Elopement thoughts & wedding stress

We did elope for many reasons and I feel like wedding planning is much nicer because of this. It is much less stress now because we don't care if people are unhappy about how we decided to do things at our big wedding, we are legally already married. Just less pressure, I'm still kinda stressing because I want to make a good imoression, but it feels less like I have to meet everyone's wishes. I can do what I want for the big wedding celebration.

Same exact boat!! We originally wanted to get married in 2019 and my mom had then said she would pay for things if we moved it up to 2018. So here we are, also getting married in 2018. We’re inviting almost 200 people and it really hit me last night that we’re very close to August and time is going to fly and there’s still a lot to do!! Not to mention I work two jobs and am taking graduate classes...AH. And FH and I just had an argument about the cake. I feel like it’s become so much more about the wedding than the marriage itself. All I want is to be married and live the rest of my life with FH! I feel like life almost stops during the planning phase lol. I wish every day that we had just eloped and not had to deal with any of this nonsense!!

I'm in a similar situation as PP, we're having an immediate family only destination wedding in August and a reception party in October. For our ceremony we got an elopement package and I really haven't had to do much (the planner im using in Colorado is amazing) and there's a lot less pressure for the reception. If some goes wrong, oh well! In our case we aren't saving a ton of money with all the travel, but we definitely aren't spending more than we would have on a traditional wedding at home.

We eloped and it was perfect. No one could tell us how to do it. No drama before, during or after... we’re having a celebration of marriage party in the summer. We’re planning everything. Bro in law is a chef and SIL bakes cakes... the other sister is hosting at her house. No drama since the deed is done

First of all my FH and I are the same age and have the same guest size! Honestly I'm not stressed but we are only paying for half or a little more for the wedding. Also I am thinking of just making our wedding what we want and I am not that concerned about others opinions. As long as they have a good time, that is all I care about. I dont know if this helps but just do what you want within budget, have a good time with family and friends, andit will all be fine. Also I am trying to stay away from drama like having only one bridesmaid and staying away from my future mother and law and her comments (that is most of my stress).

We are having a private ceremony and a big reception with everyone else. It fits us!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!! yes we are doing what we can within budget, and he has 3 groomsmen, while I have 2 bridesmaids lol. I’m sure everything will work out in the end, but sheesh is it stressful now lol

I was fine until I hit the 30 day mark, now i feel like i should have just eloped

FH and I originally wanted a small intimate wedding where the only guests would be basically everyone that's in our bridal party right now, our parents, and siblings. But his parents said it was out of the question and wanted a big wedding so their "friends" and family wouldn't talk bad about them. So now we're stuck with this extravagant wedding with almost 200 guests where probably 60% of them don't even care about the groom and I. They're only there for FH's parents. It's been a very frustrating time with lots of drama and culture clashing. I fantasize about a courthouse wedding everyday.

View Quoted Comment Are you guys having the ceremony as well or just a reception?

View Quoted Comment We are having a small ceremony because we only did a ring exchange at our elopement.

I’m feeling this way. My FH is super excited for the whole wedding though, so he keeps me on track more than anything. Of the 130 people invited only around 90 are coming which isn’t bad! Though I have had quite a few no’s that I really wish were yes’s.

We are nearly the same age and everything! I always wanted a full wedding and everything, but I’m starting to think I’m just a little too old for it now. We also already have a child together, so I’ve had many people tell me I don’t need a wedding now.

All of my childhood friends and even college friends are long gone. Moved away and we just aren’t as close anymore. I never made more than three or four good friends here in my adult life, so at this point the large party is starting to feel unnecessary. But I just keep trying to imagine how happy my FH and I will be on that day and how it shouldn’t be too stressful since it will be a little smaller than most weddings.

I'm now 11 days out from my wedding day, and I still think if I could go back I'd try harder to talk FH into eloping. Or having an intimate ceremony with a dozen people.

It is unfortunate that tou are feeling such stress. From all of the accounts I have read, it is worth all of the headache in the end. I hope you find support to help relieve some of the frustration you are feeling, and that you are able to look forward to a spectacular wedding!

Honestly wedding planning has had a few stressful moments but I don’t think it’s too bad. I am very excited for our day and never had a serious thought about elopement.

Me too! My FH and I both have huge families so our guest list is going to be almost 200. I wanted to elope or have a destination wedding, but with older grandparents and a TON of immediate family we couldn't.

I was a wedding photographer so I knew for a long time that I wanted nothing to do with big weddings. The first time I got married we did it 2.5 weeks after he proposed. It was a Tuesday. My mom's friend made my dress and my inlaws at the time booked a large room for the family to all eat dinner together at a nice restaurant after having a simple UU ceremony. There was only close family and 1 friend each. No stress.

This time I knew I also did not want the big wedding. FH was also previously married and had a really small thing like I did. We are having a DW with 35ish people. It's bigger than we had planned but still much less stressful. The location includes the ceremony and reception and all we have to do is pick cake flavors, flowers and food. They take care of everything else so there's no stress there. It's great. I also learned from being a wedding vendor to really stand my ground early when people chimed in with their opinions of how my wedding should go. It helps a ton.

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We did this as well! We got legally married in February and are having the "big wedding" in Oct. It's only 35ish people so it's not big but we'll have a ceremony and reception and I have my dream dress. I feel so less stressed lol

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I hate when people say stuff like that! Both of us are previously married so my mom's first reaction was that we didn't need a wedding wedding since we'd both been there and done that. Ironically she's now the one trying to push the most wedding type of stuff on me. I wish I could have recorded her saying that this time we could do more low key and not so wedding because this time is a bit more low key lol. I have a much nicer dress this time but I'll have converse and a tiara instead of a veil.

H and I almost cancelled our wedding and we ended up not because of the money we would lose. We ended up having a really good time at our wedding but we still wish we had eloped. If you are far enough out and that is what you truly want then I say go for it. If you are going to forever ask yourself what if you had the wedding you were planning than don't elope. Figure out what you really want and what is worth it. For us it wasn't worth the money or the damage that was done to my relationship with H's family, even though I kept bending to make them happy, I couldn't do enough for them. We have already decided to renew our vows around 10 years with just our children present to have the day we really wanted without the stress of family involvement.