Engagement party etiquette

Engagement parties aren't traditionally gift giving events. It's becoming more common to give a small gift; a bottle of wine or champagne, a ring dish, a household item customized with their new name. Gifts definitely aren't a necessity at engagement parties.

I agree with Caytlyn, I probably wouldn't gift cash or anything big for an engagement party...because it's a party to celebrate, not a shower.

I've never been to an engagement party. Although, I have given small gifts, like ring dishes, wine, etc when friends get engaged. As for the wedding, my husband and I usually try to cover our plate and then some. The majority of our guests at our wedding gave 75 to 250 per person. Our plates cost 110 per person. Some gave much more and 2 guests gifted nothing. We ended up making all of our money back and then some. Until I came on here, I never heard of people giving physical gifts for weddings, but apparently certain regions/cultures do.

In my experience engagement parties are not 1. Hosted by the couple 2. Gift or cash giving occasions

We had a small engagement parties with our friends in Boston and we got a bottle of wine, a bottle of tequila, and some custom Christmas ornaments because I got engaged near Christmas

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In this case this party as hosted by the couple and it was at a restaurant, not just a small get together with some friends.

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Thanks for the info! this particular party was thrown by the couple at a restaurant with a 4 course meal. its not much different from a wedding party. i wonder if i called it an engagement shower instead of an engagement party if the responses would be different

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That's just semantics; what if i said this was an engagement shower instead of an engagement party?

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Interesting, thanks for your insight. i guess it must be a cultural thing for me to cover my plate

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Engagement showers aren't a thing. I wouldn't know what to bring since I'd never heard of it before and the couple wouldn't likely have a registry immediately after getting engaged. I would probably decline the invitation, especially if the couple was hosting. If it was for a very close friend or one of my siblings, I may attend, but would never give cash as a gift at a shower.

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Thanks for your insight

View Quoted Comment Yeah I was able to gather that info from the post. I’ve never been to an engagement party where a couple hosted something to honor themselves. I guess it’s not something done in my social circles. I still wouldn’t have brought cash to any engagement party because they aren’t gift giving occasions. If you did, that’s great. I just don’t think it’s wrong that the other couple only gave what they could. As a couple I would feel awful knowing someone declined the invite or gifted outside of their means to just to fulfill a vague obligation.

I try to "cover my plate" for weddings, but not typically for engagement parties. We've never been to a full sit down engagement party, just more casual ones anyway. So we gift things like champagne, a $50 local restaurant gift card, ring dish, picture frame, etc. Most our guests didn't "cover their plate" and a typical gift was $100 per household or per couple, which we were totally fine with.

My parents hosted a full blow engagement party at a restaurant for us. No way would I expect people to "cover their plate". An engagement party is not a gift giving event.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this!

Besides engagement parties not being gift giving events, people should only be planning parties they can afford to host instead of expecting to make back the money spent (or a profit) in gifts. Expecting people to "cover their plates" seems more like a price of admission than a gift.

Are they also going to be expecting gifts at a bridal shower and the wedding on top of the engagement party?

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I never said the hosts expected gifts. i had a private conversation with my friend and asked her if she broke even out of curiosity. i posted this just to get some feedback on what people feel is proper gift giving etiquette for parties. i do not know if she is having a bridal shower. i mentioned the covering the plates because i was always taught to never go to a party (birthday, engagement, wedding, etc) empty handed.

We didn't have an engagement party and I've never been to one so I can't speak to etiquette for them, but where I'm from, its proper etiquette to "cover your plate" for the wedding. So a couple attending a wedding would give $200-$300 (single person $100-$150) in a card to the bride and groom. For bridal showers it depends on the relationship - closer family and friends give more, but it seems that $50-$100 give or take is the norm. From what I hear from other brides on this site, there are other cultures and regions that do not follow this etiquette though

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I thought this would be the same etiquette for any party you are invited to.
thanks for your input