Estranged 1st cousins/Family Drama Invites

They would be the only first cousins not invited if I did this, because our rule was "first cousins only, no kids, and no second cousins", mainly because we ARE close with most of our first cousins or at least see them 1-3 times a year. So I'm not sure if I should just leave it or replace them with people that will actually come and that I would actually enjoy seeing.

Nope to the cousin whose wife has disowned your family. You could invite the nice cousin, just know that he probably won't show up and the invitation is just a nice gesture.

I didn't invite any cousins. I sure as hell didn't invite a few uncles, because i don't have a relationship with them, nor am i inviting my grandma.

Like Mrs70 said, it's not a family reunion. If it'll be drama if they attend, why invite them?

If you aren't close with them and there's a chance they don't even show up, I would rather invite my friends who care about celebrating my marriage

We did invite the family we didn't want to just to please his parents and I still regret choosing them over our friends. In retrospect I really wish I pushed harder to prioritize our lists over the family he doesn't talk to and I've never met, so I would suggest not inviting them.

Thanks all! I showed my mom the article that made me re-think it and she said she agrees, so probably it's best to just invite some friends who will enjoy celebrating with us. Here was the article incase anyone else wants a good read

https://www.brides.com/story/people-to-cross-off-your-wedding-guest-list-and-why

I have estranged family too, I think almost everyone does in a small way. I have cousins whom I'd rather not have around (cousin-in-law/cousins who are psychotic and addicts), and I know for SURE I will not invite them. I'll invite their parents but not them. Some said cousins didn't even have the decency to RSVP to my sister's wedding, so I know they'll do it to mine.

If they cause drama BC they didn't get an invite, tough luck. Just BC they're family by blood, it doesn't mean I get along with them.

You know your family better than we do, so you have to make the call.

Yeah if you don’t have a relationship with them, I think you’re okay to not invite them. I have an aunt, uncle, and a few cousins who live in a different state who don’t care to keep in touch, or even let us know when they’re in town. I haven’t seen them since I was 15 or 16. I also have my moms stepfamily who similarly do not care to keep in touch and we only see them when we ask what they’re doing and go out of our way to say hi. They’re all very nice people but I just don’t have a relationship with them and inviting both families plus significant others for cousins would have had me invite an additional 26 people. Nope.

Nope and nope. I didn't want to invite an uncle/aunt, who I don't have a relationship with. My father might e-mail the uncle once a year; he doesn't even have his address. Dad whined about it for a couple of months, so I added them to the guest list. They were the only 2, of 250 guests, who didn't have the courtesy to RSVP. They didn't even send a congratulatory e-mail. When my sister married after me, she didn't even waste an invitation on them.

FWIW - I'm not inviting my fathers brothers family - but both of his sisters and their families are invited. Invited friends instead. No skin off my nose here!

We had a bit of aunt-uncle drama with the invites--because of reasons my uncle and dad don't speak anymore (and they're twins! the whole thing is very wild) and so i honoured my dad's discomfort and didn't invite them but did invite their kids. there was a mild bit of upset but in the end everyone was fine and understood. my short answer advice is, if you're having doubts about including someone, just don't invite. it's personal, but your gut instinct is usually right.

I am not inviting estranged family. If they are not part of my every day life, they are not coming. Simple as that. I kept it that way for "friends" as well. If we were great friends 10 years ago, but rarely speak today, no invite. Co workers that I am not friends with outside of work...no invite.

No invitations to friends parents...nope, no invite. That took my guest list from almost 200 to 80 people and makes things much nicer.

My FH mother was really upset about this, but we are paying for our wedding 100%, so that was my decision.

I, in not so many words, let her know if she would like to have a family reunion, she can organize, host and pay for that event on her own, outside of my wedding.

I basically sat down with the FH and we discussed if we would be upset if these people were not there...if not, they didn't get an invite. We were able to cut our guest list in less than half doing this. Now we have much more funding for the people that are in our lives to have a great time.

So...no, I wouldn't waste my energy on estranged anyone.

Who's paying? This isn't a reunion; it's your wedding. 200 guests is massive; that has to include people you're not really close to, right?

Cut them. Invite your friends. It'll be a more fun party for you.