Dropping hints for a bridal shower?

You can't just ask her to throw you a bridal shower? My mom has passed away, but if she were here, she and I were close enough that I could have just gone to her and told her I would love a bridal shower, and she would have thrown me one.

Actually, she had all those things when she got married, so she probably would have just done it, like she did for my sister. But I get that a non-traditional path might make some people unaware of all the fun traditions that could happen.

What about your FMIL? Would she have any interest in doing this for you? Maybe FH could drop some hints to her?

You can just ask her. I find directness gets better results. "Hey mom I would like a bridal shower, what do you think about throwing one, since MOH is in the UK?"

I agree with the other posters that you can probably just ask or maybe mention how much fun you had a recent friend’s bridal shower that her mom threw her...but that’s not very subtle! Lol :p
Heads up - you might get people on here saying it’s against etiquette to ask for a shower. I say to each their own, as we all have different opinions and that’s okay. “You’re not entitled to a bridal shower. If nobody offers then you don’t get one, period” is what I see a lot. Don’t take it to heart, a lot of people take themselves too seriously on these forums lol. Good luck!

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I agree with this. Just ask

I generally agree with not asking people to host parties for you, but if you and your mom are close and you don't think hosting a shower would be an unreasonable burden for her financially/time & effort, then I'd just politely ask her if she'd be willing. Like you said, she might not know, and a couple decades ago it was considered incredibly "gift grabby" for the bride's mom to host a shower (e.g., "asking for gifts" for her daughter was about as bad as daughter directly asking for them). That was the thinking when I got married, so when daughter got engaged, even though I knew her mostly out-of-state bridal party wouldn't be able to host a shower for her, I wasn't sure if it would be weird/tacky for me to do it. I did some reading and realized the etiquette on that had changed, so I offered to do it. Good luck!

I think it'd be okay to go ahead and just talk to her, or if you are unsure about outright asking her to throw you a bridal shower then show her fun ideas/games and try to drop hints that you think it would be fun!

Also, maybe see if you can get your MOH in on it to at least help plan or hint that you'd like a bridal shower. Surely between the two of you the hint will be understood! My bridal shower will be hosted by one of my mom's best friends who also happens to be the mother of one of my Bridesmaids. In the end, you shouldn't feel guilty or sneaky about wanting a bridal party, it's part of the fun of getting married!

Throwing a shower is not a bridal party job. It can be done by any close female friend or family , who volunteers. Until recently, MOB were the only ones NOT supposed to throw showers. That is likely the etiquette your mom grew up with, and may think true. Talk with a good friend or two. Don't outright ask. But say that since your mom is your only bridal party, and traveling from UK, you are disappointed you likely won't be having a shower. I would think most friends would offer one. Assuming you have friends, but if not , who would shower guests be? Sometimes friends do not offer because they assume someone else is doing one. And when they find out, no one is, come up with one. Showers do not have to be a big expensive deal. My favorites are small, in a home, yard, park cookout area, someplace informal. And desserts and coffee, or drinks and appetizers. Surely some few of your friends would be up for that? An aunt? A godmother?

Alright y'all, thanks for the boost of courage. I'm certainly not a direct person normally. We talked this weekend and the response was "Well absolutely, I didn't think you would want one!" And right into planning mode she went.

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Yay! I'm glad it worked out!