Dry wedding reception

View Quoted Comment I truly am curious. Would you actually leave a wedding early because there wasn’t alcohol? Even if your friends that were getting married were recovering alcoholics along with many of the guests?

From experience as a guest at a dry wedding, I was not happy. However, if I would have been told in advance, I probably wouldn’t have been as salty because I would have been prepared (or at least brought a flask). At the end of the day it’s your decision to make, but if you decide on a dry wedding, maybe make it known in advance. Hope that helps.

View Quoted Comment Thankfully none of the people I'm friends with think that way. They don't need alcohol to relax unwind or have fun and they don't require me to provide it for them as a prerequisite to celebrate my and my FH special day.

View Quoted Comment If I'm bored, yes. I wouldn't do it out of spite and I would still be happy for the newly married couple. But have you stayed at a party you were bored at? I haven't unless I was obligated.

I believe it's more acceptable if one of the couple is freshly in recovery. If they've been in recovery for a while? It's not fair to expect guests who like to enjoy an occasional drink or two at a wedding to stay the entire time. I don't need alcohol to have fun, but it sure is nice at celebrations, especially those where you may not know many people. If a couple is worried about some of their guests, they can talk to those guests and let them know ahead of time it will be present.

ETA: Whether it's present in cash or open bar form. At least give your guests the option to purchase it.

View Quoted Comment Of course. People always leave dry weddings early, they get bored.
After speeches/first dances/dinner/cake, what is there to even DO at a dry wedding? Nothing, that’s why people get bored.

View Quoted Comment I can't imagine leaving simply over alcohol or sneaking it in. This isn't a frat party. I really don't get the there has to be alcohol mentality on this sight. I've never gone to a get together where people felt alcohol had to be provided.

View Quoted Comment Do people have to have alcohol to entertain themselves? I must hang with the wrong crowd.

View Quoted Comment I can't imagine hosting an event without having some type of alcohol. What about the people who enjoy a drink responsibly? Idk in my circles we host parties, showers, weddings, and holidays with alcohol and it's literally never a problem. The only "dry" events I've gone to were for family I was guilted into attending. Most of those emptied out early too though.

I don't think bringing your own alcohol has anything to do with frat parties. Then again all the frat parties I attended even hosted alcohol. I don't remember any of them being BYOB 🤔

View Quoted Comment What do people do? I don’t know....socialize with one another and dance? I get People leave if it’s a wedding and the couple just didn’t want to budget for alcohol. Even then I would stay but I can see a point there. But if my friends or family were previous alcoholics and most of the attendants were there because of meeting at AA I would be perfectly fine not drinking. I would talk to my friends, enjoy the dance floor, and just plain hang out. I would be there to celebrate their marriage. Don’t get me wrong I love to party but that is how I treat my friends and family. However, if that is how you roll then that is your choice.

View Quoted Comment Right I agree I’m a huge fan of having a bar at a wedding. I’m hosting an extremely long bar and we love to party. I don’t often get bored so I can’t say I’d leave a party for that reason. I find entertainment way too easily lol honestly you could lock me in a room with a cardboard box and I’d be entertained lol

I’m just saying I’d be fine passing up the drinks for a wedding that was thrown by AA members and a guest list full of AA members and friends. I’d be more concerned for hosting a wedding where my nearest and dearest felt comfortable or attending a wedding that catered to them. Or if the bride or groom is freshly in recovery as you said. Again I’m only playing advocate here for this situation, I’m not talking about a wedding who had a handful of guests that were AA members. In which case I would talk to those people ahead of time.

View Quoted Comment Consider yourself agreed with. Especially under the circumstances a dry reception is reasonable! This evening is about celebrating this couple, who happen to be people that don't drink anymore and are more comfortable without the temptation....

View Quoted Comment I can socialize/talk with my friends anytime. At a wedding, I want to celebrate with my friends. I also don’t know a lot of people who enjoy dancing unless they’ve had at least one drink.

Keep in mind, the reception is to thank your guests.

View Quoted Comment Sheesh, thank you for this.
Im starting to feel like a crazy person, these forums are not what they used to be😕

View Quoted Comment Not all guests can be locked in a room with a cardboard box and find something to do. If I don't know anyone else and I'm bored, I will leave soon after dinner. Not because I'm mad at the couple or need alcohol to entertain myself, but because one glass of wine helps me to relax in uncomfortable social situations and helps me open up more easily to complete strangers.

It's like if a handful of guests were vegan, and you only served vegan meals because you were catering to only them. It's not fair to your nonvegans.

If truly 99% of your guest list are in AA? Then I don't even see why a dry wedding would be a large enough issue to post on a wedding forum for input.

People shouldn't be judged for leaving a reception early, alcohol or no alcohol, AA members in attendance or none in attendance.

View Quoted Comment Exactly that’s the point. It’s a thank you to “her” guests who happen to be a, key word, majority AA members. I don’t see tempting them with alcohol as a thank you. More like a slap in the face.

View Quoted Comment But you need to consider all guests. If 100% of her guests are in AA? Then dry wedding. But if you have some guests who are not sober, why deny them something that is standardly served at weddings?

View Quoted Comment Not to mention that a huge part of any recovery program is learning to be around alcohol. Depending on what stage of recovery the guests are in, many are likely going to have no issues attending. Do they avoid all parties, dinners, restaurants, concerts, and sporting events?
Licensed bartenders also cut off those who do choose to drink.

View Quoted Comment My original comments if I remnever correctly was that she he needs to see where her friends are in the recovery program. If a good portion (we are talking about a majority she was saying are AA) of them aren’t comfortable I would very much put their needs ahead of the 1 percent who had to drink. We are talking about wanting to celebrate with friends. I would much rather attend to a majority that I would want to make comfortable to celebrate with me than doing a standard thing for a small percentage. Again I’m all for a bar at a wedding. I love bars and agree in a typical scenario it makes it more fun and people let loose. However I think there are situations where it is acceptable to forgo th bar. This is one of them. Technically you’d be a poor host to put your nearest and dearest you want on a wedding day into a path of temptation. With that said, as I stated previously, If most of them are well on their path then they are used to being around it and go for having a consumption bar. It truly depends on the specific situation.

View Quoted Comment Holidays, parties etc are all dry. No one expects alcohol, no one even asks. There is soda, water or kid friendly punch. Everyone enjoys themselves and if they decide to drink it is in private at home. We don't use alcohol to socialize. Frat parties usually center around alcohol is the point.