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Cynthia
Dedicated May 2021

Dress shopping first timer

Cynthia, on December 18, 2019 at 8:28 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 1 15
Hello all, getting married October of 2020. Planning to go dress shopping in February. Found out that the bridal shop I'm dieing to go to only allows 3 people to come with you. (Lack of seating). Well I have my MOH and 2 bridesmaids. We've all be friends since 5th grade. Well my parents are paying for my dress and I wanted to bring them with. But at the same time I don't know how to tell my bridesmaids. My MOH jumped in front of me and started saying how we can have a short.girls trip ( we live far from any city/bridal shop) she kept going on about leaving the day before and going out then shop around for 2 days and staying in a Air BNB. And it sounds fun but I really want to include my parents. I told her that and all she said was "well it's your wedding do what.you want" . What do I do? Also what do you wear to your appt? And how many shops should you do? Thanks!

15 Comments

Latest activity by Cynthia, on December 22, 2019 at 4:06 PM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I would bring mom for sure and maybe MOH. You can text the others the pics or video message them in. I would say have your hair decent but no make up as to not stain the dress. Wear something that can easily be taken off like a maxi dress.

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  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
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    I would have your parents there if you want them there - that's not a weird request. And the bridesmaids will probably be fine with pics or video. You really don't want a huge crowd with you - only a handful. Wear nice neutral under things, a strapless bra if you have one, and be prepared for pictures!
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    If you just want your parents there, that's totally fine! Especially since they're paying for the dress. I wouldn't take any of your bridal party to avoid hurt feelings. If it makes you feel any better, none of my BMs or my MOH were able to join me for dress shopping, and it didn't take away from the experience!

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  • Sophie
    Devoted June 2022
    Sophie ·
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    Hi Cynthia! I had this same experience - when I went to book my appointment online, it said the limit was 3 people. However, we went shopping early in the morning when it wasn't crowded and I called the shop to ask if I could bring 3 more people and they said yes! So maybe see if they would be willing to do that (they just brought out some extra chairs for everyone). If not, definitely bring your parents!

    In terms of what to wear, I just wore a comfy outfit with light colored strapless bra and panties that cover your butt (you don't wait the salesperson to see anything! haha!). I recommend going to about 3 shops, but if you find something you love, you'll probably want to cancel the other appointments!

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  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
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    I would honestly go to another shop and bring the whole crew!! Enjoy all the love and support with your peeps right now. You can always circle back to that one with your parents in the future.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I only brought my mom and dad to my dress appointments. I didn't need everyone's opinions. My parents paid for my dress also, and I take their opinions very seriously. So that is who I chose to invite. Once my dress came in from being ordered, my bridesmaids went with me to pick it up, where I tried it on for them and we had the whole wedding dress experience together. I would not have done it any other way.

    Your bridesmaids will be just fine not going to your dress shopping appointment. I think your parents should come first in this situation. Especially since they are the ones paying for it.

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  • Tina
    VIP March 2020
    Tina ·
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    Have you asked your dad if he wants to come? I know for me, my dad wants my dress to be a surprise and he wants to know nothing about it until he sees me in it on the day. Maybe your dad is the same?
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    If you end up buying a dress at a shop you will end up going there at least 2-3x or more (once to pick it out, once when it comes it, and further times for fittings). You could bring one crew for the first visit and take the others at a subsequent visit so everyone can be involved. And you should do what you think will make you the most happy!

    I don't live near a major city and my close girlfriends and family don't live nearby, so I visited the one bridal shop within an hour of us with the wife of one of our two groomsmen. I ended up not getting a dress from the shop and buying one off StillWhite instead. Up until earlier this week, no one had seen it in person, only via photos I sent them. I finally had a couple of my coworkers over and showed it to them a couple days ago. Your dress shopping experience can be whatever you want it to be.

    You can visit as many bridal shops as you want. Definitely set an appointment, as you'll get the best service that way and it will guarantee they have a room for you to try on dresses in and an attendant available who can help you clip the dresses and answer questions. When you set your appointment, you should ask the bridal shop what you should bring with you or wear and they will give you advice. I was told to bring a strapless bra and shoes with a heel height I was comfortable with, but I ended up removing the bra after a few dresses and just trying on the rest braless. If you usually wear shapewear, you should wear or bring some. I never wore the shoes I brought because I didn't end up buying anything. I think the shoes are primarily for if you end up buying something off the rack and want them to pin it for you that day.

    I should point out that some wedding dresses are really difficult to put on without assistance. My friend went in the fitting room with me and was a huge help, but she did see me topless, and even if I had kept my bra on, she would have seen me in my undies. That might be something to consider when you decide who to bring. It's good to have someone who can help you try on the dresses who you feel comfortable enough being semi-naked around. I would avoid relying on a super modest, conservative friend or someone who is judgmental about your body to help you in the fitting room.

