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Just Said Yes October 2022

Engagement party help!!

Nicole, on January 10, 2020 at 9:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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So, I’m planning my own engagement party due to family issues and I found a place I liked and it’s a great price. So after I made what I thought would be my guest list (close family and friends- both of us have big families and I had the family I’ve met more than twice on there) it was going to fit everyone perfectly as long as no one is added (like I hoped). So, I went ahead and booked considering I wanted to have it in February. Well, I spoke with future MIL and she’s added 20 more family and friends. Which puts my engagement party list at almost 100 😳. I really don’t want to give up the place I have and pay more money for a venue. So I was wondering if it would be ok to have a drop in engagement party?? I’m new to all this wedding stuff and just need advice.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on January 11, 2020 at 7:04 AM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 10, 2020 at 9:20 PM
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What's a drop in engagement party? Maybe mil can help find another venue and explain no room worth the added people.
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Just Said Yes October 2022
Nicole · on January 10, 2020 at 9:26 PM
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A drop in is there’s a time set of the party (11-2) and you can drop in anytime between then. You don’t have to get there at 11. you can drop in at any time between 11-2. Ive already paid for the place so I’m not sure if I can back out.
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Devoted May 2021
Melissa · on January 10, 2020 at 9:56 PM
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I would speak to FH and ask him to explain that the place you booked doesn’t cater to this many people and you’ve already set your engagement list. If she’s not paying she really can’t be upset if she doesn’t get a say.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on January 10, 2020 at 10:29 PM
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Who is paying? If you are then I would kindly tell her that the venue has already been booked and there isn't anymore room for additional guests so you will not be able to accommodate any of the guests she has added. If she is paying then I would tell her that she will need to locate a new venue because your venue cannot accommodate anyone else. Having guests just drop in could be tricky in you plan on serving food because you won't know when to actually serve the meal. For those that are there during that time, then they would get a nice meal, but for those that come later they would get either a cold meal if anything.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on January 10, 2020 at 11:24 PM
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Are all these people going to be invited to the wedding too? By inviting this many to the engagement party you could be getting yourself into a sticky situation with your wedding guest list since it’s pretty rude to invite people to the engagement party and not the wedding.

Is your FMIL paying for any of this? If not, I’d just tell her you wish you could invite everyone on her list but there just isn’t enough space, and maybe if there ends up being more room (when/if some people decline the invitation) you can add some of her guests.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on January 10, 2020 at 11:24 PM
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^but again, don’t add any of her guests who you don’t intend to invite to the wedding! Once you invite someone to the engagement party you’re basically locked in to inviting them to the wedding.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 11, 2020 at 7:04 AM
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Look at the terms in the contract. If not tell your mil there's not much room with these people and maybe let her know that you cannot invite anymore.
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