Sydney
Expert May 2019

Dry Wedding to not make guests uncomfortable?

Sydney, on May 21, 2018 at 3:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 37
Saved
Reply
So my FH and I keep going back and forth on whether we should have a dry wedding or not. Our problem is that about 60% of the guest list (mom's side) are all mormon. Obviously they do not drink, and a good portion of those will not even attend our wedding or will be VERY uncomfortable if alcohol is there.
I'm worried it's not fair for the other 40% of the guest list to not be able to have any drinks if we do a dry wedding for my mom's half of the family. However, if there is a bar there, lots of other people won't show or will be visibly upset. What would you do in this situation?

37 Comments

Latest activity by Mrsbdg, on August 16, 2019 at 5:17 PM
  • Hillary
    Hillary ·
    • Flag
    Commenting to follow.
    • Reply
  • Tammy
    Super October 2018
    Tammy ·
    • Flag

    That's a tough situation. Maybe have a bar start a little later if you feel it's important to 40%? It's hard because it's not the quite 1/2 your guests but it's close.

    • Reply
  • ISaidHallYes
    VIP November 2018
    ISaidHallYes ·
    • Flag

    You have a very particular situation considering the beliefs of 60% of your guests. Honestly I feel like it could make for an uncomfortable time! Could you have the bar closed for the dinner and part of the reception. Then continue the reception with an open bar later in the night.. or continue on to an after party with your drinking guests?

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    You’re not wrong to think it’s not fair to base this decision on some of your guests, especially if it isn’t something that’s part of you or your FS’s faith. How does your mom feel about it? Is she Mormon?
    • Reply
  • G
    Savvy October 2018
    Gabrielle ·
    • Flag
    Our wedding is dry! We're not drinkers, we have friends and family who are but it's not important to me to supply alcohol just because we'll have drinkers there.

    It sounds like the majority of your guest list is made up of the non-drinkers, I'd go with dry.
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Devoted January 2019
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag
    I would have alcohol available to anyone who wanted it. I don't think that its fair to the other guests to not serve alcohol just because other guests don't want it. I think its a petty thing to not come to a wedding just because there is alcohol available and you dont like it. It's just a fact of life that we are going to be exposed to things we don't agree with or don't like, and that shouldn't stop people from being there with you on one of the most important days of your life. But this is just my opinion.
    • Reply
  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
    • Flag

    I'm sure you're in a tough spot but if it were me, I would have an open bar and would pay on consumption (you and FS only pay for drinks served). I can totally understand someone not wanting to drink due to religious or any other reason, but what someone chooses for themselves should have no bearing and should not infringe on other what other people do. As long as you have soft drinks available for those who do not drink alcohol, that's fine.

    I checked a couple of websites and they all said most Mormons would not be offended if they went to a party or event where alcohol was served. If someone is bothered by it, then that has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with being judgmental.


    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I went to a wedding last year where half the guest list was Mormon. They had open beer and wine for everyone and the grooms family that were Mormon just drank Diet Coke all night. They also had sparkling cider instead of champagne for them during the toasts.
    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag

    I think it's rude for them to not come just because you have alcohol. Alcohol is a part of adult life for so many people. Do they not go to certain restaurants because they serve alcohol and avoid any place that might have it?

    • Reply
  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    How is the room set up can you put the drinkers on the bar side and the others on other?

    • Reply
  • Mrs. G
    Devoted April 2019
    Mrs. G ·
    • Flag
    We’re having a dry wedding! This is for religious reasons. My fiancé and I do not drink. His side of the family are all Pentecostal with preachers, pastors..etc. However my side of the family are all heavy drinkers. I’m sure not as many guests from my side of the family will show up.
    Your situation sounds more difficult though. Since the majority of your guests are not drinkers then I would say to go ahead and have a dry wedding.
    • Reply
  • K
    Expert February 2019
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag
    It's your wedding day, if you want a bar have it. My fiance's dads side does not drink and the wedding is at a winery. It's what we wanted and they just need to deal with it. It's your day so look it your feelings first not everyone else's.
    • Reply
  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
    • Flag

    Personally, I'd be uncomfortable without a drink. Host properly and let people make their own decisions. They don't have to drink just because it is there. They can socialize among themselves if they don't want to interact with people drinking, just as if they were in a restaurant that would serve alcohol to other guests. Would it be less offensive to them to just do beer and wine? That would be an option.

    • Reply
  • Kiersten
    Expert February 2018
    Kiersten ·
    • Flag
    My Dad's side of the family is very religious (not Mormon) and when my cousin had her wedding, they kept the bar and alcohol in a separate room and kept it limited to beer, wine and a signature drink. Kind of an out of sight, out of mind thing I guess. It seemed to work really well for them.


    • Reply
  • Sydney
    Expert May 2019
    Sydney ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    We were considering doing this! I do like this idea.
    • Reply
  • Sydney
    Expert May 2019
    Sydney ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    My mom would prefer a dry wedding even though she isn't mormon, but because she knows how her side of the family can be.
    • Reply
  • Sydney
    Expert May 2019
    Sydney ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Sometimes, yes. One of my uncles told me a story once where he skipped going to a big work event just because there would be alcohol there.
    Its not right by any means, but I'm just trying to work with how I know they can be.
    • Reply
  • Sydney
    Expert May 2019
    Sydney ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    And that's exactly why I'm hesitant to just do a dry wedding! I don't want anyone uncomfortable. The problem is with this scenario is that some people are just going to be uncomfortable one way or another. I just want to minimize that.
    • Reply
  • Jen
    VIP July 2018
    Jen ·
    • Flag

    I have a number of coworkers who are Mormon and I'm not sure it's accurate to assume that they are offended being around a bar / other drinkers. I've never seen this with any of them. Have you asked a few of them in your family to confirm this? I'm under the impression that they themselves will not drink but are not bothered by or uncomfortable around those who do. I would provide alcohol and let each person decide for him or herself whether or not to take advantage of it.

    • Reply
  • starsinwaves
    VIP November 2018
    starsinwaves ·
    • Flag

    I'm sure when you've attended weddings for this side of the family, you didn't expect there to be alcohol. Likewise, these family members should expect there to be alcohol, as it is a non-Mormon wedding. Honestly, if they're offended being in the presence of alcohol, that's their problem. Just serve it.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics