Engagement/wedding rings - same sex marriage

Not me personally, but my FBILs... my FH brother proposed with a symbolic ring tied around the neck of a guitar that he had gotten his partner for an anniversary gift. He wanted a flair of tradition with having a ring to propose with and slip on his partner's finger after he said yes. Unfortunately the ring is tad too large and unable to be resized due to the type of metal so he doesn't wear it too often for fear of loosing it, so mostly they are both going sans-ring for now. In any case they are planning on putting that ring in a shadowbox as a keepsake and pick out wedding bands together.

Not me either, but one of my best friends is part of a same-sex couple. When her now-wife proposed to her, they both started wearing matching plain and diamond bands (they both have two), and still wear the same rings now that they're married.

Me and my FW are currently wearing our rings we proposed to each other with (on our left hand). We aren't buying a band because our rings are pretty simple, they have diamonds embedded in the ring, nothing sticking out. So we don't feel the need to purchase a separate "wedding band." Right before the wedding, we are going to stop wearing the rings, get them cleaned and exchange them at the ceremony.

I don't really think there's anything different about how you wear the rings based off of being a same sex couple. It's all in what you want to do really. I've personally never heard of the wearing the ring on your right hand, but if that's what you want, go for it.

I also don't really know what strict rules you are referring to? What are they? (I'm just curious). I mean, we are "defying" the rules by only having one ring as opposed to an engagement ring AND band but that has nothing to do with us being a same sex couple, that's just cause we don't want two rings lol.

View Quoted Comment

Nice. We had a similar experience - we'd ordered our rings online, and mine was way too small (took a LOT of soapy water and effort to get it back off). Fortunately, the seller was happy to exchange for a different size as these rings also can't be resized (the concrete bands would just crumble).

I love the idea of the shadowbox for the symbolic ring, then getting wedding bands together.

View Quoted Comment

Did they wear them on the same hand, or switch hands after the wedding?

View Quoted Comment

Rules such as "the man should never wear a ring till after the wedding", or that the groom buys the bride a ring of a certain value, or you have a ring and a band, etc etc. On these forums alone, there's a lot of strong opinions on the proper etiquette for rings you'll see as your reading around.

Personally, I find our experience IS different being a same-sex couple (two men in our case), because at least in our social circles, nobody has placed any of the usual expectations on how we're doing anything. Nobody's placing any of those expectations on us, because so many of the common etiquette/traditions/rules are based on an opposite-sex marriage and don't really work. So in a way, we're getting a lot of freedom to do it our way while experiencing less criticism than many straight couples have to deal with.

View Quoted Comment Ahh gotcha. Maybe since we are two brides we haven’t heard that - I’ve actually been on these forums for a while but I literally never read rings posts cause I don’t really care haha! So I’ve guess I’ve sheltered myself from that.

View Quoted Comment

I had to go back and look at the photos from the night she proposed - they both have them on their left hands then, and still do today.

My future wife proposed to me and I wear my engagement ring on my left ring finger. Then I bought her one to wear on her left hand too. She’s the groom in the wedding (she refuses to be called bride) but I never knew the “groom doesn’t wear a ring” thing. I learn something new everyday!

We’re a same sex couple and these are our rings. We weren’t concerned about them matching, I got mine first and then let FW pick out a ring she liked!

Same sex couple here.
My FW just proposed a week ago. I wear a beautiful engagement ring on my left hand ring finger.
She currently wears nothing on her left hand.
We do have matching bands picked out...she picked them when she had my engagement bring made.
Once we are married she will wear her band as so will I. Until then she wears nothing on her left hand simply because she does not want to wear two rings and she will not wear her wedding band until our wedding day when I place it on her finger.

I'm not worried about her not wearing a engagement ring. I know she is mine!

View Quoted Comment Fascinating stream and so glad to have people ahead of me to give ideas. I don't really care about "norms" per se but truly don't know what to do with rings because like it or not, most wedding ring stuff online is for man and woman.


My current thinking is I would like to buy us both relatively inexpensive (<$100) bands for the engagement. I want to surprise him and think having a ring makes it special. Then, assuming he says yes =) we will search together for the wedding rings. Once married, I think the engagement rings go into a display or are used for specific occasions and the wedding rings will be worn on our left hands.