Elope vs Small Wedding

This is definitely something you need to decide together once you're engaged, independent of family opinion. Consider your budget and who you absolutely want to share the celebration with. In 10 years, what part of the day is going to matter most (aside from FH)? In the mean time, don't worry about those details and enjoy the day dreams.

As for the anticipated probing questions from family - just tell them that you're enjoying being engaged and won't get to planning for a while. I used that line even after we were well into the planning stage.

Honestly with it being your second wedding and I am very pro elopement anyways, I would say elope. Still make it special photographer, dress, nice meal after etc.

I think that it would allow you to focus on the two of you and your marriage more than the anxiety about stress regarding either of your families. Plus elopements can be so dreamy and you can lead straight into the honeymoon.

As Miss S. said though it needs to be conversation once you do engaged with your FH.

side note:

I am always on team small wedding, because I love them.

Find a great officiant, a cool restaurant, a photographer who will work with you (though that might be hard on LDW), get a dress and flowers and music and invite 20 guests.

If you're in NJ, I can help you with locations, but it'll be great.

Thanks ladies!

My bf said we can do whatever I want. He knows his family is very domineering, he's nothing like them thankfully! He's mentioned eloping and getting married at home either with a small group or just us

Looking over the numbers the smallest we could do is 35, because of the size of his family who we see every holiday so if we invite one, we invite all. It will be very lopsided but the honeymoon definitely won't be!!

So glad I don't have to have the answer of where today.

I feel like you are a bit too concerned too soon. Wait till you are actually engaged to make a decision. Things change, anxiety levels can change. Get engaged first.

Team small, intimate wedding.