Hello, we are just beginning to plan our wedding for next October! We have come up with a few options below and I just have some questions regarding each and would love to hear everyone's advice.
1. A planned destination elopement just the two of us. We have been discussing this for a while and found an amazing venue on the Amalfi Coast of Italy, an open air ancient monastery with a romantic dinner on a sea side terrace, included pictures of it here to show why my decision is so hard to give up this venue. We think it would be intimate and romantic while also saving money for an epic honeymoon immediately following the wedding. Our only hesitation is our families. I know most people who elope probably encounter this issue. My parents would support eloping but my mom has stated she would love to be there and I would love her there too but could get over it, she said the same. We are close and she would help me get ready, and as with my sisters weddings, would cry when i walk down the aisle, not sure if I want to miss out on that special moment yet. My FH is very close with his mom and although he said he is more than fine with an elopement, he will miss her witnessing it too and she will not be so happy about an elopement. I don't want to invite our families to the elopement since mine makes travel more stressful and dramatic, his dad is not yet a citizen and would have very hard time traveling to another country, plus I would have to do it in October to beat the heat and euro tourist crowds and that time of year is hard for my sisters with school age kids.
Has anyone eloped who is close with their parents and had regrets of not having them part of it? Or did you find ways to make them part of it before you left?
Would it be weird to get our marriage license before we leave for Italy, which will be easier than applying in Italy, and have a casual "blessing" ceremony with just our parents and siblings followed by dinner? I say blessing because his family is super religious and mine is not but his mom would find this important for our marriage. Kind of like a send off for our elopement. Or do you think it won't make a difference for the moms and us if they are not there for the real ceremony and ring exchange in Italy?
Do elopements feel like a real wedding when all said and done? We would have the dress, flowers, music, officiant and all that but im wondering if anyone feels they missed out on a family wedding?
NH Collection Grand Hotel Convento Amalfi, Italy
Ceremony site
2. Have a small family only wedding under 20 guests, only parents, siblings and niece/nephews, near my home town in NY. It would be intimate and we are thinking of a pretty lakeside winery followed by an awesome dinner party, first dance and a bon fire. Simple but we would still include all the traditional wedding elements and splurge on the food for such a small number. We will do all the official vows here but save our personal written vows to exchange in Italy on our honeymoon or in private following our ceremony in US, just us somewhere private and beautiful. We want to do this because we are shy with our feelings in front of families. Anyways i know this option will give us the moms we would love to be there but I just cant shake the feeling of how amazing it will be to elope in Italy. Also it would be a good time for our parents to get to know each other more since they have not yet met!
Has anyone had a micro family only wedding and did you feel like you missed out on the "party" with more friends involved? Did you have drama with friends if you only invited one best friend? If no friends at all, did you miss your best friend being there? If i invited mine, my hometown friends would freak out if they saw pics with her and they werent invited while living close by, not sure worth the drama. And inviting them too would had 8 more guests with their husbands and kids plus then more guests from my FH friends to make it equal. That is why we lean towards no friends, just family. My FH said he cannot choose just one best friend to invite and would rather invite none than the awkwardness of playing favorites. Im just worried we will have "fomo" of not having a bigger party with friends.
Anyone ever saved their personal vows for private, on the honeymoon? Or should we do it on the real wedding day?
3. A small wedding under 60 guests with our closest friends and family. We found some pretty venues that are better for a larger wedding and i used to love the idea of a big party with our friends. But that was in my 20s and now that im 30 and have grown more distant with some friends and don't care about partying anymore, would it be worth it to spend the extra on more guests? some friends we send xmas cards to and reunite from time to time but barely speak to otherwise. I know we would have a blast with our bestfriends dancing the night away when the time comes. Any one felt they missed out on all the dancing and socializing?
I can see why narrowing down the guest count is what every bride says is the hardest part!! My options are all very different but I would value the input to help me decide. I think ultimately we will be happy no matter what we choose but im so indecisive and have a hard time picking one without wondering about the others. Thanks!
