Gabrielle
Devoted January 2020

Etiquette for invites

Gabrielle, on October 17, 2019 at 5:32 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20
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Hey ladies, so my FH and I sent out our save the dates a few weeks ago, and we’ve gotten several responses over text and in person from people who say they won’t be able to come. My question is do we still send them an invitation, or do we rely on their initial response?

20 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    Yes, you should still send them an invitation. Plans change.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'd still send an invite. Plans change & regardless they will hopefully send a gift even if they can't attend (we always do at least).

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  • Michaela
    Super May 2020
    Michaela ·
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    I don't think everyone understands how save the dates work. Just sent mine last week too.. I had a concerned friend text me asking how he was supposed to RSVP. I had to tell him that it was much too early for that lol

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  • Gabrielle
    Devoted January 2020
    Gabrielle ·
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    Fair point; thanks for your input Smiley smile
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  • Gabrielle
    Devoted January 2020
    Gabrielle ·
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    Hahaha yes that’s true; thank you!
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  • Gabrielle
    Devoted January 2020
    Gabrielle ·
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    Right?? I feel like people only really learn how to handle save the dates after they’ve been closely involved in a wedding
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    Def still send! I had an aunt who we knew couldnt come bc she just had major surgery and would have a long drive/flight. She sent us a card and check saying she would not be coming. But I still sent her an invite and a note that we would miss her and wanted her to still feel included and be able to see the invites!
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  • Gabrielle
    Devoted January 2020
    Gabrielle ·
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    Ooh I like the idea of sending a note as well, thank you
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  • Future Mrs. A. 💍
    Super November 2020
    Future Mrs. A. 💍 ·
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    I would still send - only Bc the save the dates isn’t anything necessary and plans change so who knows what could happen from now until then and plus they might feel awkward not getting an invite after reviving a std
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  • Alejandra
    Devoted November 2020
    Alejandra ·
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    For me personally it would depend. If it was a close relative or someone I felt close to, I would still send an invite. If it’s a friend that maybe you’re not as close to, I wouldn’t send them one. But that’s just me!
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  • Alejandra
    Devoted November 2020
    Alejandra ·
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    And my reasoning behind that ^^^^ is just that it’s easier to save money on invites, postage, postage for their RSVP, than to send it out anyway and just have the same “no” sent back.
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  • Tara
    Super November 2016
    Tara ·
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    Even though it seems like a waste, definitely still send them an invitation. Something may change inthe next few months and they may be able to go.
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  • Yoice
    VIP March 2019
    Yoice ·
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    Unlike popular opinion I wouldn’t send one in fact I didn’t send to those who said they weren’t coming after STD. It felt odd to me sending an invitation to someone who already said they couldn’t make it. I didn’t want them to think I was pressuring them or expecting a gift after the formal invitation. That’s just me. Oh and I also saved money on the invites.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I would definitely send them one. Plans change and this way they will have the info and might change their mind.
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  • J
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    JayCee ·
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    I would still send them an invitation. A save the date is essentially a "pre" invitation and if you sent them a save the date you should still send them an Invitation. Let them decide what they want to do once the invitation arrives. It may save you a lot of hurt feelings later. Good Luck

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  • Gabrielle
    Devoted January 2020
    Gabrielle ·
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    Thanks for all your input ladies! You all bring really good points Smiley smile we’ll send them invites, just to be safe
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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I would send it to them
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  • Andrea
    VIP April 2020
    Andrea ·
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    For me personally, I wouldn't send them an invitation. But of course, I think it really depends on the circumstance. FH and I have gotten a few folks (all on his side) who have said they don't want to come to the wedding because of drama with his mom. Why would we then go ahead, and send them invites? You know what I mean, Gabrielle? LOL For us, it would just be ridiculous to. They are grown adults who can't put pettiness aside and are willing to miss our wedding for high school drama. So they aren't getting invites. It may seem harsh, but I'm not going to pressure anyone to come to my wedding. If they say they can't come, they can't come! In our situation, these folks don't WANT to come. So you can sort of see the difference. But yeah, generally speaking it depends on the circumstances. I'm wishing you the best!!Smiley heart

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  • L
    Lady Online ·
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    Definitely send an invitation. Plans change all the time and it's the polite thing to do.

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  • Jazmine
    Expert September 2019
    Jazmine Online ·
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    I would not send them an invite
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