Elopement celebration/dinner

@Fall Bride - Your exact plan was to hide the fact that they were getting married and say they were going out for "just drinks". Your reasoning was "their expectations would be lower if they didn't know they were going to a wedding celebration, like they wouldn't be expecting a full meal from you, and would probably be happy with some drinks and maybe a couple of app platters to share." How is that not lying to your guests so they're satisfied with whatever you're willing to pay for?

Fall Bride, I don't believe you because I read your post.

At a surprise party, the guests still don't pay for things. Also, the surprise usually isn't an elaborate rouse to save money.

Side note. Things I'd totally blow off for no reason: going out to drinks. Things I would plan around and would do my best not to miss: a wedding.

So if her guests aren't "happy with some drinks and maybe a couple app platters to share"? Maybe they want more than a few drinks and 2 mozzarella sticks? Your whole suggested plot is to not tell them it's for a wedding specifically so they're happy with how little you're willing to feed them. That's shitty. I don't get how you don't get that.

ETA: Totally okay with a cake and punch, low key, small reception. I even put that in my first post. What I'm not okay with is purposefully deceiving your guests as a trick to spend less money. That's shady as hell. Just tell them about the wedding and hang out for a few hours. But feed them until their fed and don't try to trick them to save a few bucks. That's so rude.

I'm sorry Fall bride. Sneaky and cheap idea.

We're not misinterpreting, Fall Bride. Let it go.

I know this post is in the past, but if anyone else finds this through an online search engine like I did, then you can always host a wedding celebration with home cooked meals such as a big turkey dinner, BBQ, etc. to save costs on food for guests according to a 'per person/plate' basis.

My friend did this, and we paid for ourselves, but this is how our friendship always has been. We have always paid for dinner for ourselves. I know this is in the interest of "poor hosting", but I like to think people are practical. We are going to the courthouse on Friday actually, and my best friend, my parents, my in laws, and mentors, will be there. I asked them if they'd be interested in joining us for dinner at a restaurant. Now expectations are established, that each couple will pay for themselves everyone is aware and they still want to join us. If just us friends went out, we'd be on our own for dinner FH and I would be paying for ourselves. This is not our reception, this is would you like to come out to dinner with us and enjoy our company? Absolutely NO different than going out for a meal and paying your own way. I wouldn't expect my friends to pay for me, when we just went out to dinner together, and that is how everyone is looking at it, they're not upset, they're not hurt, they don't care. For us this is not a hosted event. It's also like 3 people who aren't family. We want them to spend time with us, but I can afford a $50 meal for FH and myself, not a $300 meal for 9 people at this time . Our reception is in October with the big thing, where we are hosting 150 people with open bar, food, dancing, photobooth and all that jazz.

View Quoted Comment Who care who ever comes come and if they want to celebrate with you you shouldn’t h r to pay so they can enjoy you being married 🤷🏻‍♀️ That is my opinion I’m getting enloped and who ever comes out to eat and drink will pay for themselves the point of this was to save money