We are having a very small wedding of about 40 guest. It is all mostly family with the exception of 3 of my fiance's co-workers. I only have family to invite and it's just my parents, step parents, grandparents , and half brother(I consider him a full brother). I'm just feeling really down that I don't have any friends to invite. I'm having to plan and do all my DIY projects alone. I don't have anyone other than family to talk about the wedding with. It also doesn't help that I'm nervous about the wedding being so small because my mom and dad don't want to be anywhere near each other and it's the same with my finances parents. Having no friends has never really bothered me before since I'm so introverted. But with the wedding planning it's really making me sad and in some ways I feel a little judged. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any words of encouragement?
An intimate family wedding is not at all unusual. You have every right to hope and assume the parents are capable of stepping up to the ocassion and be civil when necessary. You wouldn’t assign DIY tasks either way.
The bigger issue is the feeliings you’re having about feeling judged and having no friends. That part is worth thinking about and possibly addressing. You may not feel you “need” friends but maybe this is a sign you’d like this to change.
Weddings are about celebrating your union with those closest to you, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing! I actually had the opposite problem - when we made out our guest list of family and friends, it was over 250 people. We both knew we didn't want a monstrous event like that, so we chose to cut our guestlist down to the 40 people closest to us. And we are both so glad we did! There are so many benefits to having a small, intimate wedding - you can easily conversate with all your guests, without having to spend the whole evening going from table to table making small talk with people/thanking them for coming. That sounded so monotonous and dreadful to us, and we were glad to not have to do it (or have a receiving line - yuck!). Since the group was so small, we got lots of fabulous pictures of everyone. And we were able to really splurge and make the experience amazing for everyone, since we didn't have to worry about funding everything for hundreds of people (ie, way better and way more food, top shelf open bar, a welcome party, entertainment, etc.). And I was also able to splurge on flowers, hmua and photographer, because we were saving so much money with the smaller guest list. And because everyone in attendance was our nearest and dearest, we know we will never look back at our wedding photos and say "who was that?"... or see anyone that isn't still in our lives. I know social media in recent years has been portraying weddings as these huge, elaborate events where you're surrounded by tons of friends and lots of extra events (engagement parties, showers, bachelorette trips, etc.), but just remember where that's coming from - the wedding industry, who stands to profit from selling you this vision of what weddings are supposed to be now! Don't buy into the hype! Small, intimate weddings surrounded by family are just as valid as the huge over-the-top affairs, and everything inbetween. Congrats on the engagement and upcoming wedding!
Hello I can relate to how you're feeling, it's always been hard for me to make friends so I've found myself at multiple points in my life alone and wishing I had more friends around me. In terms of the planning and DIY, I'd say maybe try getting your fiancé to help! While DIY'ing with friends is fun, you could make it like fun stay at home date activities to work on things for the wedding with your fiancé instead. Making them more into a date night thing might make it more fun for you both and keeps the focus on both of you, which is what your day is about! Also, it may be hard now, but on the day of your wedding you're going to be surrounded by all of the people who love you and I think you'll find that you won't be thinking about friends, you'll just be celebrating with your family I know family dynamics can be SUPER complicated, but if they really care about you they will put aside there differences for one day because they love YOU and this day is about YOU!
Awww honey I feel you! You m in the same boat lol. FH has all the family and I have family and we know how families can be. I have been saying to myself “I need a best friend so I can bounce ideas with”. Then with guest list friends side being empty I start to feel alone as well.
The wedding can be wonderful with family and you should be happy they are there for you. So don't focus on the guest list as an issue.
Sometimes the marriage allows you to make friends via your spouse. It may help to find some social activities. Maybe take social dancing classes with your FH or find other types of classes, especially together. It will help open discussions to say you are getting married soon. Also figure out a club -- form one -- on the idea of making friends. Invite people to that in these social events. Just saying that you can take a few big steps in life all at once.