Elopement with engagement party??

Well... It depends on your friend circle. My maid of Honor's hosting a bridal brunch in a couple of weeks and I'm helping her pay for it and basically my future husband sounds just like yours. Only she and her husband and my brother are invited to our ceremony. So instead of a bridal shower because I also want to just to celebrate with my friends and my friends have told me they understand our situation and they don't care if they're just happy to celebrate my upcoming day because they value our friendship so I'm doing that kind of event but I don't have a registry and I'm not asking for a gift. If anything it's kind of like a themed party where we are giving people food and drinks both alcoholic and non and giving them gifts. Some ladies on here will say it's tacky, I have read that it's okay for the couple to throw their own engagement party but I would just stay as long as you don't request gifts I don't see why not. If anyone finds that offensive then they don't have to come. I would just maybe state in the invitation that you two want to have a private intimate ceremony but you would still like to celebrate with good friends and family so please join us for a party. Although there are situations where a couple will have an intimate ceremony then have a larger reception afterwards so to me whether you have an engagement party or a large reception doesn't make a difference. Would he be okay with an engagement party? With the compromise maybe be you to have a very intimate wedding ceremony followed by a larger reception party?

I would first find out why your FH doesn't want a reception. Is it because of COVID, because he want an intimate ceremony, or to save money? There are many ways for you to meet him half way and keep some of the tradition wedding that you want. Whatever you decide it's you and your FH's day. Don't worry about offending people.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the input. He Definitely doesn't want a reception. So Im thinking he may go for a casual get together “engagement party” so I can have that celebration I want to..

If there is no wedding open to guests, there is no reason to be offended by a party you throw, that asks for no gifts. It's a rite of passage, have a party, as you might to celebrate finishing a degree, or buying a house, or a big promotion. You are getting married, and may celebrate, even if not inviting anybody to the ceremony or having a post ceremony reception. Wrong would be an engagement party, then inviting some to the wedding in a few months, and not others. Or asking for gifts for yourselves.

I think it could very easily come off as rude if you have an engagement party and none of your guests will then be invited to your wedding. If I was a guest at your engagement party, I would definitely expect an invite to the wedding.

I don’t see a problem with it!

View Quoted Comment Even if we say from the start, we are eloping?

View Quoted Comment I would you have to be very clear that you there won't be a large wedding and that just the two of you will be going and getting married on your own. But even then I still think you could have some guests that are going to be disappointed that they were invited to a pre-wedding event, but not the actual wedding especially if you are expecting gifts at your engagement party.

View Quoted Comment I don't think it's a bad idea. I mean sucks when the fh doesn't want any kind of wedding celebration but you need to compromise lol.

View Quoted Comment I think as long as you make it clear your fine. I did that with my bridal brunch and my friends knew from jump we were not having a big wedding. It's a party. I am helping my MOH fund and not asking for gifts. My friends have said from the get go they're happy to celebrate me bc they're my friends and they understand what we choose to do. If anyone finds that rude they don't have to come. It depends on your friends and my MOH stated that we're having am intimate ceremony but I just want to celebrate with my good friends. I think like a pp said and one of my friends whose opinion I asked about what I am doing said she'd only be offended if she were not invited to my wedding. but some people were. I don't think throwing some sort of celebration where you don't request gifts is fine. I see parties as your feeding people for free and having a good time lol.

Engagement parties are traditionally no gift parties, which helps.