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Just Said Yes August 2017

Etiquette on asking bridesmaids

Megan, on April 18, 2016 at 9:23 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Hey guys,

So I have what I think is a dilemma but in reality i'm probably just over thinking and making something thats not a big deal a big deal haha. I have 8 bridesmaids and I made a cute little treat to ask them. My issue is getting them together at the same time. I'm wondering how the best way is to go about this? Do I pick a date to get together and who ever can make it makes it and I plan another day for those who can't make it? Do I split the group and do 2 days that way its not just 1 or 2 who aren't there for the one date picked? Do I send a list of dates to everyone and have them pick the best or do I do it individually? My other worry is if I ask some before others, the ones who have not been asked yet finding out and their feelings getting hurt. Like I said I am probably way over thinking this but i'd love any input! Thanks so much!

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Formal Pajamas, on April 18, 2016 at 9:38 PM

Super April 2017
Tori · on April 18, 2016 at 9:25 PM
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I am not sure why they need to all be together, I think as long as you ask them in a certain time frame you will be fine. Even if you need to mail a few boxes that's okay!
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Master September 2016
Mrs. RATR · on April 18, 2016 at 9:26 PM
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Definitely do it individually! Doing it in a group puts a lot of pressure on them to say yes. And I would also WAIT to ask until you're much closer to your date--relationships can change!

And yes, you are overthinking this This is a happy task! It'll be great no matter what.

And welcome to WeddingWire! Make sure you change your picture when you get a chance! You can do this on a desktop by hovering over your name in the top right corner and going to My Settings-->Profile and Privacy Settings-->Account Image.
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Super December 2016
Amy · on April 18, 2016 at 9:27 PM
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I agree with Tori. Just ask the ladies you ask first not to say anything until you ask the rest of your girls.
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VIP May 2017
Jen D. · on April 18, 2016 at 9:28 PM
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I asked each one individually by mailing them a card. I was worried about this situation bc one BM lives in NYC and one is in Scotland in addition to my local Atlanta girls. Luckily they don't all know each other. For the group that includes the out of state/ country, I wrote on their envelopes that they needed to call me before they opened the card. During that call I spoke to each of them and asked that they keep it private bc I was dealing with international mail and didn't want my international BM to see on Facebook before I could ask her.
You could do something similar and just let your ladies know that you're not done asking and to please keep it private until you give them the go-ahead.
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Master March 2017
BlueHenBride · on April 18, 2016 at 9:29 PM
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You have a really long time before your wedding, so I'd recommend waiting a while before asking anyone to be your BMs. But when the time does come, I'd do it individually. Doing it in a group setting could put a lot of pressure on someone to say yes, which could be a problem if anyone has any financial concerns they'd want to discuss with you in private before saying yes with confidence. Also, individually will give you a very special moment to cherish with each of them.
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Master November 2023
Formal Pajamas · on April 18, 2016 at 9:38 PM
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8 is a lot of Bridesmaids, but that being said I DEFINITELY would not ask them all at the same time. Girls will feel pressured to say yes because the other ones around them will be excited and saying yes. If I were in your shoes I definitely would not even ask two of them at the same time due to the pressure they may feel. One at a time.
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