Dedicated December 2020

Elope? Or have a wedding?

Terran, on October 12, 2019 at 11:09 AM Posted in Planning 1 11

So lately I've been super stressed. Maybe wedding planning has something to do with it, but I'm super broke, and I don't have family to help me pay for a wedding. So it would just be the FH and I putting out money for a wedding. I now just want to save up money and go elope in the Red Woods. I'm tired of planning. Over a year out and my whole family is getting pissy with me because I'm not making them happy with how I want to get married. Anyone else say screw a wedding and just run off and get married? Because I'm close to just stop planning or trying. FH doesn't care either way, but if we're saving money and still getting married, I know he'll be happy. And honestly, so will I. I just wanted to have my grandparents at my wedding.. and my horse. I'm so torn and have no idea what to do. SEND HELP!


Latest activity by H, on October 13, 2019 at 7:42 AM
  • Jocelyn
    Devoted December 2019
    Jocelyn ·
    • Flag

    In the beginning of me planning my wedding I was looking at over 150 guest for December of next year. My parents and family drove me nuts for three straight months the beginning of this year with their opinions on the wedding. It started to affect me and my FH. We realized this type of wedding wasn't what we wanted and started to look around for what we did want. I want to say mid march we decided we wanted to get married this December and not wait a year. WE went from 150 guest to 46-48 guest and are having a small intimate wedding. We will be getting married at the venue and then moving to the reception room to have an intimate dinner with no dj. I didn't tell my parents after Easter that Surprise the wedding is this year! The were a little upset at first but got over it and started to help us this time around. It was the best decision ever and we couldn't be happier! I had to learn very late that you cant keep everyone happy and that's its our(your) day. So do what you feel is right and don't worry about others. This is you wedding and your marriage. We still had a little drama on the way with his family but we are two months away till the wedding and very excited. Do what you both feel is best.

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Would you enjoy planning if not for your family? If so, then stop sharing details and say “we want it to be a surprise!” if asked any questions. We didn’t share any details because we truly wanted to surprise guests but the happy result was ZERO negative comments, questions, suggestions, not even an eyebrow raise.
    • Reply
  • Brandy
    Just Said Yes March 2021
    Brandy ·
    • Flag
    Go small! Have a private ceremony with just your grandparents and your horse. Ya just need two witnesses. Then if you wanna have a hell of a party go for it. Don't take the fun out of it!
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Ugh yes I've had those thoughts before. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and unsupported during the process. You could also always scale back on the planning in terms of keeping it more simple. And don't forget to take breaks.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    VIP September 2023
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    I was planning, and I got tired of running the numbers and never being able to get it under $10,000. We decided to take our tax returns (which were going to pay for the wedding) and put them towards paying off debts instead, and we're eloping in Rocky Mountain National Park with our parents and a few close friends. I'm excited about my wedding again, and we're planning to do a full vow renewal in a few years when we can more comfortably afford it.

    There's nothing wrong with changing your plans if it's not making you happy anymore.

    • Reply
  • VIP November 2021
    • Flag
    I would LOVE to elope!!! My FH Hhas wanted to marry me from day 1.. I friend zoned him for —about 7 years or so before I finally gave him a Chance lol thank goodness I did but anyway he totally disagreed and wants all the bells and whistles carriage ride etc lol I love it but ahhhh I love simple
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Master December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    I would elope! You don't want to start your marriage with money stress and you both sound totally happy with it plus your family is being a pain! Use the money for more important things!
    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes January 2020
    Meli ·
    • Flag

    I say elope, i sure wish i did- i am wasting so much money and time on these ungrateful peo0ple who dont even have the decensy to rsvp

    • Reply
  • Taylor
    Savvy October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag

    We are doing both. Eloping to Iceland and then having a ceremony stateside, a few days later. Can't say it's super cost efficient but the stateside ceremony is way more laidback which allows us to spend more on our elopement.

    • Reply
  • Alana
    Savvy January 2020
    Alana ·
    • Flag
    My fiance and I have absolutely no money at all for our wedding.

    Our guest list is 30-40 people currently. Maybe building a bit to include a few people from his unit.

    Having a small wedding has helped out a lot, instead of a sit down dinner we're having a cocktail reception and a couple tables of sliders and BBQ food.

    We spent more money on the things important to us, like a personalised ceremony and for a coordinator so I'm not stressing on the day.

    But we're only having a photographer/videographer for a couple hours, just to catch the ceremony and first couple hours of the reception.

    We also hired a small venue (a private home) for both the reception and the ceremony

    It total we're looking at spending only around 5k but could be spending less if we wanted to

    Hope this helps
    • Reply
  • H
    Super September 2019
    H ·
    • Flag
    We did! We had planned and set a date with our dream venue along with deposits and such. We realized months into planning how stressful and expensive it actually was and that we wouldn't be able to have everyone we originally planned for our already very small guest list. We stopped wedding planning and initially was going to hold off a few more years after saving. A few months after stopping though, this past August said to my DH that I really just wanted to be married and to let's do it next month (September). So that's what we did. We went off to the White Mountains and we got married just the two of us. It's now been 21 days and I am so happy with our choice!
    • Reply

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