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Amber
Dedicated June 2020

Elope?

Amber, on January 24, 2020 at 9:26 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 15
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Lately my fiancé and I have been on the rocks and the stress of a wedding hasn’t been helping. We are trying to fix our relationship but with the wedding 6 months away I don’t believe we can do both at the same time. (Both as in fix us and plan a wedding.)
I have thought about scaling back but even then I feel the stress creeping in.. thinking about just eloping to save us the stress..
Any ideas or words of advice will be greatly appreciated

15 Comments

Latest activity by Cherry, on January 24, 2020 at 2:02 PM
  • Erin
    VIP December 2020
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    Focusing on your relationship is far more important than a big fancy wedding. The wedding is one day, the marriage is forever. If eloping is the best choice to be able to better focus on your relationship, there is no shame in changing your plans. You can always do a big vow renewal in a few years if you still want that big day.
    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted September 2019
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag
    I think if you are on the rocks, I would strongly urge you to postpone your wedding. If the relationship needs to be fixed it is not a good time to marry.
    Best of luck. I hope it works out.
    • Reply
  • Kendra
    Savvy May 2021
    Kendra ·
    • Flag
    I agree with Erin, you don’t need a huge wedding if it’s just causing stress on the relationship. It’s all about you two, do what is best for you. Everyone else will understand.
    • Reply
  • Hope
    Dedicated August 2020
    Hope ·
    • Flag
    Sorry you’re going through this. Eloping isn’t the answer. You should seriously consider putting the wedding off and seek counseling. Problems don’t go away because you get married. I wish you happiness- good luck!
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    A marriage will not fix any issues within the relationship. You're better off postponing the wedding until you have sorted out the issues within your relationship. Maybe seek out premarital counseling?
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Working on your relationship should be your main focus. I think the best thing to do is to postpone your wedding and work on getting back to a good place with your fiancé. Eloping/marriage is not a bandaid. There are stresses that come with being married. I would hate to see you elope and the problems continue, and new problems arise, and your marriage end in divorce. Good luck.

    • Reply
  • B
    Dedicated October 2020
    beee ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this. Why would you want to get married if your relationship is on the rocks? Fix your relationship first and then consider marriage.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I agree with the others. Eloping or getting married is not the answer if you’re having relationship issues. Postpone the wedding and get some counseling right away. Focus on the relationship rather than a wedding or it could end up in disaster later.
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Dedicated June 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag
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    ❤️❤️ thank you
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Dedicated June 2020
    Amber ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I appreciate this very much ❤️❤️
    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    The relationship needs to come before wedding. It may seem like the planning is the cause but it could be something else. I would cancel the wedding for now and seek counseling. Once the two of you are good, then you can just run off to Vegas (or wherever) and elope, stress free but you definitely do not want to do that if you are on the rocks. That is just not smart!

    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Rockstar August 2021
    Jasmine ·
    • Flag
    If eloping will help, then go for it. We had a big wedding planned and we ended up having to cancel due to a huge financial set back. Still pretty upset but we just booked a venue this time around for an elopement/micro ceremony.


    We also pushed back our date from August this year to February next year. We're still looking into possibly having a bigger reception but if it won't financially work out for us, we'll just stick with our ceremony crowd and go out to eat at a nearby restaurant or something.
    Take all the time you need to make sure you guys get back on track because the only happiness that matters is between the two of you. I wish you both the best of luck.
    • Reply
  • Jess
    Expert October 2019
    Jess ·
    • Flag
    I agree with everyone to a certain extent. Another option would be to keep the same date but set a boundary of not planning for a bit to give yourselves a break and use that break to work some stuff out and air out the dirty laundry.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with eloping if that is what you both want. But, I agree with the majority that it doesn't make sense to elope as a way to fix your relationship. Marriage is not a solution. And sure, planning a large wedding can be stressful, but relationship problems during planning are not usually isolated; they are a symptom of bigger problems.


    Pause the wedding planning and work on your relationship. Then work together to decide what kind of wedding you want (and eloping is just one option).

    • Reply
  • Cherry
    Expert February 2020
    Cherry ·
    • Flag

    If the stress/rocky road is coming from wedding planning, then elope. But if the stress is from the wedding planning AND other forces, I'd push off getting married altogether, because even if you elope, that's still a marriage, and then you might feel stuck in a bad situation. Either way, make your relationship the priority. Maybe also sit down and talk about which part of planning is stressful for each of you and try to get on the same page.

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