Elopement vs immediate family

This is your choice, not hers. We do plenty of very small weddings (under 20) and my officiants love them.

They'll live. Very small guests lists have a way of making sense......

Remember that this is YOUR day, NOT your mother's. They will be your memories to last your lifetime so follow your heart and do what makes you happy.

Eye opening comments. I love the wedding and not the marriage aspect. Either choice will be your choice but even if you keep it as is to simplify and focus on relationship and family.

To me, cutting grandparents seems harsh. I can certainly understand wanting to keep it small and not having aunts, uncles and cousins though. Depends what type of wedding you want. Be flattered that these people want to celebrate your marriage and it might feel less about just a wedding that way

I'm just at a point where I am so tired of wedding planning and being upset during this whole process and feeling like I'm just doing it for other people. I don't want to exclude grandparents either but my mom would be insistent that her brother come, and his wife, and then it's all the other uncles and aunts obviously and then we are back to what we have now.

I even suggested to FH tonight that we just elope and don't tell anyone so I can have what I want and everyone else can have what they want in August. I know that's a really immature thing to do, and really messed up to do to our guests. I think that's how upset i am is how little I even care about it anymore.

I agree with everyone else who definitely says it's your choice! Someone once told me that the arguments we have with our family members while we're doing wedding planning is a sign that we're gradually moving away from our family and towards our future spouse so that we can be the team that makes decisions together and we don't have to continue to turn to our family for opinions. That said, small weddings can be awesome and I don't think anyone doesn't understand why someone might want to have one these days, especially given the cost! If you have a small wedding, there's always room in the first year of being married to throw random small parties at local restaurants or bars or parks as sort of mini celebrations that don't have to become big fancy receptions. People will be happy to celebrate you but most importantly it should be exactly the way your heart desires and your spouses.

I wanted immediate family only and got roped into doubling my guest list. There were 29 guests. It honestly was not more cost-effective I still had to deal with all the same vendors as everybody else but it was more efficient because I had significantly fewer invitations to send out significantly fewer RSVPs to chase down and significantly fewer thank you cards to write which was amazing the event itself was beautiful and f****** awesome because it was a little bit smaller but still felt like an actual party because we had a few more people.

Remember this isn't necessarily about her- people's feelings will always get hurt around weddings either Cousin Vinnie's so-and-so's Aunt didn't get invited or oh my gosh why did you invite her and not her people's feelings always get her ultimately have to do what's best for you.