Estranged parent and invite wording

Yeah if you aren't inviting him there is no way he should be mentioned on the invite.

But to appease your mom, maybe you could say "together with their families" that way it is not specific. Or don't mention families at all "you are cordially invited to the wedding of...."

ETA: I chose "you are cordially invited" wording because my father is passed and it seemed awkward to just list my mom as if she was a single parent, or try to list my deceased father, even though my mom is contributing substantially. Sometimes you just choose the wording that is easier for everyone.

You're not crazy, he should definitely be left off the invitation. Just tell you mom that you understand her heart is in the right place, but you don't feel comfortable having him on the invitation.

I think you're being very reasonable. I have cut ties with several family members and I don't think there should be guilt surrounding that. You do what you think is right. Listed family is not necessarily blood, it's who you consider your family and who love and support you. I'm not sure how to best communicate that with your mom since you want to be respectful of her feelings, that's a toughy. Best of luck

I second the "Together with their families, so and so invite you to..." We decided to do that with our invitations, mainly because we wanted simple on our invitations... and we're handling all of the costs for our wedding.

My fiancé's father's name is not going on anything.

In his situation, his father was also estranged, they never even met and his father passed away years ago.

His mother however, hasn't pushed to include his father.

I am sure you have already covered with your mother that you do not want your dad included in any part of your wedding because you have a very negative past with him and you don't want that clouding your wedding day.

Has she told you why she wants to include him? I think before you can convince her that it'll be okay if he's not mentioned, there has to be an understanding of why she feels it's so important.

Otherwise, we too are using the wording of "the families of BRIDE & GROOM cordially invite you . . ."

It would be really weird to put him on the invite, people would then be confused and ask questions. I'd show your mom examples of wedding invites without the parents or with just one parent so she can envision it. There is also working "together with their families"...

We were in a situation with a lot of sets of competitive parents on H's side and we opted not to name any parents or step parents by name. we used "together with their families" as well. it doesn't sound like there's any reason to include your father's name on the invites anyway--traditionally this is only included if the parent is helping out financially in some way.

I would not include his name. You can have just your mom's name on it. Wedding invitations are sentimental and I don't think you want that on it. Listen to your gut.

I think together with their families is the best way to go. I have never loved the "parents of" language. It's very formal, if you are doing a less formal wedding, maybe explain that to your mom, that it doesn't fit with the "vibe". I am not even running this by my parents because I don't want them to get stuck on it and if they have a problem with it...we'll work it out. Both families contributed.

We currently have "daughter of Mr and Mrs blah" and "son of Mr and Mrs blah", so that is why she thinks he should be included.

Everyone that is coming to the wedding knows he is dead to me. They know he was an ass and frankly, no one invited likes him anyways. I get she is just being a good person but I don't want him to think he had anything to do with my big day.. And it would slight my step-dad. I'm just going to show her this thread because I've told her, and she doesn't want to commit some faux-pas.

@justkidding we were going to say "we as a couple" or something to that extent, but my mom is paying a big chunk and has helped out so much. I DEMANDED she have her name since she is helping out so much.

"Together with their families" seems to b a great option!

Don't include him on the invite. Maybe just say "together with their families" so no ones names are mentioned, to keep it simple.

He's not a father to you. A father is so much more than a man who helped create you. This man doesn't deserve to be a guest at your wedding, and if it's causes you any stress, I wouldn't let him.

I think you are right not to include him on the invitation