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October 2021

Entitled Sister in Law thinks she should be moh

Emma, on August 16, 2020 at 10:05 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8

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My sister in law thinks that she should be my maid of honor because she introduced me to my fiancé. We were good friends in college and now we will be family. But since college she has changed greatly.

This woman is self centered, entitled and she makes it very difficult to be around her... she does what she can to upstage anyone and recently told me she plans on looking better than me on my wedding day.
I chose my absolute best friend as my MOH. There was no question about it who I wanted. It was a no brainer.
My SIL is so upset. She told me that since she introduced me to my fiancé she should be honored by being my MOH.
She asked if I would consider a second MOH. I don’t want a second one, and she has already been asked to be a bridesmaid.
To top it off, she is demanding a title, and wants to give a speech at the wedding.
What can I do? I’m marrying into the family, I’ve thrown her a beautiful (and very expensive) baby shower as well as stepped up for her when her MOH was trash. No, I did not receive the title but I didn’t care about that.
She never compromises, and it constantly has to be about her. I personally don’t like to live in the spotlight, but my wedding day should be different.
Any advice? Thank you!

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Margaret, on August 17, 2020 at 11:35 AM

Super October 2021
Suzie · on August 16, 2020 at 10:13 PM
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Sounds like you are very clear on what you want. Don’t give in to her demands, you made you choice and she has to deal with it. Her introducing you does not give her automatic MOH duties. You don’t owe her anything for introducing the two of you, and her saying that you do is really crappy of her. How she is acting now will not stop, and you’ll have to deal with these tantrums all through your wedding planning. Do you really want to deal with that? Stand strong, hun.
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Devoted August 2020
Alisa · on August 16, 2020 at 10:39 PM
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Def don't let her pressure you. how you handle her behavior now will set a precedent and its YOUR and your Fiance's wedding. so what she wants doesn't matter in the least.
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Super October 2021
Ashley · on August 16, 2020 at 10:40 PM
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Goodness. I wouldn’t have even asked her to be a bridesmaid. Stand your ground. You don’t owe her anything, and she clearly doesn’t want to be MOH for the right reasons. She is going to be problematic throughout your planning...
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on August 16, 2020 at 10:41 PM
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Let her know that you’re not changing your mind & she can either accept it or be out of the wedding all together. Don’t let her overbearing personality ruin your day! This day is about you & your FH!
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on August 16, 2020 at 11:19 PM
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Like others have said stand your ground. She doesn’t get to demand to be MOH. That’s a choice you make. She can give a speech at the reception as the groom’s sister if you and FH are ok with that. Other than that stand your ground.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on August 17, 2020 at 5:03 AM
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Time for FH to step in and talk to his sister about BOUNDARIES.
You've been clear. She's not getting the hint.
I'm sorry.
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Super August 2021
Sarah · on August 17, 2020 at 10:45 AM
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Wow she sounds awful. I wouldn't give in to what she wants, its not about her it's your day. Your fh should have a conversation with her about her behavior.
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on August 17, 2020 at 11:35 AM
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I'm sorry you're dealing with this, how awful. I think you just have to ignore her wishes and follow your heart. Whatever your reasons are they are YOURS. You don't have to answer to anyone and just let her know you've envisioned this day for years and having XYZ as your MOH is what you've wanted and this is how it is. You can thank her for her help, but you'll let her know as the day gets closer how she can be of assistance. And then I'd leave her out of the planning.
And to be quite honest, you don't owe her or anyone an explanation as to who you want or choose.
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