Dry Wedding

View Quoted Comment

Maybe if your uncles and cousins can't handle themselves, they don't get invited.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. No one is pushing beliefs on anyone.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, in my family, we are all very close knit and that would not go over well. I have to invite them, not serve alcohol, and let them whine.

View Quoted Comment They aren’t pushing their beliefs on others. They are simply not willing to foot the bill for alcohol. If someone can’t get through one event without alcohol they really need to seek help because they have a problem.

View Quoted Comment If people leave early because there aren’t booze that is on them and they are not people you need to worry about anyway. Those that truly care about you will stick around and have a great time. Please don’t worry about those that can’t handle one event without alcohol. They aren’t worth your time.

Do what you have to do it’s your day and who ever really loves you and want to be with you that day will be there that ir the important thing, don’t tell your family why don’t upset them just tell you decide to not have alcohol

I've been to a couple dry weddings, it was fine. I would absolutely explain it to your family just like you told us- for personal reasons that they probably know better than we do, it is extremely important to you to have a dry wedding. Maybe you can also add that to the FAQ section of your wedding website.

I disagree with people saying you shouldn't announce it. When I go to a wedding, I expect there to be alcohol. That's not to say I wouldn't come hang out for a little, but I would appreciate the heads up beforehand. It just seems sneaky to not tell people. Who cares what they think though? Better to just be honest.

You can just out a heads up on your wedding website. But this is your own personal choice, and if people want to drink that day they can after. your family must be at least somewhat aware of why you made that decision

Announcing it has the same effect as putting a filled flask or a handful of nips in the pockets or purses of half of your guests. It legitimizes it as an issue, rather being a perfectly acceptable everyday thing to sometimes have alcohol, and sometimes not, traditionally both acceptable . A lot of the bride's and groom's friends and one family may love sex, too, or drugs, but they will not be on the program, either. And except for alcoholics, most people spend more work and social time sober than drinking. If someone can't dance, or can't be sociable, or can't have any fun without alcohol for 8 hours, things I have been told, then they have socialization or psychological issues beyond what a party host can fix. Yes, I drink, and enjoy it when I do. But whether a wedding, or a dinner and show out on the town, or a camping trip where someone makes or plays music, and everyone dances in the moonlight, I have never been around a group where most don't still have fun even with no alcohol around. Just as most manage the average workday without it. So don't act apologetic, or feel you need to announce it, as you would if someone in the household had TB or measles. Sometimes alcohol is served at gatherings, sometimes it is not. Those who want to celebrate your wedding, will attend. Those who will choose dinner out or a tavern because they have alcohol and you don't, are not interested enough in your wedding or you to bother hosting at all. Invite them to your next friends and family barbecue and beer, even if they declined your wedding. Have a happy celebration of your marriage. However is best for you.

View Quoted Comment I'm a fairly big drinker, but I would never sneak alcohol into a dry wedding, especially when the reason was personal rather than financial. That's just me. But I would appreciate the heads up so I could adjust my expectations and not be surprised.

View Quoted Comment I worked catering for years, going through school, then to pay off cars and big things fast, pays better than being a PT. And sadly, for every nice guest who files away the info, but it does not make a difference, there are several who take it as a cue to stock their cars and put flasks to work. And just as a perfectly nice drinking crowd can go to heck fast when people start doing games that encourage fast drinking, people sneaking it often means going out of sight and dumping 4 ounces each into a couple glasses, 80-100 proof stuff. Or they bring 151 proof rum or corn liquor, put 2-3 ox in soda for a bunch of people. The crowd can get rowdy fast. And hosts who wanted no drinking either need to stop it, or be liable for it. I like knowing a general menu, and knowing whether or not liquor will be served often determines whether we stay the night, or drive home 1-4 hours. So I get that. But confronting people about their liquor stash can be tough. And if you call on the venue or the police to stop something excessive with enough visible muscle that people give it up, the whole wedding often gets closed down. Which is highly unfair. Whether it is budgetary or personal reasons or a few who will abuse alcohol if available, sometimes saying nothing in advance saves trouble, even though having notice would have changed people's decisions on staying over. I like it when non- alcoholic weddings have brunch or afternoon receptions. More drinkers will refrain from bringing a supply, and drink later.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you on that but it doesn't stop people from going to the store during the reception to buy alcohol to bring back to the reception. I was at my cousins dry wedding and nobody knew it would be dry until we got there and a few people actually left to go get alcohol to bring back to the reception. And I remember one guy actually going home to get a big cooler full of beer to bring back. Before the bride and groom got back to the reception after taking their pictures just about half of the guests had beers in their hands. The bride ended up talking to the manager of the reception and had asked if she could have people standing outside and making sure people weren't bringing in alcohol. I agree with you on maybe having a brunch style reception.

View Quoted Comment Always, school dances and dry parties need enforced rules: if you leave the party for any reason, even to go to your car, you cannot come back. It is really too bad people cannot be more respectful of their hosts.

View Quoted Comment Exactly, it's sad that adults can't respect others wishes. I mean like you really can't go to one event without having a drink. I felt bad for the cousin and his wife for having to put up with that kind of behavior from close family and friends.

Security is required by many venues these days and can be informed to keep an eye out to enforce it. Countless events have no alcohol and no one has any issue. Why people feel they have to disrespect a couple's choice to not have any makes no sense. Stay home or go do something else if it bothers them that much instead of ruining their event. The invite is not a summons.

View Quoted Comment How is simply not buying something and serving it, pushing beliefs? It is not something you are entitled to have served to you, or a right denied you. They probably are not serving lobster, cream puffs, lemon meringue pie and a host of other things a person might want. Of a few hundred possible choices of beverage, they will have 4 or 5. You are a guest, and are not entitled to have alcohol, or coffee, or any specific thing,even if your hosts like to drink it. It is simply not on the menu.

View Quoted Comment Why should you expect it? Whole towns and counties across the country are dry. People of multiple religions do not drink, thus do not serve it. Far more restaurants do not have liquor licences than do, and the same is true of catering. And at family oriented events, which weddings often are, often near half of guests, sometimes more, cannot drink.
Guests who expect it as something that "ought to be served" , need to adjust their expectations. Sometimes alcohol is served and sometimes it isn't.

View Quoted Comment Traditionally, alcohol is included at a wedding. It is even in the Bible.


It may also be a regional thing, but where I live, I have never been to even a wedding with a cash bar, let alone a dry wedding. It would be very out of the ordinary for me. Like I said, I wouldn’t not attend, but I would appreciate a heads up. No one is right or wrong to have a certain expectation based on their own experiences.

View Quoted Comment I also suggest that you have some fun non-alcoholic drinks as well to enjoy the celebration. That way people who enjoy fun, fancy drinks at an event can still enjoy fun, fancy drinks at an event.