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Just Said Yes June 2016

Elopement Etiquette Question

Grace, on April 14, 2016 at 10:32 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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My Fiance and I were planning on having a large wedding with all the fixings, but it got way too stressful starting with narrowing down the guest list and we have decided to elope while we are on vacation this June. The problem is, we have been engaged for 5 months, and there are about 10 of my future mother in laws best friends who are wanting to throw us a big engagement party in June. I am not sure what to do because we weren't going to tell anyone about our plan to elope, but I think it would be rude to let someone host an engagement party before or after us eloping without anyone knowing our plan. I think people would be offended, but I'm not sure of the etiquette with this situation. They are wanting a guest list for the engagement party and wanting us to give them a date so they can start planning, and IDK what to do!! Should we tell them a later date for after we are already married or should we tell them we don't want a party at all?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by taneisha23, on April 14, 2016 at 11:37 AM

Master October 2016
Katie · on April 14, 2016 at 11:02 AM
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I would just tell them that you appreciate the offer but as of right now you're not wanting an engagement party. Be thankful and gracious but stand firm. It would be poor etiquette for the engagement party then eloping.
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Super September 2016
MrsHulet · on April 14, 2016 at 11:03 AM
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We did the same thing. We started planning a large wedding and it became so overwhelming and stressful as everyone had their opinions, so we're eloping in September. Why don't you tell them and maybe consider the engagement party as a reception? I think it would be unkind to let them throw the engagement party and assume they'll be invited for a wedding to follow. We were met with an array of emotions telling people our plans, but eventually everyone is happy for us. I hope the same for you and good luck!
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Super October 2015
None · on April 14, 2016 at 11:05 AM
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What Katie said.

Politely decline. It sounds like you want something truly private (I love it!). There is nothing wrong with declining politely, especially seeing as you didn't want to deal with the stress of all the people to begin with.
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on April 14, 2016 at 11:33 AM
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Love @Katie's response! "Gracious but firm"
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Devoted September 2016
taneisha23 · on April 14, 2016 at 11:37 AM
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Definitely agree with Katie and Future Mrs. Hulet (engagement party as a reception idea).
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