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Just Said Yes April 2020

Dress shopping.... Wedding in general

Cassandra, on August 7, 2019 at 12:55 PM Posted in Planning 0 12

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So I should start with I'm not the type of bride who envisioned her wedding. Having a hard time with getting excited by it all. It's going to cost more than I would like. FH and I have a plan for that. I should also say I live in NJ so expensive 😫. But as for the dress.... I always just thought I would wear my mom's dress. I went to a tailor/seamstress who can do it for a reasonable price (under $600). But finding a person who is willing to clean a 40 year old dress is proving difficult and expensive ($300). So I figured I'd go to look at dresses under $1k since that's what I'd be spending anyway. I went to David's Bridal and tried on a million dresses (my mom, sister and FSIL). I'm 5'0 and some of the dresses just made me look so horribly short and I should mention I'm curvy (36 bust, 31 waist, 44 hips). I just didn't feel like a bride? Idk if I will. I mean everyone keeps asking if I'm excited and not really... I'm so excited about getting married to FH but other than that meh... But I want the first dance and to dance with my dad and party all night long. But the planning part is just meh for me. I see all these people who say they just knew and cried when they put on their dress.... I know I'll cry at the ceremony. But basically what I'm asking is.... Am I the only one? Wants the traditional wedding but isn't having the excitement of planning it? Am I supposed to be head over heels for a dress? Or can I just think I look nice and love aspects of it?

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Cassandra, on August 7, 2019 at 8:40 PM

Expert July 2019
Mary · on August 7, 2019 at 1:05 PM
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I didn't have that crying moment when trying on dresses. My friends and I are all very rational people and our bridal consultant commented on that too. Each dress I tried on we basically listed out what I liked and what I didn't like. I ended up going with the one that I compared all later dresses to. I even went to a second bridal salon to make sure I didn't have any "what-if"s.

If you haven't found a dress that you keep circling back to, I would recommend that you keep looking. Good consultants are very good at pulling dresses based on the specifications that you give them. If you don't find anything in one salon, maybe look in others as well.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 7, 2019 at 1:06 PM
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There's a lot of brides who aren't very into the planning, which is so understandable - it is a lot to do and can get overwhelming. There's also a lot of brides who didn't get "this is the one" feeling when it came to the dress. So what you feel is very valid and normal. I know I didn't get the "this is the one" feeling for my dress either.
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Dedicated October 2019
Andrea · on August 7, 2019 at 1:09 PM
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You are definitely not the only one. Like you, I never envisioned or dreamed of a wedding. In fact, I was never really the type who wanted to get married period. I don't think you have to be head over heels in love with the dress you end up choosing. AS long as you love things about it and are satisfied with your choice, that's all that truly matters. I didn't cry or have any overt display of emotion when I found my dress. I chose it because I loved how it looked and made me smile more than any other dress I tried on. Also, I hate planning this wedding. The only reason I'm having a traditional wedding is because my mom wanted me to have those memories. Otherwise, I would've went to the courthouse. So, you are definitely not the only one who feels that way.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on August 7, 2019 at 1:21 PM
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You are definitely not alone! I didn't cry either over the dress. I just said yup that's the one and was over it.
Planning is annoying, I'll be glad when the day comes, but before then I'm enjoying it as much as I enjoy stubbing my toes.
I feel like doing the ~$900 for restoring the old dress you like is more worthwhile. Especially if you good in it.
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Just Said Yes April 2020
Cassandra · on August 7, 2019 at 1:21 PM
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This is definitely making me feel better. I'm the first one out of my friends who is getting married and everyone in my family got married about 10 years ago so I have no idea what any of them went through. My FH is being so patient with me. And my mom and FSIL are trying to keep me grounded which is so nice. Just nice to know that I'm allowed to not feel the excitement. I am an assistant project manager so to me this is just meetings, lists, schedules and invoices. I know I will cry the day of. I cried when I got engaged but the planning part just seems a bit robotic to me. Like this is what needs to get done, let's get it done and paid for then start the new chapter of our lives.
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VIP September 2019
Yam · on August 7, 2019 at 1:30 PM
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I think being indifferent will actually help you plan your wedding. You won’t make dumb emotional decisions like “Oh we might have to eat ramen for a year but I have to have this dress” Say Yes to the Dress style. That’s good! You’re keeping a level head.
You don’t have to cry over your dress for it to be the one, everyone’s reaction is different. I picked mine out from a photo, didn’t try on dresses at all. Went to the salon and told them I want to buy that dress. As long as you aren’t showing up in a literal potato sack, you’re golden!

You’re excited about the marriage, that’s the important part.
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Devoted November 2020
Kayla · on August 7, 2019 at 2:09 PM
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I guess I didn't truly have "the moment." I knew it was my dress because I had a hard time convincing myself to take it off. And the only reason there were tears is because everyone who went with me had them.
As long as you are excited to marry your FH, I wouldn't worry about being excited for planning- especially since your career is planning.
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Devoted August 2020
Monique · on August 7, 2019 at 6:05 PM
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That's how I feel about dresses as well, I went to try on dresses with my FMIL and my sister and it was a spur of the moment trip bc the store was having a 65% off sale. I was stuck with 2 and honestly, the dress hasn't been that important to me either so I didn't feel the "omg I'm getting married im gonna cry" moment. For me it was more important that the price was under $200 and I felt confident. I enjoy the dress I chose it's very pretty but I didn't cry lol
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on August 7, 2019 at 6:57 PM
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No one cried when I found my dress. My mom and I went to David's Bridal 1st, and we tried on stuff and nothing really wowed me (I'm in NJ and my budget was $1k or under). A week later we went to a small bridal salon with my MOH, MIL, and one of my bridesmaids. The consultant put me in a dress and I just felt beautiful and comfortable and loved the way my body looked in it. My group agreed. We tried on a few more and went back to that one. I ended up taking that same dress home as the sample was in perfect condition and I got it for 50% off. I was pretty similar to you and was like "eh, it's a big party." I researched photographers, we met with 2, and we picked the 1 we liked best, same with DJ, etc. I just methodically planned the wedding 1 step at a time. And yes, there were many moments I would look at our budget sheet and go "why are we doing all this?".

This is all to say that yes, I cried like a baby the whole ceremony and the whole day was amazing. Not being super excited about picking color schemes is ok lol. As long as you're exciting to marry your partner, you're good.
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Just Said Yes April 2020
Cassandra · on August 7, 2019 at 7:19 PM
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Hannah!!! What is the bridal salon in NJ you went to?! I'm in central NJ. I really like the dress I may end up with at David's bridal. But if I have the opportunity to like something for less I'm totally up for it!!

Thanks everyone! I really feel so much better. I was starting to think I was weird for not being excited. Like you all said the fact that I'm super excited to marry FH is really the important part 😊.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on August 7, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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I'm in Central NJ too. I got my dress at Cinderella Bridal.
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