Elopement & Bridal Shower?

A friend did this. It was upsetting to most. It was her bff that did it for her. The issue was A LOT of people got upset because she only invited a select group of people and people didn't even know they were eloping. There were tons of hurt feelings among her friends.

Save the hastle, don't do it. If you Mom wants to do it, make it family only.

You don't invite someone to a shower who isn't invited to the wedding.

No guests at the wedding = no shower.

No side eye, more like a stink eye

Dupe

Personally, I'd side eye it.

From my understanding this wouldn't be acceptable since guests at wedding events need to be invited to the wedding ceremony/reception. So an elopement would mean no bridal shower.

Nope. Don't have a shower and invite people that are not invited to the wedding. Once you send your announcements, you might get a few gifts, but don't expect anything.

OMG I would side eye you so hard, my eyes would strain.

Hah, thanks for the input. I felt uncomfortable with the idea, so I figured I would see how everyone else felt. I dont expect to receive anything from the announcements and I knew that I would be giving up any possible bach/shower with an elopement, im okay with it!

The elopement is still a wedding. Only guests invited to the wedding should be invited to any other wedding related events anyone would plan. I vote 'no' on the shower.

Let your mom throw you an awesome baby shower someday (if you plan to have children). Maybe that'll make her happy in lieu of the bridal shower!

@Wed18 is really good at throwing baby showers

No I don't like that. If they aren't invited to the wedding I don't think they should be invited to come bring you a present

I'd side eye it. Surprise we're married, so send us a gift.

@Constance- I do agree that a shower in this aspect isn't appropriate, but I know my mom didn't mean for it to come across the way you're stating it.

I do get where my mother is coming from. She is assuming the party next summer will take place of a "reception" that would normally occur after a ceremony, which I partly understand her thoughts, but still its not proper wedding etiquette.

ETA: words

@Carrie- Yeah I think that would be appropriate too. I am going to ask her if she wants to host, she could help with the "party" we have next summer to celebrate the marriage.

OP - No insult intended and I get it. But, intent and perception are very different things.

I'm sure she's just thinking that she wants her daughter to have the "bridal" experience and, let's be honest, a lot of moms love the attention they get from being MOB. Her intentions are good, but perhaps misplaced on this one.

ETA: grammar

This is frowned upon. It wouldn't make sense to have a shower. It comes off as gift grabby Bc you saved the money to elope and these people weren't invited to attend your wedding

Honestly, everyone here sounds a little selfish and only looking at it from a "gift" standpoint. My family and friends understand that I am a completely private person and don't like a whole lot of attention, which is why I do not want a big wedding, nor will I waste time saving for a wedding in order to marry the love of my life. Plus, my Dad passed years ago and not having him walk me down the aisle is still upsetting. He was the only reason I wanted a wedding as a young girl.

My SO and I only want to say "I Do" before one another without all the added hoopla. We plan on spending wedding money on a 2-3 week honeymoon island hopping -Maldives, Fiji, Bali. Just us since vacations are hard with children and careers.

With that being said, my family and friends would still WANT to host and attend the same intimate celebratory events. If someone finds it tacky or uncouth, don't be fake and come then.