Taylor
Just Said Yes October 2020

Elopements & Bridal Showers

Taylor, on January 15, 2020 at 11:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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I got engaged in December and have always dreamed of “eloping” on a mountain that is just a couple of hours from my house. If we did this, both of our parents, siblings and grandparents will be there but that will be all. Everyone knows we are engaged but nobody knows we want to elope, everyone is assuming there will be a wedding. I am a super simple person and love the idea of a small guest list with just our immediate family, to make it more meaningful and intimate to us. Also love the idea of getting married with a beautiful mountain top view.
My question is, would it be wrong to still have a bridal shower? We both have huge families and I would love to celebrate this sweet chapter of life with them in every way possible while also still trying to still do things my way.I would also love to keep the “elopement”/intimate ceremony a secret until it is done and surprise our families with “we got married.” Lol. So how do I have a bridal shower but still keep it a secret that we are eloping? Do you think people will get offended if they came to my bridal shower and brought a gift but I didn’t even end up having a “wedding?” I think so deep into everything. Help!! Lol.

8 Comments

  • Neeva
    Super April 2020
    Neeva Online ·
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    Yeah most people will expect a wedding after a bridal shower. If you want to celebrate with everyone, have a reception type event after the wedding.

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  • Taylor
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Ugh. Forgot to add that! I plan on doing a reception type party afterwards with all friends and family!
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Expert November 2020
    Alejandra ·
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    If you’re having a reception for everyone in the end it’s okay, I would think. I do think you should let them know that there won’t be a ceremony for them, just a reception. I just think that’s more polite than springing it on them, even though I know that’s not how you meant it.
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  • Taylor
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I agree, thank you!!
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You don’t. Showers are one of those things that you sacrifice when you choose to elope. You can’t invite someone to a shower when they don’t even know you’re getting married and when they won’t be invited to the wedding.
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  • Nakesha
    Dedicated February 2021
    Nakesha ·
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    It's rude. You want a secret wedding you don't get a bridal shower.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I personally wouldn't bat an eye if you threw your own bridal shower but technically someone else is supposed to throw it for you. Martha Stewart even suggest if no one is saying anything that you can ask someone to host it for you. Technically you shouldn't keep it a secret you should be upfront with what you plan to do. These days is very common that people have a small wedding ceremony for a variety of reasons such as anxiety of a bunch of people looking at them or maybe the venue that they are doing it at is too small to hold everyone and then they have a larger reception afterwards. As long as the people you would invite to the reception afterwards are invited then I think it's okay to invite them to the bridal shower. Don't let anyone tell you that if you choose to elope you don't have the right to have any pre-wedding events. Some people may get offended but some people will understand and want to celebrate you. Pretty much all the people in my friend Circle understand what I'm doing and they are just happy to celebrate my upcoming day. Also just an idea and this is my personal opinion any couple that is ready to get married is ready to fund their own home needs so maybe just have a bridal brunch and let guests know that they don't have to bring you a gift rather you just want them there to celebrate and have a good time. That way in my opinion I feel people are less likely to get offended because you're just inviting him to celebrate but you're not looking for gifts. Also you can have a bridal shower and you don't have to invite everyone that you would invite to the reception either but again I would still go ahead and do invitations and you can look for ideas on Pinterest for Etsy and you basically are letting people know that you are going to have a small intimate ceremony but the day are invited to the larger reception party.
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  • Sherry
    Rockstar September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    I would be a little put off if I was invited to a bridal shower and found out they were eloping. Even with a reception later on, that is still not a wedding, it's a party.

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