East Coast Brides with Late Aug/september weddings - anyone postponing yet? Planners, any advice?

Mine was originally 05/02/20 and we rescheduled it for 08/29/20. Our wedding is in Miami. A good amount of our guests are from NY. We anticipate to have about 50 guests in total. Not making any decisions until maybe the beginning of July. I wouldn’t want people wearing masks, it would take away from everything I feel. A lot can happen in 4 months so just hoping for the best!

Kolena this is SO helpful - thank you so much!! Our parents are starting to be concerned so I will share this with them.

Great discussion thread! I think this area is extremely different from other parts, it will be great to talk to people from the same area. Thanks for sharing that article, it provided a lot of information!

1. Have you already postponed or about to do so? I want to postpone so badly, I just don’t think it will be feasible to have a wedding in August. My venue at the moment is not allowing July or August brides to postpone or cancel.

2. If you haven't postponed, what planning are you doing in the meantime? I’m just waiting around, emailing and calling my venue frequently.

A wedding in August just makes me so I comfortable. My fiancé’s family is all from New York and New Jersey, they made it very clear that they would not be comfortable attending a large event anytime soon. Being in Maryland things don’t seem to be getting better. I also wish they phases included gathering size numbers that would be super helpful.

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I completely agree Kenzie, hopefully they'll announce gathering size numbers too! I'm in the same boat as far as having guests in NY/CT (I'm originally from CT). That sucks that your venue won't let you postpone - hopefully they will open it up soon though!

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Fingers crossed! Also, you may luck out by having less than 100 guests, which would be more likely to make whatever gathering restrictions come out by then.

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Laura,

Has your venue given you an information? I've probably been bothering mine so much, but I just need answers. We do seem to be in similar situations! I did read an article about Ocean City, MD and how they plan to go about gatherings.

I also did just find an article that said this

Medium Risk (Phase 2)

Within this stage, there could be: a raised cap on social gathering; indoor gyms and fitness classes and childcare centers reopened; restaurants and bars reopened; transit schedules returning to normal; and indoor religious gatherings.

High Risk

There is no realistic timeline yet for when this stage may be reached. It will require either a widely available and FDA-approved vaccine, or safe and effective therapeutics that can revive people with significant disease or prevent serious illness in those most at-risk. During the High Risk phase, larger social gatherings could be allowed; high-capacity bars and restaurants reopened; entertainment venues reopened; and larger religious gatherings allowed.

So to me weddings would fall in High Risk, especially since you are bringing people from all different families and possibly places. But again numbers would greatly help differentiate between 2 and 3 for weddings since they vary in size so much.

Kolena, I looked at your article, which recommends waiting to make a decision for a September wedding until July, but I have quite a bit of guests from NY/CT and those that have to fly in (including my brother/bridesman and a groomswoman). Would you say this would impact your recommendation in that case? My initial thought was to make a decision in the next month to six weeks.

Part of me wants to postpone just so I don't have to keep stressing about it, but I know that if there is a chance we could still do it normally, that would be much easier. I don't envy you as a wedding planner right now!

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Kenzie, my venue has not really reached out at all yet, except for our tasting which was supposed to happen 2 weeks ago. I'm going to reach out to them in the next day or so though and I'll let you know what they say!

I agree that weddings, depending on size, would fall under High Risk - especially mine which will be around 140 people. Either way, even it if was Medium Risk, I have a lot of guests that are at higher risk that would not come unless they had a vaccine. Honestly, I have asthma myself - and so the thought of getting married in a mask is just unacceptable haha.

View Quoted Comment Hey Laura,


I also have a lot of family coming from New York to my wedding (I’m a New York native). For me, I am a bit more of a risk taker so I am going to wait. I’ve already rescheduled once so i don’t have much to loose by waiting. A lot of my family has indicated they would still travel for it if travel restrictions are lifted and things are looking relatively normal and that by August “everyone is going to be ready to party”. If I have to reschedule I’ll do so in July for a date in 2021.

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Laura,

I would also recommend just reaching out to your venue and seeing what their availability looks like for 2021. See if they will hold a date for you or what options they are giving people. I would tell them you definitely want to postpone not cancel and that you're getting a lot of feedback from family members in NY and CT that they won't be willing or able to travel. I am sure they have a policy in place at this point that they can communicate to you.

In the meantime, you can update your wedding website and let people know you intend to make a decision by a specific date and that you are monitoring the situation closely and seeing if it will be possible to keep your date or if you will need to postpone for everyones safety.

The reason I'm not rushing into any decisions is because the outcome doesn't really change too greatly for me whether I jump the gun and rebook now or wait until I see what the future holds. In both scenarios the ultimate outcome is that I will reschedule to 2021 so I might as well just wait and see.

