Etiquette for mine and my friends wedding...

1.) Would the shower also be hosted in Europe? Are most of your guests from other countries? This is very unclear.

2.) That's extremely rude and gift grabby.

View Quoted Comment Hi Caytlyn,


Sorry for vagueness. No the shower would be here in the states and my family from Europe would not be coming to the shower so it would just be friends and family from the states (who are invited to the wedding of course).
And ok thank you I thought maybe I was crazy. Her shower is in 2 weeks and I know people have already purchased presents and they are unaware that there will be no reception for them to attend. I myself only found out 2 days ago. Yikes.

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If your guests are invited to the wedding, even if they can't attend, it's entirely fine to invite them to a shower.

I think you should still have a bridal shower if you want to have one, as long as everyone invited to your shower is also invited to the wedding. It would be a great way for some of your invitees to celebrate with you if they already know they won't be able to afford the Europe trip. But if they are able to afford the Europe trip, it's completely their choice to get you a bridal shower gift too. I know if I was able to afford to go to a destination wedding in Europe, a $50-$100 bridal shower gift wouldn't be breaking the bank so I would definitely attend both.

I do think what your friend is doing is rude, but I also wouldn't mention it.

No wedding, no shower unless those invited to the shower are also invited to the wedding.

1) Let them throw you a shower, you'll definitely enjoy it. And that way they can be there with you to celebrate if they are unable to go to Europe

2) I think a shower is nice for someone who couldn't have a wedding. You could never really know why someone might not be able to have a wedding. My friend recently couldn't do one/had to cancel planning hers because she couldn't afford it (they went through difficult times) and so we threw one for her so that she can atleast have SOMETHING to celebrate.. I think, if you are friends with the person, you should be happy for them anyways. I'd imagine as someone having a wedding myself, I'd feel pretty terrible if I couldn't have the wedding I dreamt of, kind of takes the magic away you know?

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Her friend is having a wedding. She's choosing to have a private wedding by eloping. When you choose to elope, you choose to forgo having a bridal shower or a bachelorette party.

View Quoted Comment Very aware of what an elopement is, thanks! Again, there could have been a million reasons why someone eloped instead of had a wedding. Did you know that there’s actually no rule book! If you don’t agree then simply don’t go to the shower