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Tana
Just Said Yes September 2021

Elope now ceremony later-social media

Tana, on February 14, 2020 at 1:22 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 11
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My husband is in the Navy and we recently got eloped and haven’t announced an engagement prior to this. We did this for financial reasons and I’m not planing on changing my name until we have a ceremony with friends and family next year. I’m just not sure what to post on social media! I want to put engaged because I want our wedding to be special to friends and relatives (we told our parents) BUT I also feel weird about it. I already see him as my husband plus all of his Navy friends/coworkers know about it. He says he doesn’t mind what I post, so it’s not very helpful.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Carina, on February 14, 2020 at 2:00 PM
  • Michelle
    Dedicated July 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Just be honest. You’re married now so don’t lie to friends and family and pretend otherwise. You can still do the grand ceremony & party - just call it a renewal and not wedding. I’d be really hurt if someone close to me lied about it.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree with pp. Lying is never a good idea in my book, and especially since a bunch of people already know you are married, you'd just be inviting confusion and drama by posting you are engaged. Congrats on your marriage -- own your choice -- and have a great vow renewal later.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I agree you should not pretend to be engaged when you are not because most likely people will be bothered if they find out otherwise. You do not have to post anything on social media if you do not want to. It is not mandatory. I would just let them know you are having a vow renewal ceremony followed by a large reception after or just have the post reception and you two can come in and be introduced as husband and wife. You can even wear a wedding dress, have your first dance and all that fund stuff. Smiley smile

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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    You eloped and now you’re married. So you shouldn’t put engaged on anything. I would share the happy news that you and your husband eloped on XX date. And you if you would like to say you’re planning a reception to celebrate with friends and family next year, that is fine.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You didn’t “get eloped,” you got married. You should say you’re married.
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  • M
    Savvy February 2020
    M ·
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    Send out formal announcements of your marriage and include a details card stating reception with family and friends to be planned at a later date. You're married no scence in acting like you're not. Change your name now you can still have a big wedding and party with friends at a later date. Congratulations
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would just post an announcement that you eloped and call him your husband, then host a reception or vow renewal!

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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    I agree with all the ladies who have chimed in so far. You're married--celebrate it! Let people know that you got married and will be having a vow renewal at a later date. Those who you haven't told WILL find out (especially since a number of people already know) and will be incredibly hurt that you lied about such a big life event. Letting people know that your upcoming celebration is a vow renewal won't take away from the special-ness of the day.

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  • Tana
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Tana ·
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    Thank you ladies!!! This has been so helpful! This is all very new to me, so I’m glad I got such great advice. I’ll definitely announce the elopement ASAP before things get complicated.
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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Glad we could help. And congratulations!!

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  • Carina
    Savvy June 2022
    Carina ·
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    I am in this same situation! My husband is also in the Navy and we are recently married. I've decided to keep it secret from everyone (except our parents of course) because I want our wedding to feel special, not only to our guests, but to us as well. I feel like the excitement of getting married may become faded if everyone knows you're already married, especially at the ceremony. But honestly, this is just our take on it and you should do whatever feels right to you!

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