Eloping and having the full wedding next year

This is absolutely the scenario to do a small ceremony now and big wedding later! You've been looking forward to this date for so long! I got married before the big wedding and the only people who had an issue with it were older people whose opinions are outdated and I didn't care about their thoughts anyway.


If I were you I'd let guests know of the postponement, and then after you have your small ceremony send a "change the date"/wedding announcement card that has a picture from your small wedding. Then all guests know you tied the knot which is super exciting, and they have the new date on a card

I can’t see this plan not being supported by your guests. I think it’s a brilliant idea

I'm so sorry this happened to you and I wish you a speedy recovery!! If I were in your shoes, I would do exactly what you are planning. I would not want to wait an extra year to get married. Pending how you feel by 6/25, I think a small wedding/gathering sounds lovely. I'm sure you paid a lot towards the big wedding as well, and I know a lot of places only allow rescheduling, rather than refunds, and I know I wouldn't want to see that money go to waste. I'm sure everyone near and dear to you will understand and support this plan!

So sorry for what happened! But I think that its a great idea to elope and have the wedding later (especially so you can save up more money after all your unexpected bills this year) My friend eloped late last year with their immediate family, but is having their wedding this year in October. From a guest perspective, I don’t think it ruins any of the magic. I see it as a way to celebrate their marriage whether they eloped before or not. It will still be such a special time.

I love all the positivity and support from the previous comments! So I am going to be devils advocate now, just to give you some things to think about to ensure you have the experience you truly want (you definitely deserve it after everything you’ve just been through!)


Although your reasoning behind eloping now and having a celebration in a year completely makes sense and is totally justified, there is always the possibility of a much lower guest turn out when you go this route. A lot of couples chose to do this at the height of the pandemic. And despite their families and friends being supportive when the decision was made, once it was time to actually attend the later celebration, there were a ton of declines. Unfortunately, even when there are events outside your control that lead to the decision, guests will often times not prioritize a vow renewal (which this would be, since you would already be married). People tend to have the mindset of “they are already married, so what’s the point?” or “this isn’t a real wedding”, etc. Harsh, but true. My cousin actually experienced this as well when she and her now husband eloped during the pandemic before he got deployed. All her friends and family were super supportive and assured her they would attend her later celebration. But, less than 1/4 of the guest list actually showed up the following year. I would definitely consider this possibility and determine whether you would be okay with a much smaller turn out to your celebration next year. Another thing to consider is whether you will actually go through with another celebration next year. There have been so many stories here on WW about couples that eloped or had very small ceremonies, with the intention of having the larger celebration later. But, after getting married and moving forward with life, they decided to just not go through with it- they didn’t want to go through the planning process again, or things popped up that made it financially difficult to do so, or they started feeling as though it was a silly waste of time/money to have a big celebration when they were already married, etc. And so many brides have shared that going this route took away the “magic” of the event. I’m definitely not saying these things to deter you from your plans- just want to ensure you’ve considered everything, and will make an educated decision that it is best for you and your fiancé. The last thing you would want to do is regret such a huge, once in a lifetime experience

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This is all really good advice. I know I always appreciate having all available information before making a big decision, so I hope this helps OP with hers. There are no wrong answers, but there are plenty of variables and mitigating factors worth considering.

I agree with Cece, unfortunately people just don't prioritize receptions the same way as weddings. We hear it quite a bit around here with people that got married during restrictions.

That said, I hope you have a speedy recovery and the event of your dreams!

View Quoted Comment Yeah, this is exactly why we are struggling I howl-cried last night about the whole thing because I feel like we just lost out on our experience. Waiting a year period feels like we will lose steam, regardless of whether we elope or not. We figured eloping would at least give us something to look forward to or at least a “win” for now, since this entire thing is so heart breaking. But we are also fearing EXACTLY everything you have described….


I know no one can decide but ourselves but damn. I’m just so depressed about everything I absolutely want the magical wedding and to be announced as husband and wife in front of all of our friends. Every single guest, even those who were “no’s” for the first date, said they’d make it a priority to attend the new date, but obviously we haven’t really decided or announced that we want to elope so not sure if they would change their mind though ……

View Quoted Comment Ugh, my heart really goes out to you. I know exactly where you’re at and what you’re going through. We went through this same thing with the pandemic. I don’t know how many times I weighed and re-weighed the options. It’s torturous. For what it’s worth, we ultimately decided to postpone. Although waiting has been supremely annoying, I will say I do not regret our decision. And tbh, the extra year has allowed me time to change some things, add some things, and save more money. And, surprisingly, FH and I are actually more excited now than we were for our original date! I guess the added anticipation from waiting so long made it even more rewarding.

View Quoted Comment I am exactly the same way! I tend to be super analytical, so I always want as much info and as many perspectives as possible before making a decision. Hopefully OP is able to weigh all the options and come to a happy decision

In this scenario, I think your plan is perfect! You can phrase announcements as, “We’ve recently been reminded how fragile life truly is, and we could not wait any longer to become Mr. and Mrs. With that said, we hope you will be willing to celebrate with us next year when we will both be able to put our dancing shoes on!”

I'm so sorry about your accident!
We did a small wedding ceremony three years ago (today actually) due to some health concerns regarding my mother-in-law while we still planning our bigger one for 2020. Thanks to COVID that was pushed even further back to Sept of 2021.
We were afraid our guests would be so over it by then but, I will tell you, it did not take anything away from our celebration. Everyone was really looking forward to our big wedding and everyone had a blast! It was so worth the wait and everything we dreamed of!There is a lot of negativity out there about this. Everyone's situation is different and not everything can go the way other people thinks it should. You do what is best for you. The people that know and love you will understand and will be happy to celebrate with you whenever you do it.Wishing you a speedy recovery!

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I like the wording! and it makes sense to me

BUT....

In my circle - people are ALWAYS supportive about the big celebration later - and then DO NOT attend since they are already married - but they DO ATTEND the actual wedding . It is a running joke in my family with them. So I would make sure you are o.k. with however that plays out

I would probably go the route you stated and marry now and celebrate later

speedy recovery vibes your way

I am sorry this happened to you. I hope you have a speedy recovery. My mother actually wants me and FH to get married this year and not say anything to anyone. She says we shouldn't be living together without being married. Not sure when she became a prude. We have our venue and vendors all booked for 8/2023.