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Just Said Yes November 2019

Elope or No

Abbie, on May 24, 2019 at 12:02 AM Posted in Planning 0 9

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So we have already picked our venue and paid money down for it. We have also secured a photographer and DJ. Bought my dress and my bridesmaids got theirs.and my girls have even planned my bridal shower and have spent money on it. BUT!!!!! Me and my fiancé are now thinking about just taking our 3 sons and eloping. Reason 1 is no one is showing any type of excitement for us or wanting to help. Reason 2 why pay a fortune for people to eat, drink and dance when no one bothers with us or our kids.
If we did elope we would still have a small picnic style party some time but I just feel bad because my girls have already bought their dresses. Idk what to do. We would get all our money back except the $500 we put down for the venue.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Sinéad, on July 12, 2019 at 9:28 AM

Master December 2020
Amanda · on May 24, 2019 at 12:16 AM
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Would the dress/es momey be refunded too? Remember NOONE will be as excited or care as much as you about your wedding! If you really don't feel people want to be there or cherish your wedding day then simply don't invite them as you can have a small wedding for just the important happy people. If there's no one and just a handful (like 20) then yeah maybe the elopement if the girls can get their money back somehow so they aren't stifted
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Just Said Yes November 2019
Abbie · on May 24, 2019 at 12:20 AM
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Our wedding guest list is only 50 people to begin with. No they can’t return their dresses so I’d probably come out of pocket to pay them back. But we just feel like neither my parents or his really care at all. It just makes us wonder why we are spending so much money for people who don’t even show interest when it’s talked about
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Master December 2020
Amanda · on May 24, 2019 at 12:27 AM
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I can understand how you are feeling. Have you talked to them about it? You never know whats going on in peoples life or what their views may be about things so that makes a big part in how they may act. Also, if you can't get the 500 and then 100-200 probubly for each bridesmaids dress plus probubly yours..thats a lot of money DX and yes I think ettiquete is you paying them back for the dresses but then you can take them and try to resale them to get some money back but still thats a lot of money
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Master August 2021
Jasmine · on May 24, 2019 at 12:36 AM
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I totally understand though. I try hard not to talk about it because I know eventually I'll get on someone's nerves no matter how much they smile in my face. There's elopement services out there that allow for a certain amount of guests so your wedding party could still be included if that doesn't bother you or like you said just come out of pocket to pay them back for their attire. Definitely do some research and see how you feel about it. The last thing you would want is to look and feel down on your big day!
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on May 24, 2019 at 2:20 AM
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Eloping is definitely a decision only you and your FS can make! If that's what you both want, then go for it! You could always have a ceremony later if you choose. I'm sorry you don't feel support or love from your family / friends. Don't let them take away from your beautiful wedding, no matter what you decide
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Super July 2020
D · on May 24, 2019 at 4:16 AM
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Don't let their lack of excitement decide what you do. Have the day you want. People aren't necessarily going to get all excited to be part of the planning process. That's ok. Elopement has its upsides. Yes it's cheaper but are you settling? Are you ok with a tiny wedding and dinner after? Not having your big moment? If so then go for it!
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on May 24, 2019 at 2:55 PM
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Nobody, and I really mean NOBODY will ever be as excited about your wedding as you are. That sounds simple enough, but I know it's harder to accept and face than you'd think. It's kind of a bummer, actually. But it is what it is. It doesn't mean you should cancel your wedding. You're still about 6 months out. I have seen the excitement level rise as the date gets closer. Hopefully you will see the same.
If you and FH decide to elope, just make sure it's for the right reasons, not just because nobody is showing excitement yet over an event that is still half a year away.
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Devoted April 2022
Amber · on May 25, 2019 at 2:48 AM
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Agree with other posters that no one will ever be as excited for your wedding as you. However, I think it might be a little unfair to say your people aren’t excited if your BMs have already planned your shower etc. It’s your choice if you want to elope, but I think you may have hurt feelings among your bridal party. If you do elope, you should reimburse your BMs for their dresses AND any money they’ve had to spend on planning your shower and bachelorette party. They likely won’t recoup those costs and now you’ve wasted their time and money.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on July 12, 2019 at 9:28 AM
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Hey Abbie!! have you decided to stick with your original wedding plans or elope?
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