Unless you are super worried about getting a specific date in 2021, I wouldn't see the need to rush and make a decision.

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Thanks Kolena, I just got in touch with my venue and updated my website.

I see what you mean about your situation though - no point in postponing a second time until you're absolutely positive that you have to do so!

To be honest, I haven't really reached out to my friends and family in NY/CT so it's definitely a good idea to start doing so. I'm running under the assumption that if things are normal they will come but if not it's unlikely. But it doesn't hurt to reach out to some of them!

We are sort of in a middle ground as far as date preference - we don't care about a specific month but would like a Spring/Fall wedding and have a Saturday, so I imagine those dates in 2021 are being sought after. We'll see!

Hi Laura,

Wow, this thread is full of great advice! I just wanted to pop in here to let you know I am thinking about you.

If I were in your shoes, I would continue to plan as normal! However, it doesn't hurt to have a plan b. Start reaching out to your vendors to see what they advise.

Sending lots of love your way!

View Quoted Comment Hi Kenzie, can you link me to where you found this info from? I want to share it with FH. Thx!

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Absolutely!

https://www.avenuenews.com/news/hogan-plans-to-reopen-maryland-rapidly-not-recklessly/article_88c255fc-e37b-5541-be98-1eb36533f317.html

View Quoted Comment I really wish they would include specific numbers in these guidelines, too! It would make things so much easier to plan (or not plan). I'm in MA where guidelines haven't even been released yet, so I really don't know what to expect. The governor of RI was specifically asked about weddings, and she said: none over 50 people for June or July, maybe up to 100 people in August, but no promises.

I have been waiting to marry the man i love for over 20 years. Our date is 8/29/20. I do not want to reschedule unless we have no choice. I was waiting to July to make a decision. No i don't want everyone wearing masks either. We are planning between 110-125 guests. No one out of town. I am holding my breath. I have so much to do still. If things don't start to open soon..i am going to have to postpone. We live in WNY

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Oh wow. Honestly, I feel like in this area that might be what other governors do. In that case my wedding won't be happening. Thanks for sharing that information. Hopefully more governors get asked that question so we can all get answers. I think it's worse not knowing what is going to happen. I would rather them say this is what it is and we can plan from there.

I’m in Ga so we are already on phase two. When I spoke to my vendor they noted that I can have up to 80 people and it might go up by middle May.
My problem is how would social distancing work and look like. Are some guests going to wear masks since they are older or maybe uncomfortable. Half the guests are from NY/NJ and may not want to travel. I want people to feel comfortable and freak out if someone coughs or sneezes.

Thanks for all the comments everyone! I vented about all of this to my family yesterday and they seem to think postponing would be easier, but I'm thinking of perhaps giving it a few weeks before officially making the decision to see if more information comes up. We'll see!

Ultimately I know - what's the harm in waiting until mid-summer to make a decision? But for me, it's been a huge stress on me right now at a time when my mental health is already not great. My other fear too is that if we wait too long, all of the good dates will be taken up. My fiancee and I have decided that moving the date to a year away from our current date would probably be safest - hopefully by that point they'll have a vaccine or treatment options.

A lot of these thoughts are due to factors that may not affect others though: size of wedding (over 100), area (MD which is pretty hard hit), and the fact that I have a lot of relatives that I really care about coming who are in the Northeast.

This thread has been really helpful for me in terms of coming closer to a decision - thanks!

I think so much can change between now and September. Also the places that are the most hit now (NY/NJ/CT) might actually be in better shape as the pandemic progresses on, but it's too soon to know. I do think people will be cautious about travel for some time and it's possible that large group gatherings will be minimized for a prolonged period. Is your venue indoors or outdoors? In general I think people will feel safer (and there is less risk) in outdoor settings with less crowding.

I think its safe to consider what your wedding might look like if you had to go down to 90 guests (using 100 as a gathering limit size and accounting for staff and vendors) or if guests from certain areas could not or would not travel. Perhaps figure out what is the absolute most important to you and what concessions you might be willing to make. For example, if having all 140 people is important and you love your venue, but it's indoors and has a max capacity of 160 people, it may not be possible to do if social distancing is in place and rescheduling might be necessary. If the date is super important to you but only 60 of the 140 guests are "must haves" then maybe you consider keeping that date and having a smaller wedding.

I'm sorry there is so much uncertainty and it is so difficult to predict what will happen come September. In general, I think it's reasonable to assume things will not be 100% perfectly normal the way they were a year ago, and there may still be a need for more distancing between guests, extra sanitation, and protecting vulnerable populations. Best of luck!