Etiquette Advice: Guest Breakups & Invitations

If she is in a relationship, yes you should invite him (and any other people who are in a relationship, regardless of if you met them). Reach out to her and get his name so you can put his name on the invitation instead of just a plus one (as it's not a true plus one since she's in a relationship).

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Thanks LB! I will have to follow up with her about it (I don't even know if they are calling it a relationship yet--that new!). We'll have to factor that count into our total guest #

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Omg, I love when new posters are receptive to advice Stick around for sure!

Agreed with LB, it is proper etiquette to invite anyone in a relationship no matter how new it is. I understand what you're saying about it being a strain on numbers, but it is the polite and proper thing to do. And as LB said you should text him and invite him specifically by name. You have to think of it in a sense that by the time your wedding roles around they could be dating for almost four months which is a significant period.

A plus one is given to truly single guests and is up to your discretion. Anyone in a relationship (when invites go out) no matter the length of time they have been together needs to have their partner invited by name.

So, you would need to invite the friend along with their new partner by name in all of these situations. You're also welcome to invite the Ex with a plus one or without if you choose.

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You probably aren't sending out your invites for another month or so though correct? By that time they will likely have had "the talk" and will either be in a relationship or...not. I'd include the extra for now, and get his name as it gets closer.

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Yes! Since we have a lot of family from out of town (opposite coast) making arrangements we're likely sending them at the end of this month (May). I like your approach too. I'll try and approach her about it at some point in the next few weeks. (Also love Daria!)

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Big Hello Kitty fan here as well.

We made our guest list in July and sent invites in March. Anyone who was on the list in July who was in a relationship, we invited their SO. Anyone who wasnt in a relationship in July, we didn't send an invite to their SO if they got one in that time frame. The etiquette is to invite SOs when you send out the invites but if we hadn't met the person and they were just a flavor of the week, we didn't want them there. I communicated that to everyone I thought would have an issue with it and they were all fine with it. Its a lot of money for someone you don't know and probably won't get to know.
Its up to you. If you're able to budget it without blinking an eye then invite the SO or its important to you to follow the etiquette.

My advice was shared, so I'm just piggybacking off the comment about the knot forums.

I went there first and tried to be receptive about the advice I was looking for, but then I commented on another forum and was told in literally the rudest way possible that `1- my advice was terrible (I was brand new, I didn't know!) and 2- the thread was old (again, new, sorry!)

I've seen SOME rude responses on here, and I've seen people call others who are more blunt in their advice rude as well, but mostly they were people who didn't like what they were hearing These forums are mostly super positive and wonderful!

Welcome to the community!

View Quoted Comment My FH and I really followed the same mentality that you did with this process! We invited only established couples as of December, and did not offer +1s to many single guests as we are expecting about 170 people total. I just wanted to avoid having our wedding be someone’s first date with someone random, and I know some of my friends could do that. I also didn’t trust some of my friends to not bring random people that wouldn’t take major advantage of our open bar! Haha. I am open to inviting all significant others to the wedding, though. Just want to clarify with my friends if they are actually dating and it isn’t a fling there (I like how you said “flavor of the week”).

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I am so sorry that you had a negative experience as well. It’s unfortunate that people can be so antagonistic and exclusive rather than welcoming. I am very open to hearing the opinions of others and even if I disagree, I like to view myself as diplomatic and kind. I was met with a very hostile pack of users that had been on those forums for 10+ years, and I decided it is just not the place for me .