most comments here would think that is rude but if you are tight on the space and budget then that is the way to help reduce it. I was incredibly restricted in space and budget. I could not offer everyone a plus one at all and for the most part they were fine with that. Of course there were some who have bf/gf that would like that but what can they do? It would be nice if you had the space and money to let that happen but if you do not, it is ok.

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The only way we were informed of him having a "girlfriend" was when he asked us how he is supposed to RSVP for her...He knows all of my FH's family, very close...so its not like he doesn't know anyone at the party. His best friend, my FH's brother, had informed us that he just started, literal words, "talking" to her about a week ago. Invites were sent out to only him. We accommodated for friends and family who all have SO's, we also gave plus ones to people who would really only know us in the group...so its not like we are just being selfish with the plus ones...But, I think we are going to pass on this one and if seats become open, we will be able to accommodate. Its just wonderful seeing the different opinions, because this one specifically kind of took us for a loop.

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This happened to us a month before the wedding. My friend was super nice and said I knowwww weddings are expensive, you can totally say no. I said I'll let you know. Then a week later said bring him, what's his name? She said nevermind. Hah. I think you can always say "we just don't have the space". But I have found, these things tend to work themselves out - someone else doesn't come, someone else does. Somehow the venue/ DOC/ you figure it out and it all works out.

We also had two couples no show no call. One man RSVPd no and showed up anyways. And someone brought a new GF we didn't know about. -4 + 2 still worked. Not sure if it works out for everyone else that's gotten married, but just our take.