Elopement then another celebration?

I know a lot of people do this but it seems so anti climatic to me.

Your post-elopement ceremony will be a vow renewal. Are you OK with that?

I basically "eloped" in October, with just our daughters and my parents there. We announced the marriage, everyone knew we got married. Then we planned a "marriage celebration" party in April, and invited everyone we wanted to. Didn't have a ceremony, and it had a relaxed informal wedding reception feel to it. I wore the pretty dress, had cake, etc. We didn't care too much about ceremonies or traditions, just simply celebrating our marriage with those we loved. Everyone was very supportive and enjoyed it.

I see how it can be anticlimactic but it's also for personal reasons too. And I personally don't see anything wrong with the post elopement ceremony being a vow renewal... just a bit odd it would be occurring within a few months after the eloping

It's not odd Sonja you can only be married one time. Refer to this party as a celebration of love if vow renewal doesn't sit right.

Michelle, this is honestly kind of the whole idea I had. It's ironic because we would be getting "eloped" around mid October and then a "celebration" in or around May.... My fear is that we might regret it or the other guests who were not there at the "elopement" are offended and decide not to show at the "reception/ceremony" they've been invited to.

I guess I don't see the point of an elopement followed by a celebration. If there are people you want to celebrate with, then have a wedding ceremony and a small reception with those people. If you truly just want it to be you and FH, then elope and be done with it.

Thank you Svetlana! But I'm also thinking we will just dress casually rather than in all wedding attire, and it would be in our future backyard or somewhere nice, like a mini get together rather than a huge renewal and typical wedding celebration but a celebration of already being together... like a first celebration as a married couple... if it makes sense

Sonja - I get you. We weren't honestly concerned about offending people. We knew 90%+ of people we'd invite would be supportive, and if others didn't like it, well, tough titty. LOL. It's our marriage, our celebration. We wanted to do it how it felt right for us.

I have to say - good and bad things about this setup. It was kind of weird to spread it out... like I was planning a 'wedding' after already being married... but then again it was kind of cool to celebrate it twice.

I see where you're coming from Leelee, and I thank you for giving your opinion. It's just that I want a private wedding but then a reception I guess with all the people who were originally supposed to be there at the wedding...

Well, this would work best if you had a truly private elopement followed by a party to celebrate it. Then no-one needs to be offended at not attending the wedding. This has been done here quite a few times.

Michelle, you have given me much more confidence to this approach, would you mind sharing any pros and cons about your experience?

Kate, thank you for your idea, it will be kept in consideration and I like the way you put it as "production"

Jacks, could you please elaborate on your comment? I think I have an idea of what you mean but not quite.

OP, just have a family BBQ then. You say future backyard, if you are moving you can do a party to show off your new home and also have it be your first party thrown as a married couple.

I really don't see the point here.. Either elope and have a celebration of marriage (within a few weeks or months, not over 6 months later - thats silly IMO)

or wait and have a small ceremony with your small reception.

You only get one ceremony BTW.

Oh, I'm glad! And sure! Lemme think...

Pros - we wanted a casual, fun celebration. And that's what we got. Like I said, we didn't care about a lot of ceremony or standard traditions, so we just included the ones we liked, excluded the ones we didn't. We saved a lot of moula by having a small, casual affair. I was less stressed out the way we did it.

Cons - got a couple confused, raised-eyebrows when explaining what we were doing, lol. Mostly DH's parents - who were the reason we wanted to elope in the first place. LOL. "So, it's just a dinner, then?" It did feel slightly anti-climatic without the big celebration all at once... but we didn't want all the stress and drama that went with that kind of thing. So this worked better for us.

Ultimately I'm glad we did it this way. It was how we wanted it to go.

I'll try to think of anything else I can add!

Why do you want to get married now? I do a LOT of ceremonies for people who are already married, and I tell them to call it anything they want depending on who knows and who doesn't. That being said, there is usually a compelling reason to do an elopement; health insurance, visas...all kinds of things. I'm easy on this, but I don't really understand why you would do this.

Uninvited people don't get as offended as anyone getting married thinks. And to do a tiny wedding now and then a little wedding later sounds really counter-productive.

Just decide to do one thing and stick with it. Or elope with your witnesses only, go out to lunch an have a party later.

In this situation I'm going with a small backyard ceremony, intimate & casual.