Engaged

Awe, im sorry. This happened to me sort of. Like, im mid way through planning and weve known we were getting married forever now, but im like can you just officially propose already, so I can tell people what our date is? We finally talked about it and he hadnt yet because he thought it was silly, so after he knew it was important to me, he said he would this year.
Have you tried just talking to him, and being honest. Like, " hay whats the reason you wont propose? It makes me feel unloved and un thought of. Are we doing this for us, or the baby? " maybe it has nothing to do with his feelings about you, and more to do with that hes shy/embarrassed of getting down on one knee and doing the thing. It is kind of obnoxious when you think about it; making some grand gesture adjacent to bowing or something. It can be weird/unnatural .

My FH is very shy/awkward, and he is also a stickler for tradition. Meaning he wanted to propose before we began telling everyone, and he wanted to have the ring that we had to have resized first. When everything was finally ready, he took me to dinner where we had our first official date, then he asked me outside. It wasn't a huge production; it was very sweet and small.


That being said, I think some guys just don't understand the importance of the ceremony. If it's really bothering you, bring it up again and say you wouldn't mind even if it was something small. In his guy brain though, he gave you the ring, you're planning the wedding. Is he part of the planning/involved? Does he still shower you with affection? In his brain, he might be doing everything right but not realize that the not asking is bothering you.

Being engaged doesn't require a grand proposal. You're two consenting adults who decided to get married and have started planning a wedding. Congratulations, you're engaged. You're allowed to be disappointed that you didn't have that moment since it's something that you wanted, but it's 2020 and men aren't required to get down on one knee and ask for your hand in marriage. If a proposal is important to you, you can propose to him.

Make sure he knows how incredibly important this is to you, If he still refused I would be inclined to call things off. Marriage and relationships are a lot of things, but they must include honor and respect. My future hubby is my ride or die, and the one person I can 100% count on to have my back (even when he doesn’t get me). Good luck!

I’m so sorry you are missing an experience that is important to you. It sounds like you have already discussed the importance of this with him, and he is still saying he is not going to do it. Has he given a reason why?

Hi Anna,
I think I would feel the same way, all of us dream of our wedding day and being proposed to, I think you're right in wanting that!

If you are in agreement that you want to get married then you are engaged. My "proposal" went like this:
Me: I want to get married!
Him: Ok, let's do it!
If you want a big proposal and he doesn't want to do it, why not plan a big proposal for him?

My proposal wasn’t special but I have a beautiful ring and now we’re married. My husband really wanted to get married but was nervous and not really a man of words, but he loves being with me and being married. I wouldn’t keep dwelling on it.

How did he give you the ring? There was obviously some type of discussion that said hey let's do this thing together since you are planning. It may have not been the theatrical proposal but not all are. I found my ring in my mixer and apparently it had been there for a week. My response was "what the f**k is this?" I was in a cooking mode and didnt understand why there was stuff in my mixing bowl. He came into the kitchen and asked me in his own way. It was theatrical but it was him and it worked.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. My proposal was us talking about our goals for the next 5 years and deciding marriage should be part of it. Then next day, we told our parents we were engaged. No ring. No grand proposal. Just a conversation that led to a decision. I didn't feel any less engaged. However, he did get me a ring later. Funny enough, people really like our engagement story because it is us. Your engagement story is your engagement story. Regardless of if he went down on one knee or formally asked, there was a mutual understanding between you two that you would get married. That's an engagement.