    You should DEFINITELY have whoever is with you take photos of you in all the dresses (or at least any dress you don't hate, but outtake photos can be fun too). You may not make a decision right away and it can be helpful to have the photos to reference later. My friend also took a photo of all the dress tags, so I knew the manufacturer, style, color, sample size I tried, price, and any options the dress was available in (for example, some can be ordered with a shorter or longer hem or come in different colors).

    Also I went dress shopping midweek (on a Friday around lunch) and it was so much less crowded than when my friend went for her dress. Standard appointments at the shop were about 90 minutes long but I was there for nearly 2 1/2 hours because there weren't any customers lined up after me and I tried on probably a dozen or more dresses. If you can go at an "off time" you may be able to bring more guests or get extra time and attention. I know it can be difficult to coordinate schedules during the week, but it might be worth it.

    Good luck!

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  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    A little long, but my advice:


    Here goes, long but:


    1) HAVE FUN!!! And go to a few places!


    2) Try on ALL the styles to see what actually does look good on you. And try on white as well as ivory/cream.


    3) Bring the underwear, bra, shape-wear, pantyhose, heels and jewelry options for a high and low neckline you will most likely wear.


    4) Bring snacks: gum, mints, candy, crackers. As well as water, juice or clear soda. Bring any meds you take, even if you don’t think you’ll need them. Aspirin and ibuprofen can be a life saver for you, And your girls/guys!


    5) Bring only the top 3 people. Too many can make it not a fun experience. Remind them they don’t have to be catty/petty, but can give advice & comments.


    6) Go in with Pinterest, magazine or printed out dresses that you like.


    7) What does your closet have more of? Slinky and sexy or full and romantic styles of dresses/gowns? That can always be a good indicator of what you are likely to lean towards.


    8) Remember, and why they do this I have NOOOO idea, the dress they put you in is going to be one to three sizes BIGGER than what you normally wear. And the sample is not going to fit the same, as it’s been handled and tried on, many, times before.


    9) Tell the stylist what the wedding vision is: Church, barn, beach. Winter, summer, indoor or outdoor. Small or large wedding.... That way they can help guide you and your people...


    10) Wear the spray on or clear deodorant and limit perfume/lotion. As well as being the deodorant and feminine pads with you. Light days can double as armpit sweat stoppers.


    11) Wear limited makeup- no lipstick!- so as you don’t get it on the gowns. If you MUST be full faced bring a clear shower cap to hold over your face when they are putting the gowns over you head( I model and that is a trick we use!).. Trust me the stylist will love ya for it!!


    12). Also, remember that the size you wear is going to differ from what they put you in. Meaning if you wear a size 8 they will put you into a 10-12. It can be disheartening to see that larger number, but remember that you are NOT the number, you are the beautiful soul inside that gorgeous gown!!




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  • Cynthia
    Dedicated May 2021
    Cynthia ·
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    Jennifer!! Thank you so much on all the great tips! I feel much more confident going in now! Also so many clever ideas I never thought of.
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  • Cynthia
    Dedicated May 2021
    Cynthia ·
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    You got some really good points. ( Glad someone understands the whole distance thing) thank you so much.
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  • Erin
    VIP September 2023
    Erin ·
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    My mom and my FMIL are the only ones who went with me when I went dress shopping. Even then, I feel like it was too many people xD I really should have gone by myself. My BM and MOH live on the other side of the country, so there were no hurt feelings.

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    So many things I had never thought of... I don't wear makeup or perfume typically, but I love the shower cap trick and will use that in the future for any time I get dressed up.

    Also snacks are definitely a good idea. We forgot those and went around lunch and I was so hungry afterward!

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  • Kayla
    Dedicated November 2020
    Kayla ·
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    Couple things: call the salon first and ask if they can make an exception!! I have a 4 year old sister with separation anxiety and all the salons I went to made an exception and allowed my mom to bring her so she could be there.


    Definitely include your parents- it may be “your wedding” but if your parents are paying, it’s kind of theirs too. I don’t know your situation with your mom, but at least for me, it was super special that she could be there! I have 12 bridesmaids so only 2 ever went with my to my appointments and that was totally fine! I just explained the guest limit rules to everyone and had them decide amongst themselves who would go with me- it all worked out fine!
    I’d recommend wearing comfy clothes, nude underwear/thong and either a strapless bra or no bra. I stripped down to no bra because most dresses have built in support and I’m not planning on wearing a bra on the day! If you know what you want your hair to look like, also try and wear it up or down accordingly. And I’d recommend minimal makeup so as not to stain the dresses!!
    Finally- I’m super picky and I made like 12 appointments! Then I immediately fell in love with the first dress I tried on at the second shop I visited. I think it’s hard to say when you’ll find the one, but when you know you know. I would recommend making 2-3 for now, then going from there depending on if you find your dress at those!!
    Good luck!!
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  • Cynthia
    Dedicated May 2021
    Cynthia ·
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    Kayla thank you so much! I feel tons better. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm so excited but this whole process made me anxious!
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