Dress Shopping fail

You're absolutely not wrong for being upset, but please don't let her guilt you into a dress that you don't love. It was very sweet of you to include her, but she sounds like a very opinionated person (which generally isn't a good fit for helping brides shop for dresses). She has no place telling you what you can and can't spend on a dress when you're the one buying it. Get the dress YOU love, she'll get over it I promise.

You are not wrong for being upset. This is YOUR wedding, not hers. You should absolutely choose the dress you love, and not worry about offending her or making her mad. She will get over it. Don't wear something that you don't like just to make someone else happy.

It’s really sweet you included her.... now enjoy a few shopping trips without her! Buy a dress you love. If she asks, tell her you’re still looking and if she keeps asking say, “I did find one but I want it to be a surprise for everyone!” so she can’t make any comments.

Get a dress YOU love and want to get married in.

No you are not wrong. Pick what you love and just tell her she will love it too.

My daughter said from the very beginning she wanted to pay for her own wedding dress so the decision would be all hers and while she loves her bridesmaids, they do not have her same style, so she only invited myself and her future mother in law.

MiL couldn't make it, but we had a very nice time. She picked her dress, put a downpayment on it and invited her FMiL to see it the next week. Then all week my daughter started worrying FMiL wouldn't like it. (I was actually surprised it mattered to Ms Independent so much) So that morning she did her hair pretty and put on the jewelry she would wear at the wedding. Then I warned her to come out of the dressing room like 'here I am!' and not 'do you like it?'

Didn't matter, MiL loved it and ended up giving great advise on the alterations.

I think too many people are too many opinions. Also, I think some people can get jealous even if they don't realize it. It was sweet of you to include her one time, now go without her and find what you love.

Your big mistake, for the start, was trying to please too many different people. Wanting to be nice, considerate of feelings and opinions of others, especially older relatives, is usually a wonderful personality trait. But sometimes your best intentions backfire. Traditionally, dress shopping has not been done in groups. Maybe one or two friends or family with the bride. Say Yes to the Dress and other TV shows with a great audience have made this shopping with whole bridal party, and relatives ( sometimes both B and G) seem so great, a real trend . . . . . And it starts a lot of brides off in a miserable dilemma . Bridal consultant hate to see such groups, and some stores now ban more than 3 people including the bride, or max 4. People have totally different ideas of how a wedding should look, from country girl white cotton eyelet to ball gown princess to sleek embellished sheath. And different idea on modesty, covered neck to toe vs strapless but modest, vs cut down to there and up to there. You are lucky 2 BM did not come, and the two who did have similar ideas of how you should look. But as you have discovered, G grandma has entirely different opinions, and takes it as a lack of respect for her that you do not abandon your ideas for hers. I and many others here are so sorry for you, and know it must feel like a terrible choice. But you will be wearing the dress. You were polite enough to fairly try each on. A good thing, as some people are surprised and change their ideas. But if you know now that you like certain styles go with what you want and disregard any upset on Grandma's part. Just say you have a different image of yourself, and chose a different dress. You are the one wearing it, and looking at the picture for years and years. It is one thing to make a minor concession, like a little modesty panel where there is too much cleavage, or a lace shoulder covering g, worn in a church and removed for pictures and the reception. Church guidelines. Or Mom and Dad's opinions. But do not give in to the many other opinions in, no matter who it is, and get something you do not want. You will come to hate it. Choose your dress. Not hers. And learn a lesson: throughout planning, do not tell people about details not yet set. And do not open up to other opinions on things you are not flexible about. And unsolicited advice, listen to the spirit of them, not the details. Others may know more about big parties, and what makes people feel comfortable and happy. And that may cause you to modify things. But no, you have to do this, your flowers are ugly these are better, nothing from others who would micromanage every choice to their taste. As long as you treat people well, and remember you cannot tell guests what to wear or do, and have some limits on what family or BM can be asked to do, you are fine. Your WP clothes, your decorations, your timeline, your mode of travel, and the formality of the occasion, for venue and dress and stationery, all belong just to you and the groom to plan. As do the religious or non-religious nature of the ceremony. Practice saying,. " That is very nice, but FI and I made a different choice that we are happy with " . Unsaid: and there is no way we are doing what you suggest. Just over and over, we have decided to do this. Discussion closed. You need not discuss it, or argue it, or justify it with reasons. Let's not discuss something that is not going to be changed.

I would be upset too! I'm sorry you had this bad experience. I would not take FH's grandma to another dress appointment, just your BMs if possible!

I learned people are super opinionated aha and their views are based on their tastes so even if they don't like the dress it won't even matter to them because you'll look so radiant