Elope or Ceremony + Reception

I think my FH and I had the same dilemma. We had a 2 year engagement and part of us was so excited and ready to get married, the other part wanted to wait. I think what helped me decide, was I felt like I was lying to friends and family by eloping and then having a ceremony. And I would rather just celebrate with everyone once. The second deciding factor (which is silly to some) is I love anniversary and dates, and I was worried that if we eloped and then had a ceremony I wouldn’t know what date to use for paperwork/anniversary. Again, silly to some, but important to me. Hope that helps!

At the end of the day I think it all depends on what YOU and FH want. For me personally, I don't think I would 'feel' married without the big celebration and festivities and we aren't marrying until December 2021 (originally this year but postponed due to COVID).

The only people I know who eloped either eloped because they didn't want family involved (family drama) or eloped because of (legitimate) visa reasons and later had a big celebration.

Really it is a matter of what you want and how you envision the day going.

We were torn at one point too. We decided to do an elopement because we didn't want to spend the money for a wedding. Even spending $5,000 is too much and unnecessary in our situation when that could be used towards a down payment on a house and/or my student loans.


I also knew there would DEFINITELY be drama bc I didnt want to spend money on allowing our siblings to bring dates or their short term significant others. We got engagement pics 2 months ago and it was so stressful with all the beauty appointmens. I just don't want even more stress with a wedding.
An elopement will be super affordable, less stressfull, and intimate.

Purposely we had 2 separate events. We wanted to get married in Vegas and then wanted to party with our family back home. Honestly, I preferred it that way even during COVID. I was able to get married in the location I wanted and then relax for 2 weeks and party with my family. When I tell you I was exhausted after the ceremony... I mean EXHAUSTED. I honestly don’t know how people do it same day lol.

I feel your pain. I’ve been engaged for almost 2 years and planning with covid has been SO unpredictable. If we opt to do the traditional celebration, we impose travel during this climate (as most of our guests are in NJ/NY/NV and we are in FL). If we opt to do just our local family (which will just be the grooms), we deal with the drama of leaving my family out. We’re ending up doing an elopement in Miami at the Perez Art Museum for just us 2 (who will virtually webcast our ceremony) on our 6 year dating anniversary date and will most likely announce it a day or 2 prior, as well as let them know it’s due to our concern for their health. Not an easy decision, but hopes this helps!

We went back and forth with this for months before deciding to do an elopement and then a reception party when we returned. We sent out invitations as normal and mentioned that we would already be married. I was pretty set on doing a regular wedding (100+ guests) in the Hill Country, but we decided to elope after pricing out venues and vendors. Our reception party is going to be very minimal and family and friends are helping a lot with costs. We have a lot of family and community support offering to DIY stuff, decorate and donating food and alcohol. If the prices would have been the same or similar, we would've stuck to our original plan of getting married in a traditional ceremony with our guests. You just have to do what you feel best in your heart. It's YOUR day!

I know someone that planned on having a ceremony and reception but she just couldn't wait anymore, so they had a really last minute wedding. Her family wasn't able to make it due to the one week notice, so it was basically all of his family and their friends. She did a zoom meeting for guests unable to attend, and that was a fiasco. More sad tears than happy.

My friend is eloping with her FH and they're having a big celebration with everyone when they get back.

Ultimately, it's your day and if you can't wait to be married, then do it!! You both know what you want and what feels right!

If you don't want to share the day with anyone besides your fiance then elope without any afterparty. Send announcements to whomever you would have invited to a traditional wedding.
If you want to share the day with even ahandful of guests, then have the traditional ceremony and reception on the same day.

Many people decline a reception after an elopement because it is considered rude per etiquette, regardless if it's the same day or 6-12 months later. You weren't "good enough" to make the cut at the most important part of the day but you're good enough to party and buy a gift. The reception is the most expensive part of the wedding so cost is not a valid factor in inviting someone to one event but not both..