Eloping before our Wedding Family Drama. Help!

Honestly I think it may be a little inconsiderate now that they have all booked their accommodations for the cruise w/ the expectation they are witnessing your actual union. I understand it’s your sister, but it’s a little unfair to things that way for one person..especially if it bothers the person you’re actually getting married to.

Is there anyway you can celebrate w/ your sister & those who wouldn’t be able to make it after?

The legal ceremony is your actual ceremony, not the one of the cruise ship. I understand why your FH feels the way he does.

View Quoted Comment This! The one on the cruise ship wouldn't be a wedding ceremony but more like a celebration of marriage or vow renewal.

From the research I did on cruise weddings, the legal portion takes place in embarkation day before the ship sets sail not a year in advance.
I wouldn't make a big deal of the legal ceremony if not everyone is invited and people will feel left out. And I wouldn't keep it secret since they have all booked trips already. If it's not for religious reasons, I wouldn't get married before embarkation day just get married on the ship before it leaves and celebrate with your sister when you get home.

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No actually everyone is clear that this is symbolic and we have to get married before we sail. It is actually most important to my family that we be legally married for religious reasons. All things that I have held back on until my FH and I were ready to get married not just getting legally married to make my family happy. Either way I should be clear that when I say make it a bigger deal for my Sister and her two sons, just the five of us, I mean doing more than a drive thru wedding in Vegas and going to a buffet. I guess since there will be no reception and only the exchanging of rings and the typical civil ceremony where as the cruise would be the exchanging of our own vows and the reception, with the cake cutting and the toast, that is the 'real' wedding for me.

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Technically we can get married at whichever time we decide to get married before the cruise. They told us it had to be at least 30 days before as we are getting married at sea and not in port or on embarkation day. It was my FH idea to do it this year instead of waiting until closer to cruise time. Not to mention the name on the marriage cert has to be the same as my passport and cruise reservation so now I have time to make that change since I am changing my name.

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I guess I don't see it that way because the civil ceremony we will have will be the normal fare. The cruise however will be our heartfelt exchanging of vows that we write to each other, will have the reception with cake cutting, dancing, and food etc... The ceremony with my sister will have none of that.

View Quoted Comment Okay..I got confused..I thought she was getting married on the ship initially.

View Quoted Comment Okay, apologies for misunderstanding. I thought you were saying you initially getting married on the boat. So someone has to get married 1st before a cruise? I’m asking bc I’m ignorant to this.

View Quoted Comment Only if you get married while the ship is cruising. You can’t have a legal ceremony at sea. It was also my FH decision that we would get married at sea instead of in port or on embarkation day.

Sorry just to add it is a Carnival Cruise line requirement as they can’t do legal ceremonies at sea. Not all cruise lines though.

View Quoted Comment So I get where you’re coming from, but technically the ceremony w/ your sister & her children would be the wedding & the cruise more so a celebration ..

Thanks everyone for the opinions. Definitely gives me a different perspective.

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Then you do you. You were going to anyway

You asked I replied. I did research and all th cruise lines I looked into marry you legally the day you on the ship.

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Sorry I was not trying to be catty at all. Although without knowing tone maybe it came across that way. Once we booked our wedding package this is what my wedding coordinator at Carnival told me. So maybe they are special in some way or maybe it has more to do with the fact that I do plan to change my name etc... Either way as I said above it did help me get a different perspective. It was just hard hearing my sister crying on the phone about the whole situation so I was just trying to find a way to make it work for everyone in some way. Thanks again for all your advice on this particular situation.

I think there is nothing wrong with including your sister who can't make it. That is a very nice sentiment. I think it would be nice to take them out to eat afterwards and celebrate.

View Quoted Comment What I mean is the wedding ceremony is where you and your FH sign the marriage license, which is at your legal ceremony before your cruise.