Elopement Etiquette?

Hi everyone! Been a long time since I've been on here. I truthfully haven't though about planning or anything in a while, BUT my FH and I just decided to nix the idea of a traditional wedding, and we are now choosing to elope! We haven't told anyone yet because we really don't know how to go about an elopement in terms of who we want to be there.

We would love for our immediate families to come. There's only 4 people in my FH's immediate family, but here's where the problem comes in. There's 24 people in my immediate family. This includes parents, siblings, BILs, SIL, and nieces and nephews. I know ILs and kids don't need to be invited, but the ILs have been part of the family for so long that I wouldn't feel right not inviting them, and I love my nieces and nephews too much to say no kids as well. I also don't know if they would even be able to find someone to babysit since half of my family lives across the country.

So now I'm faced with trying to invite 30 people to an elopement (which is hardly an elopement at that point), just inviting parents and excluding people who are really important to me, or just going in alone just the two of us.

Another factor that further complicates things is the fact that my mom and my dad are divorced, have been since I was 2, and they absolutely HATE each other. I live in Arizona with my dad and stepmom, and my mom lives in Ohio with the majority of my siblings, who also are not particularly fond of my dad. I just feel like the setting is so small, and getting dinner after would likely mean that one side of the family wouldn't come. and at that point, would it even be worth it to have my family from Ohio come out for the ceremony?

I thought eloping would be less stressful, but I guess nothing is easy when you have a large family. I just don't know what to do or how I would go about telling my family that they can't come. We plan to have a reception party at a later date regardless for the extended family. I just couldn't picture not having my siblings at the actual ceremony. Sorry for the novel. I'm just incredibly stuck.