Enjoying youth vs having child earlier

I am almost 28 and gave birth to my son in 2017 (he is almost 3). I honestly felt like I was ready for a child and it was the best decision of my life he brings us soooo much happiness. My fiance and I still take vacations every single year by ourselves, it didn't put a stop to "enjoying our youth". When we go on vacation our son goes with my sister to stay with my niece and nephew who he LOVES being around. We were already financially stable so it wasn't a burden or anything.

I'm getting married at 25 and we will be trying immediately. We have enjoyed our 20s (met in college and have had awesome years), but we want kids. And we figure we will be done raising our kids ealier than many, which gives us some time to travel and enjoy each other later. I also like having the peace of mind that I am unlikely to have issues conceiving due to age (family in mid-to-late 30s are struggling, and it's heartbreaking)


Also, I just have a desire for a baby. I've never been on any hormonal BC, so I'm not sure if that shuts down baby fever, but my baby fever is raging. Luckily, FH has assured me that we are financially ready so I don't start a family on just a gut feeling. But honestly that's a big part of it.

My FH and I have discussed and are planning to have kids in five years (I'm 24, he's 25), to us early 30's is the best time because as pp have said, 35+ can mean many more issues to conceive. A consideration for me is my career, this will give me a better chance to establish myself as a mid-career employee before taking on the challenge of having children while working, which unfortunately has a much greater impact on the woman's career. Apart from that, I definitely don't feel ready now - I see so many aspects of my life where I need to grow as a person before I'll feel confident to teach a little one and bring them into this world. I think it depends on your experiences so far as to if you feel like you have missed out on many things or if having a family now will bring you the most joy.

Me and FH are both in our early 20s (him 23, me 20) we have both always wanted kids. I was a nanny in highschool and currently would as a infant room teacher at a daycare. He loves kids and is great with them. Kids is something we talked about very early on in our relationship because it was so important to both of us. We will enjoy a year of being married first. Though We have lived with each other for a year already so I’m not going to have to learn how he is in a house, which is great. I am however getting off my birth control after the wedding because I don’t like the side effects. Basically we are saying, if it happens it happens (he trust condoms more then I do). If we are able to keep from getting pregnant without my birth control then we will be TTC around the end of next summer.

We’re going on 31 and 32. My FH was married before and they couldn’t conceive. He has one child with a different woman, so we know it is possible.
With my mom’s extreme blood pressure issues during both her pregnancies, I’d rather try now while I’m young and healthy than have even higher risk later.
Plus, we want two kids and if we spaced them out, the earliest I’d have the first one would be next fall (I’d be going on 32) and then I’d want to have at least 2 years between them, so you’re figuring second one at 33/34. If we wait much longer, then I’d be considered a high risk pregnancy from the start. And that’s not a stressor I want to have.

I’m 27 and husband is 31. I don’t feel anywhere near ready to have a child. So it’s a decision we are going to come to in a few years aha I want to enjoy my 20s

I’m 29 and my wife is 28. We’ve both definitely enjoyed our 20’s...maybe even a little too much. Not only that, but I think you can still enjoy your youth with children. We have stable jobs, we own our home. We feel like we’re in a good place to start a family. We also don’t know how long it will take us to get pregnant, so we don’t want to keep waiting and delay that process even further.

My husband and I have been trying for 2 years. So my advice is if it's something you think you want, start sooner rather than later and be prepared that it might not happen on your planned timing.

I am 33 and my wife is 31. We are about to start TTC. We have both had our fun throughout college and even post college. But now, we both have great jobs and are just ready to start a family. There are still some places I would like to travel, but we are lucky to have 2 sets are grandparents who will be more than willing to keep our kid(s) when needed.

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I have always known since i was in kindergarten I wanted to be married and have kids... i was put on a lose dose BC pill due to my horrible excruciating cramps and heavy bleeding every month since i was 18 and I took myself off at 29 yrs old due to it not working as advertised and dr said i could stop whenever.. (instead of getting my period, skipping 3 months, getting my period and skipping 3 months, i suddenly wasn't getting my period anymore.. when i talked to the doctor she said i could just stop and after a few months it should return to pre-pills. took awhile but i am back to a normal month cycle. my baby fever has always been there despite taking the pills all those years, and the last few have been working to get my body back to prime for conceiving/carrying and delivery babies when it's time... plus all my married siblings are having kids now, and i would love to have my kids have cousins the same age..and i am 32 gonna be 33 in Dec 2020. i feel my clock ticking..

View Quoted Comment That's awesome that your cycle is back on track! Wishing you luck in conceiving!!

View Quoted Comment Echoing this. I think after some crazy years, FH and I are excited for a new adventure, a commitment to raising our own little one. Also seconding that we don't feel like we won't enjoy our youth--my friends who have babies still come to dinner parties, go on trips, go to concerts, etc. It just looks a bit different.

Me and my FH have discussed it and with him being 4 years older than me ( I'm 24 he's 28) and when we marry 25 and 29. We would have been together 4 years when we marry next year. We have decided we want to enjoy being married for a year or 2 before we have kids. I'll be in my late 20's and he will be early 30's. A big thing is we want to be financially ready before we have kids. He makes good money and I just graduated college and going for my Master's next year so I'm still figuring out my career. I think it is all based on a personal couples decision. Everyone is different and at different life stages.

Honestly, I don’t think there is ever a “right time” to have children. I am now past the age where I would ever consider having a baby. And looking back, there is never a time when I would have felt like I was ready or that it wouldn’t in some way impede on my lifestyle. The fact is, no matter what age you are, you are still going to enjoy going out with friends, going to concerts, traveling, etc. No matter what age you have babies at, they are always going to change that lifestyle. So if you & your spouse both feel you want to expand your family, and you are in a financial position to do so, I say go for it! Otherwise, If you wait until It fits into your social life, you will probably find yourself past the age to safely conceive.

My future wife and I plan to start TTC in early 2022. The wedding is in November of 2021 and I will be 28 and she will be 25. We both have had our fun years and are ready to start a family. We both have good jobs and we have a home so that isn't an issue. I plan to stop birth control soon after the wedding and starting the process in April/May of 2022!

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 29 and I decided earlier on that I was going to enjoy my 20s and start having kids in my 30s. I matured later on in life so I feel like if I had children in my 20s I wouldn't have been a good parent to them because I'd still be immature buying things I want instead of what they need and going out drinking every weekend and ditching them on my parents all the time. I mean I could have definitely changed once becoming pregnant but I didn't want to be forced to grow up and actually take responsibility of raising a child. And now that I'm 29 I definitely feel like if I had a kid now I'd be ready.

Lol, I'm 30 and still don't feel ready. We bought a house and got a dog last year. We were thinking maybe next year but with COVID, I would rather wait a little longer, plus we literally have nowhere to put a child with both of us working from home right now, and I definitely want to be more financially secure. We have good jobs but I have so much student loan debt from law school. We're also trying to get in better shape. I'm hoping that the pandemic will be under control in the spring, so H can look for an office again and we can start thinking about TTC in maybe early 2022.

We're staring down my age as the deciding factor.

We've been TTC since January, and have run into heartbreak. Talk to your doctor and your husband, and figure out what's best for you.

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I'm so sorry. I hope you're able to find a way to build your family.

Thank you all! It is great to hear everyone’s perspective!