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Gen
Champion June 2019

Engagement ring regret?

Gen, on August 13, 2018 at 7:47 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 18
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I feel bad saying this because I feel like a brat lol but my FH let me pick out my engagement ring and I feel like I was so eager to get it that we just picked one out at a regular chain jewelry store right off the highway where we live, and that was that.

Now we started going into these cute local antique jewelry shops at places that are significant to us (looking for our wedding bands) and I’m seeing all these engagement rings that are 1) so much cheaper and 2) have so much more of a story than mine do. I feel like this is stupid because I do love the look of my ring but I feel like it’s just not that sentimental... like it’s not even like he proposed with it, we just picked it out together at a chain store by our house.

My FH is being the sweetest ever and offered to spend a few hundred on another ring that would feel like it had more sentimentality to both of us, but like I said, I’m super hesitant to let him do this because I feel like I’m being an unappreciative brat.

Can anyone relate? Any similar regrets?

18 Comments

Latest activity by HayMrsO, on August 14, 2018 at 12:25 PM
  • J
    Dedicated December 2018
    Josephine ·
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    Well, you could always sell the one you bought and potentially save a few hundred dollars buying one of these antiques. But to be completely honest, you don't know the stories of these other rings, so they don't have any sentimental value to you. Your ring, on the other hand, may be of the most sentimental worth to you as it becomes a symbol of your commitment and everlasting love for decades to come. Another thing to discuss as well is the value of the diamonds - this will be the diamond that sparkles on your hand for the rest of your life, so I wouldn't skimp there. Feel free to get creative with the wedding bands! That will be a fun memory to have that you bought them together at antique shops! But I would be very hesitant to give up what you already have.
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  • K
    Super September 2018
    Kate ·
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    I find the one he gave me sentimental. Because it's what he proposed it and I have worn for years now so I love the meaning behind mine.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    You’re very right, thank you. I know it’s not so much that the other rings have stories behind them from other people, it’s just that they’re more unique and there’s more of a story behind where and how WE got it. Idk I’m most likely just overthinking it
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    That makes sense, see my FH didn’t even propose with mine, we went to the store together and got it about a month after we got engaged because he wanted me to be able to pick it out! I really appreciated that at the time but in hindsight I’m feeling like it’s missing the sentimentality of him picking it and proposing with it
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  • J
    Dedicated December 2018
    Josephine ·
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    Hey girl, I totally get it! Ring regret is a real thing, but if you objectively loved your own ring when you picked it out, you'll live it even more years down the road. Remember the reasons why you picked it out in the first place, and get creative with other pieces for the wedding. I bought our cake topper (a crystal figurine of a bride and groom) from a local antique shop, so there are plenty of other ways to build those memories and make it special and unique Smiley smile
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Isn't there a story behind where and how you guys got your original ring? If I replaced my ring I would always know that it was the runner up because I wasn't happy enough with the ring I received originally.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    There’s literally no story behind the original one. We were already engaged for a month, we went to a store together, we liked it, we bought it. It just seems so mundane and insignificant...
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I understand. What is the difference between that and going to a smaller jewelry shop, liking a ring, and buying it? I get what you're saying, but the only additional "story" behind the second ring would be that you already had one ring, decided you didn't like it anymore, went to another store, and purchased a ring. The store that you purchase the ring at isn't going to make the ring any more or less significant.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Well the difference is the rings we were looking at now are from a local shop and we’re on vacation in a significant place that we visit every year for a week. It just feels like it would have a more meaningful association behind it.

    Idk I guess it does sound dumb when I put it into words. You’re definitely right, i know my logic is flawed, I’m frustrated with myself lol
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  • M
    Expert September 2018
    M ·
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    You're fine! I was reading a different post last week and some people choose not to wear their engagement ring at all. Your explanation about the importance of the rings you're looking at is more clear in your follow up explanation vs the original post. But If you and your FH see a ring and can afford to buy it and keep it sell your old one. Do it.
    I know people replace diamonds in their rings or add settings later for anniversaries and such. I don't see how this is that different.

    Sometimes it's good to type things out though.

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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    Get whatever ring you like as long as he is ok with it. I love my vintage ring!
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    It is really good to type things out, honestly it helped so much... it actually helped me articulate and I had a really long talk with my FH a couple hours ago, realized my upset was really about other things and the ring was just what I was projecting it onto.

    lots of thanks to you and everyone else who commented for helping me talk it out, this really helped!!
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  • Mrs.Bee
    Super August 2018
    Mrs.Bee ·
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    While I am happy with the ring we chose together, my FH calls this my starter ring. He said he wants something nicer later down the line. Maybe you can consider this a starter ring and visit your special place on your anniversary and get new ring then? Or like above said, sell ring, then buy new one, but you might lose some value. Have you gotten your wedding band yet? Maybe you can have him pick that out alone and propose with that? I know the feeling of not being surprised with the ring. Good luck and congratulations on your special day! Smiley heart
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Yeah I thought I liked that I got to pick out my own ring, but in hindsight I wish it had been a surprise and that he had just picked out for me! Agh. Can’t have it both ways :p
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  • M
    Savvy August 2018
    Mel ·
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    I'm really curious about your ring and how it looks.
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  • Kyra
    Beginner April 2019
    Kyra ·
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    I get it. Mine picked out the ring and showed me to make sure I liked it even though he plans on replacing it down the line once we are married for awhile. I love the ring he picked out because he got one that he knew I would love and one that is unique for me instead of one you would get at Kay's or Jared. I say stick with the ring and get a nice wedding band that's more you.
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  • K
    Dedicated August 2019
    Kate ·
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    Agree w PP. sounds like the search for your band will fulfill what you are missing at the moment.

    I know a few people who changed or repurposed their first rings. Maybe someday you can change out the E ring in honor of a new baby or an anniversary and have a new story
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  • HayMrsO
    Master October 2018
    HayMrsO ·
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    I think in this day and age, we see all of the social media proposals and think that there has to be some grand production behind it to make it special. I am just so damn happy to be engaged to my best friend, I don't care how he did it.

    I also picked out my own ring. I am so grateful that FH allowed me to do that. I can't imagine him picking it out and not being my style at all. I do have some regret about my ring (totally my fault). We built it together, but I was dead set on wanting diamonds in the "head" or the "basket" and double prongs on each of the four sides of the diamond. They put a temporary one on that had the double prongs and sat really high. I loved it. When the new diamond basket came in, it made the stone sit lower. I noticed it and didn't love it. Then I realized when I got home that the double prongs were gone! It was so shiny and sparkly in the store, I never noticed. I have had it for a month now and am bringing it back to put the other head back on. The double prongs and higher stone placement are more important than the little diamonds in the basket.

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