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Just Said Yes August 2018

Elopement disappointment

Kelly, on June 23, 2018 at 10:23 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
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My fiance and i have been together for decades. Raised three children to adulthood. Never married because...well life happened. Two years ago we became formally engaged and our friends and family were like ok...its as though you are married already... some actually thought we were and just weren't invited to the wedding. So with such a lukewarm so what response we have decided to elope. Upon this info getting out suddenly everyone is up in arms that we aren't having a big wedding. We just paid for our 27 yr old daughters formal wedding and as we are nearing 50 ourselves just don't have any interest in paying for that for ourselves. I'm shocked by the reactions we are getting considering the response to our engagement. How can I console these disappointed family members?

12 Comments

Latest activity by K&M, on July 2, 2018 at 12:22 AM
  • Sarah
    Devoted September 2018
    Sarah ·
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    I say its y'alls decision and it kinda sounds like they may be the type of people you just can't please
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  • Mcellist
    Super March 2019
    Mcellist ·
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    Interesting response. I'd just focus on you, your fiancé & your elopement. They will get over it, I'm sure. That's a bummer that they weren't at least a little bit more respectful of your decision.
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  • Jaycie
    Expert March 2019
    Jaycie ·
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    I would focus on planning a day best suited for you and your fiancé. Sorry for the various feedback from friends/family members. Even with ya'll being together so long I would think everyone would respond different and be excited to celebrate a happy couple.
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    Focus on what you want. I can see how it would be surprising to them seeing as you just paid for a locally wedding they prob assumed you would do something celebratory too even if it was a lovely summer bbq. Keep in mind that there is an inbetween between elope and formal. So if you are only eloping because of their initial reaction take a step back and consider what you really want.
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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2018
    Jessica ·
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    These people dont pay your bills. Focus on whats important: you and your family. Good luck!
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  • L
    Expert May 2018
    LIZ ·
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    Simply tell them it's your day so it's your way! Then smile!! We eloped, but took it one step further and told no one, a side from the few that were there. After, most were so excited that we did. Go for what you two want...
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  • K
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Kelly ·
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    Thank you to everyone that has responded! I appreciate the feedback. At this point I do wish we had told no one prior but didn't think for a second that a single person would be anything but overjoyed that we were actually making it official. We are quiet older folks and have no wish for anything but a great vacation together and a quick I do, no dress no flowers heck maybe not even shoes! , in a fabulous location.
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  • B
    Savvy March 2019
    Brittney ·
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    My mom and step-dad got married at the court house with just my sister and I as well as my moms parents (his parents have passed away) there. We went out for lunch after and the next weekend they threw a big backyard party for everyone to come celebrate. Not sure if this is something that sounds appealing but it was really sweet and worked for them Smiley smile
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  • K
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Kelly ·
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    We considered something similar but wanted something more than a civil ceremony. We didn't want a party/celebration because our families are large and it would inevitably turn in to a big to do which we didn't ever want and quite frankly not one person asked us about wedding plans in the last two years since our engagement. So completely puzzled by the sudden about face of the families.... hmmmmm....
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  • AshleyR
    Master January 2021
    AshleyR ·
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    The only ones that matter are you, your fiancé, and your kids. If you want to elope go for it but definitely invite your children/ spouses.
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  • E
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Esther ·
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    Same. Every time I try to plan one aspect of the wedding something gets in the way and with a destination elopement we still have people getting upset. One thought is to have a private/intimate elopement than have a big reception for everyone after that. Then you get the simple wedding and the guests enjoy the day with you too.

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  • K&M
    Dedicated August 2018
    K&M ·
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    I think people just need time to adjust to new ideas. Sounds like at first they were just confused because they had thought you weren't planning on getting married, but then they spent the last 2 years getting all hyped up for the wedding lol. Most likely in time they'll stop being disappointed and be happy for you about the elopement. People are silly that way haha.

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