Engaged and moving out of state

I suggest you tell them once you're 100% sure you're doing it and politely tell them it was a mutual agreement between your FH and you and that they need to respect your decisions

I have always been extremely close to my family. Many years ago, a job opportunity came up for my husband that required us to move cross-country; at the time we'd been married a year. Honestly? It was an incredible experience for us, and there were many blessings for us in spending some of the early years of our marriage on our own. After about 7 years we had an opportunity to move back "home" with our then 1-yr old daughter as the result of another job transfer opportunity. If it's a good opportunity that will allow you individually and together to try new things and achieve important career/relational/financial goals, I'd say go for it! Good luck!

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I agree with this!

This job opportunity sounds like something big for your FH, that will help him not only with this career, but also create an opportunity to financially help as well (even if you don't need it!). Sit down together and weigh the pros and cons and come to a mutual decision. After that, tell your parents. If they try to convince you both to stay, just politely tell them that you both think this decision is what's best for you both as a unit. Have one another's backs!

We got engaged November 2019 and moved from Ohio to Texas two days later (everyone knew the move was coming though). We ended up planning the wedding for November 2021 because we felt it would be too hard to plan for 2020 after moving but likely that won't be a big issue for you given that you'll be a lot closer. All our family were very supportive of our move (though our moms cried). It's not been that hard to plan the wedding from a distance, the only things we went back home for were to visit venues, try caterers and cake. Everything else we've done through zoom or email. And it sounds like you've checked some of the big boxes already. It's definitely doable so I wouldn't let the wedding stop you from making a move if you're both on board and that's what's best for your family. Just make sure you make the decision together before you tell anyone else so that you're united.

Definitely do what is best for to fiancé and yourself, even if your parents don't agree. Congratulations on his new offer 🥳🥳

If you know or think you are sure about the move, go for it! Don't make it sound like it is up in the air when you tell your parents, as that will leave room for them to add their opinions.


As for the wedding, I would still plan it in NJ, especially if that is where all your friends and family are!
We moved from GA to OK in summer of 2020, got engaged November 2020, and are planning our wedding for Dec 2021 still in GA. We haven't made tons of friends here yet, so there isn't any reason we would want it in Ohio. It will also be less travelling for our friends and family to keep it near our hometowns, and I am definitely looking foward to having everything already planned so we can just show up for the wedding!

When couples make the adult decision to get married, it’s the first of many life decisions that the two of you will make together. Therefore, your parents don’t get a say in your marital decisions.