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Marcus & Marlisa
Devoted June 2021

Dropped one of my bridesmaids

Marcus & Marlisa, on February 15, 2020 at 3:41 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 31

I feel like a bridezilla and that is exactly what I wanted to avoid in this wedding planning process. So I have a niece that is 19. She just had a baby in November. she agreed to be my bridesmaid when she was pregnant. so considering her and some of my other bridesmaids who may be strapped...
I feel like a bridezilla and that is exactly what I wanted to avoid in this wedding planning process. So I have a niece that is 19. She just had a baby in November. she agreed to be my bridesmaid when she was pregnant. so considering her and some of my other bridesmaids who may be strapped financially I decided to go be cost-effective route for my bridesmaids. I picked out a dress from Amazon for them that is great and it only cost $36. I bought all of their dresses up front in November and just let them know that they needed to pay me the $36 by February 1st. Everyone but my 19 year old niece paid me the $36. she talked to my mother and told my mother, O I need to pay for my dress don't I (this was after the deadline). My mother said well she took the dress back. My niece got upset saying why would she take it back! my mother said you never paid for it nor did you communicate to her when you were going to pay for it. She doesn't have time to babysit you. She replied "well I guess that dress is going to wait". Now I understand people have things going on in their life. Such as her new baby and the problems that she's having with that baby's father. However, she was still getting paid full pay as if she was working and gotten to the point where she was now comfortable that her baby is a little older. she told me she was going to pay for the dress one day and never sent the money. Then the next week when I asked her about it all she said was I forgot. at this point she is two weeks past the deadline of the dress and still has not communicated with me whether she will buy it or need help buying it or anything. She has asked me for money multiple times during this time. But never once brought up the fact if she can pay for the dress later or if she can pay in payments. now the dress is $36 so that's not the problem, the problem is she smokes a lot of marijuana. And she likes to boast about it on her social media as well as boast about how much money she is getting while she is on maternity leave and I feel like if you can do that and smoke so much then you can afford to pay for $36 dress. I also feel if you can ask me for money you can also let me know where you stand with this dress. So needless to say to take the stress off me I dropped her from the wedding party because I just feel that she did not care. Her own sister and mother suggested that I do this. I let her know that she was dropped and the reasons I gave her and again she still acts like she doesn't care. Basically saying it's my fault because I didn't hand hold her about the dress. So I hate that it had to be this way and I feel very bridezilla-ish which is what I was trying to avoid. I am very lenient on my bridesmaids because I want them to be just as comfortable as I am on the day. I am giving them the option of makeup, if they want it they can take it if not they don't have to, I am given them the options of how the wear their hair, I am also giving them the options of what shoes to wear, i just required them to be a certain color. there are so many other things and other dresses I could have picked but I kept them in mind and decided to keep it in the decent price range so they won't have to come out of pocket so much. but now I feel I need to be more strict because I feel I am being taken advantage of. My wedding is 4 months away and I can no longer take any procrastination or any problems. I know this is long but I just wanted to get this off my chest

31 Comments

  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    I hear where you're coming from. I hope everything works out for you.

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  • Marcus & Marlisa
    Devoted June 2021
    Marcus & Marlisa ·
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    Thank you! She got the same communication everyone else got and no one had a problem paying for their dress but her. When I talked to her about it, she kinda brushed it off so to me, she doesn't care and that fine. It's my day and I'm the only one supposed to really care about it but I'm not going to hand hold someone who is capable of communicating. My bridesmaids get new info about stuff all the time and reminders and everyone else is doing just fine but her. Her mother and I even asked her if she needed help and she insisted that she didn't so I took her word for it. But at this point in the planning, I can't babysit anyone so 🤷
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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Right this is your day make the best decison. I deopped a bridemaid as well so i know once you see the nonsense deoppem
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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Drop em***
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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    I dont think it's the 36 dollars this young lady was kicked out for i beleive it was her showinh her the non constantly nor concerns of being in the wedding from the get go. Idk...i see everyone saying she kicked her out for 36 dollars its more then the 36 dollars if this lady done everything else for her
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  • Marcus & Marlisa
    Devoted June 2021
    Marcus & Marlisa ·
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    Exactly! Everyone thinks it's about to about $36 but it's not, it's about the fact that she lacked communication and response. And denied the help as well when it seems she need it. I should've just left the price of the dress out and maybe everyone wouldn't have their panties in a bunch lol
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    She's 19 and just had a baby 4 months ago. Of course she's not being good about communication. She's also your niece. Give her some extra consideration and patience.

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  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi ·
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    I may be in the minority here, but I think you did the right thing for you. If you can't rely on her for something so simple, how can you for something else?

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  • Marcus & Marlisa
    Devoted June 2021
    Marcus & Marlisa ·
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    Thank you! That's exactly the mindset I had. It's not that the dress is $36 and I really want my money back, it's that I have to hound her for the cheapest, simplest part of the wedding. I have too many other important things to focus on and planning must go on so I'm not going to stress about this simple thing. I am to the point where if something is going to cause me too much stress, I'm just going to eliminate the problem.
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  • Shanique
    Dedicated June 2022
    Shanique ·
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    I think you did the right thing, the fact that she is lacking on the communication side shows she doesn't care. I'm sure if she would have communicated with you the outcome would have been different. Your wedding clearly isn't a priority for her.

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  • Christine
    Dedicated June 2021
    Christine ·
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    It sounds like you tried. And as she is 19 and has a new baby and drama, she may not be able to deal right now. I think you did the right thing, letting her off the hook. Sounds like she needs to grow up a little bit and focus on doing Mom things. Doesn't mean you can't still love and support her through what is probably a difficult time.

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