Etiquette for inviting people from work

(Ugh, got a call and it posted automatically without finishing my thoughts)

But to help keep the costs of the wedding down, I would prefer that he does not invite them. Of course, I don’t want to just say no to him, I need to understand what the protocol for these situations are and make sure that I’m not being selfish with the budget.

I am asking a few people from where I work, but we see each other outside of work. The co-workers I am inviting were also invited to our house warming and they were there when my FH proposed to me.

When it comes to the invites I am just not going to be flashy about it because I do not want everyone else getting upset about it. Because after our housewarming there was a couple co-workers that asked why they were not invited.

An easy guideline is to only invite co-workers with whom you have a social relationship outside work. "Interacting" outside work, would depend on how often, and in what manner.

Half of my wedding list are "work friends". Many of them we have known for years, mostly from previous jobs, and have maintained a relationship where we now consider them as friends first. We're also inviting FH's boss & 2 coworkers (plus their spouses) because they're a small office and we see them all socially at least a couple times a year. However, we've decided to draw the line at "work friends" whom one of us haven't met. We figure if we haven't all gotten together in the last 3 years, then we can't be that close. Honestly, I would leave this up to your FH's best judgment. Maybe just ask if he's inviting them because he actually wants them there or because he feels obligated to invite them as their boss.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, this was helpful!

Him being the boss is the reason why he’s finding it difficult, if he’s out (destination wedding) and the rest of his workers are out, then over half of his department would not be there to handle business. Next time this topic comes up, I’ll advise him to invite based on him actually wanting them there, and not out of obligation.

You may find the information provided by Alison Green (AskaManager) helpful. She is a workplace etiquette blogger and has given advice on this type of situation before.

Here website is: http://www.askamanager.org

The excerpt below is from an article she wrote for US News: https://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/articles/2017-05-01/how-to-invite-co-workers-to-your-wedding

What if I'm the boss? Am I expected to invite my staff members to my wedding?

Nope! (And really, most people will be relieved, since the power dynamics in the relationship mean people may wonder if they're more obligated to accept the invitation than they otherwise would if it weren't somewhat related to their job.)

However, if you do decide to invite members of your team, keep in mind that as the boss, you can't play favorites. If you invite some of the employees who report to you but not others, it's likely to look like favoritism and will make other employees wonder whether you're being fair in things like work assignments, raises, professional development opportunities and access to you. So that means you should invite everyone who reports to you or none of them.

Being their boss makes it a sticky situation. I agree with PP that he needs to invite all or none.

I ended up inviting (probably too many) people from work, but kept it to the people that I ate with or who I interacted with the most. I invited my direct supervisors (after I quit the job), but didn't invite other people's supervisors since I didn't want it to be weird for other people I invited. If i was anyone's supervisor, I'm not sure if I would have invited any of them.

I am not inviting anyone from work because I am their boss and do not hang out with them. The few people FH is inviting are people both of us regularly hang out with at least once every two weeks (though often more since we have several game nights a week between various RPGs and regular board games). We decided we only wanted people we think of as close. It is okay to limit your guest list.

We invited all of my work friends that i have outside work relationships with.

I was on the fence about inviting coworkers....until that all threw me a fancy tea party bridal shower. So....i had to. All 12

View Quoted Comment

No, you didn't have to invite them. Workplace showers/showers hosted by coworkers are commonplace and an exception to the rule that anyone invited to a pre wedding event, needs to be invited to the wedding.

I was going to say invite them but I think inviting them to a destination wedding is a little odd. It puts a bit of an obligation on them to go because he's their boss.

View Quoted Comment Aw man, why didn't i just ask you first?.....

I am inviting a few people from my current job to my wedding. however, i hang out, text and talk to these people outside of work and have continued friendship with two of them since they left the company i work for.

if he thinks them close enough friends to invite to his wedding, and you have the space in your guest list and budget then i dont see the problem. i wouldn't be inviting the whole department, but inviting those you've grown a friendship with even if they're from work is not an issue.