Eloping with a reception to follow

The party is the part that is expensive. You could have a family friend officiate at your reception and add $0 making it probably less expensive than an elopement. I also considered doing this just because I'm kind of shy, but the cost would have been the same or more and my family would have been sad, so we are getting married quickly at our venue, followed immediately by a reception.

An elopment is a great idea for the right reasons, but if your only reason is to save money, you're going to be disappointed. The ceremony isn't the expensive part of a wedding. Maybe 15% of our budget is going toward the ceremony.

We eloped and now we are planning a big wedding for our family and friends. (I know ppl on here will say it’s a vowel renewal, buttttt since it’s my money and my day, I’ll call it whatever I choose! Lol) Back to the subject, everyone is still making a big deal and they’re very excited about the whole event. So I say go for it!

Like PPs said, the expensive part is the reception (whether it’s immediately after the ceremony or not). I probably wouldnt consider eloping then having a traditional reception a way to save money. You could have it at a non-meal time (8-12 or something) and have drinks, appetisers and snacks - that may reduce some cost. Or you could have a very intimate reception/ party since the size of the guest list is the thing that drives up costs the quickest. I’d think about how you want to celebrate, what’s important to you and your FS and then start researching prices in your area before planning the wedding that fits your budget.

Eloping is when you " run away to get married", that is,you do not have any friends and family guest list, except for two people who are required to be witnesses where laws require it. . . You want a small private wedding ceremony, it sounds like. Which is what we did after my FMIL made a mess of our wedding plans. We had 2 family members and 8 other friends each, 2,000 miles from family homes, or the schools we had just graduated from, at a courthouse. . . A reception, versus just a party, is a format you follow. Either you have a receiving line, where all guests pass through and congratulate you it are introduced, and usually parents, maybe bridal party too in the line, maybe clergy. Or, no receiving line, but you either stand or sit in a central place, where everyone comes to do the greetings and intros. Or you visit either during cocktails, or going table to table after the meal, again, greetings and intros. This is why they call it a reception when a new department member, university president, or pastor are given a reception, for example. Meet and greet the guest of honor, every guest . . . There is no reason not to have a reception for a recently married couple, with or without a cos renewal part. Wear the dress, him the tux or suit or whatever, if no vows, then be presented for the first time in company ( which means, to all people assembled here) and husband and wife, with an announcement of the titles and names you are using now, same or changed, they are announced. If no vows, usually folks go right to before dinner toasts, to the future happiness of the couple. . . Where it sometimes gets sticky, is what on theknot is called a "pretty princess day". Where there are bridesmaids all dressed in the same gowns. And groomsmen all alike. Because you are asking them to do the the whole dress up in clothes never worn again. In other words, ok to do it yourself, your choice, at your expense. . But don't ask others to do it. You are already married, the privilege of asking for pre-wedding support and monetary sacrifice has gone. But I have never sensed disapproval or later heard snide comments, if a group of friends had a special honor of flowers, or seats at bride and grooms table with their SO. Do a couples dance. But if you want parents dances with you, follow the traditional format, not the current TV and movie dad. Not vocals, with one whole dance, words about Faddy. Then one whole dance, words about Mom. While everyone sits and watches. Do the more traditional song with words that apply either to you and dad, or him and MOG, or do an instrumental version. And to start with, have MC or DJ announce, after the couples have danced once around the floor ( otherwise known as picture time, ) would people please join them on the dance floor. So you are spotlight dancing a minute or two just the four of you, then 3-4 minutes, getting others started dancing. That is the traditional style for a wedding. And it is a fine line, how many dances guests want to start by watching, after your solo dance, and each with one parent. Twice I have been to separate later receptions, where B and G danced to a special dance, then whole dance B and Daddy, then whole dance G and mom, then one for the B,G and bridal party only ( not with SO) , and by the third one, everyone on the sidelines was talking. Either paying no attention. Or saying, get a life, you've been living together a year, married 3 months, enough of pretending you are single , and just separating from mom and dad or having a separate Wedding party and having all these spotlight dances. Enough. So that is strictly my observation, not any etiquette rule, that if you stick to the traditional, 2nd dance with parents started alone, and rest with guests, then dance with any dances you promised people, but let guests dance too. If you want, later, to put on a show dance, as entertainment, have someone announce it , clear the floor, and do it. Just realize, people are less likely to be kind about excessive time watching pageantry. Different from, you got married an hour ago. But cutting the cake, and feeding each other, which symbolizes taking care or or nurturing each other, that stuff people are happy to see. Have fun with your reception.

An elopement followed by a local reception is common. But as others have said the reception is the expensive part (unless you’re planning a super casual party). Elope because you want a quite intimate ceremony.

As you've seen, the reception is the expensive part of the wedding. Our ceremony cost virtually nothing. We had friends who wanted to do the same thing, they had the small family only ceremony, said they'd have the party and then decided not to because they were already married and the thrill wore off and it did not feel worth it to spend the money. There were a lot of hurt feelings amongst friends because friends were not included in the wedding and were told there would be a chance to celebrate.

I would suggest either eloping or finding a cheaper way to do the whole thing at once. brunch weddings, cake and punch reception not at a meal time...

I plan to do the same thing. Mines will actually be a party to celebrate our love. No vow renewal, no officiant, etc. yes, a reception is the most expensive part, but if you’re actually having a party then it would probably be more affordable. Many venues charge more for wedding events, etc.

We were invited to a reception when a couple we are close to eloped. They chose to host the reception at their home and invited about 40 - 60 people. She wore a white summer dress and asked the guests to wear white as well. It was catered by a local restaurant which provided the plates and utensils. They rented tables, chairs and linens and I think the bride said they spent a total of $2k for everything.

We are planning something like that. Were having a church ceremony, with just family. We're not inviting friends. We are looking at a place where we can hold a small reception after. But what PP said, it's going to come up to close to 2000 dollars. Our guest is 40 (and thats if they all show up).
But that's just an idea. In the end we might just have a ceremony. I do think its too much for just one day. My mom did not like it. She told me people are going to get hurt. I told her it's my day. I have told people how I would want my wedding. So if their shocked I didnt invite them, they obviously weren't listening to me.

View Quoted Comment Couples have no obligation to put on a show so that others will not be disappointed they do not have an event to go to, to see them. If it is not 100% what you want to do, do not do it. It is not a show. Family who think you should put on a wedding just so they can come see it, have things backwards.