Dress Shopping Disappointment

I’m so sorry you didn’t find your dress but just know it’s out there waiting for you! I did find my dress at the 1st boutique but it was dress #7. By then I was getting frustrated & anxious that I wasted everyone’s time. Don’t settle for those other dresses that you liked, your dress is out there & it’s going to be something that you love!

Definitely don't look at it as a waste of a Friday! It was a learning experience, and you got some great info: you learned that you definitely don't want a ball gown, and you got some more ideas of specific styles you like, as well as what types of customizations could be done to dresses to make them into something you love (even though it's difficult to visualize ahead of time). It often takes multiple visits to different dress shops to find THE dress (and sometimes the same dress shop but with a different consultant can help too). Also, don't be afraid to tell the consultant your feelings on each dress! Just because they pull a dress for you to try, doesn't mean you have to try it on. If they pull another ball gown, set it aside and tell the consultant that you're not interested in it. If the gowns they are pulling are too far below your budget and you want to try on ones that are closer to your max budget, you could ask them to pull dresses that are a little more expensive (maybe give them a "minimum" cost?). Keep them in the loop on what you like and don't like on each dress, and don't be afraid to ask them to bring a specific style dress for you to try on.

For the anxiety of a big purchase, once I found a dress I thought I wanted to buy, I took a week away from the dress to really think about it, look over pictures, consider budget, etc. I don't like to impulse buy, so by stepping away from all the hype and sales tactics and opinions, and really listened to what my opinion was, I felt confident in my decision.

I hope your dress shopping on Saturday goes well!! Just keep communicating your opinion of each dress and be as specific as possible when discussing what you do/don't like. Keep looking, you'll find your dress somewhere!!

View Quoted Comment

Thanks Michelle! I def. was getting frustrated and anxious during both visits, but hopefully having tried on dresses already will make Saturday go by more smoothly!

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for your reply Lisa! It was a real learning experience for sure. You're right about being honest and upfront with the consultants, I need to do that more with this Saturday visit! Your advice is really helpful, and I'll put it to use when I go shopping again!

I'm sorry you are feeling disappointed. I can assure you you did not waste anyone's time. Choosing your wedding gown is a huge decision. There are several brides that do not "say yes" on their first shopping experience.

I went to a total of 3 stores before I said yes. Granted, I tried on the dress I chose at the 1st and 3rd store , but I wanted to be SURE! My best advice to make your shopping experience easier is to research designers carried at the boutique you are going to. Find your top 5-10 dresses/dress styles that you like from those designers, print them out, and give them to your consultant. I did this at 2 or the 3 stores and I went to and it made my shopping experience great! My consultants even told me it was nice to have so much to work off of. But also, be open to their suggestions.

Shelly, I went to four bridal boutiques and spent HOURS in each before I found my dress... and then, I did it all over again and found a new one. You didn't waste anyone's time by dress shopping! My bridal party and I had a ball just playing dress up and drinking champagne, I'm sure they all had fun being a part of the experience with you! I had the same anxious feeling after my second or third time going, and my consultant assured me that most brides don't find their dress right away.

You'll find your dream dress! Don't worry or stress it too much and try to have fun!

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for your reply Meghan!

I'm trying to not feel guilty, and my friends have told me that it wasn't a waste, but of course the little voice in my head says different lol.

That's was so frustrating with both stores. They both asked me to list what dresses I wanted to try on, styles I liked and everything so they would be prepared. It's like they didn't even look at my lists and what I filled out lol. Unfortunately, this third store doesn't carry designers, they only carry the shop owners designs, so I'll have to just tell them what styles I like and stay true to what I want!

View Quoted Comment

Morgan, thank you for that! My friends assured me they had fun all day and that it wasn't a waste! I'm just a big people pleaser and the fact that I didn't find my dress that day made me feel like I let them down in a way lol.

I'm going to try and have more fun this Saturday though!!

I had similar experiences and it could be discouraging, but it wasn’t a waste of a Friday. It’s part of a beautiful moment that you’ll all remember ♥️. I ended up going to 4 shops. One shop the consultant wasn’t helpful at all. Even when I told her that I didn’t like how I felt in the dresses could she bring something different out she said the dresses looked great on me and didn’t have any others in mind. Another shop, we told the lady we’d go up on budget to see what other options were and brought out similar dresses (which didn’t even make a difference). Then at another shop, a lady brought out form fitted dresses, but think she was trying to get me to buy other items as well cus she had me put on all these undergarments that weren’t meant for a form fitted/low back dress. It was super awkward. It finally took for my last appointment to find a consultant that helped! Every appointment I asked the lady to pick a dress because I couldn’t describe what I was looking for and she was the ONLY one who picked one. It ended up being a dress I wouldn’t want to try on but it was the one!!!! It can be discouraging, but try to have fun trying on dresses and spending that time with those coming with you. You’ll find the one! I also DID NOT cry and I’m an emotional person lol. So if you don’t cry that’s okay too!!! It’s also better to take your time then rush it. I’ve seen soooo many posts on dress regret. Find one that you feel confident and beautiful in! No need to rush it if you don’t find it in first appointment.


Sorry for the novel lol! Best of luck and don’t forget to have fun! Know it can be stressful, but enjoy the time with your loved ones celebrating.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you so much Meghan! I feel like our experiences are a similar lol. I'm trying to stay optimistic, and remind myself that it'll take a little time to find my dress! I just get in my own head and second guess everything, which ruins my mood and the experience, so that's something I'll have to work on.

View Quoted Comment I do the SAME THING! It’s so hard not to when there’s so many different emotions going on and sooooooooooo many options!

View Quoted Comment

It really is haha! It's such a big decision though so in my head I have to have THE perfect dress and the perfect experience to go along with it, which isn't logical lol.

Thanks for the response Emma!

I get what you're saying about taking time to find my dress, which will help with buyers remorse and regret. Only problem with that is that most dresses take 6-8 months to get to you when you order, so I don't want to take too long! I def. have a set price point, and I've been very vocal about it, so thankfully that hasn't been an issue!

I think buying it online without trying it on would be my last option, as well as renting one, but those are still good suggestions! Thank you!

I didn't find my dress at the 1st trip. I think what helped me is I didn't really expect you. I used it as an expiration mission-trying on difference silhouettes and necklines to get a sense of what I liked and what I didn't like. I found a dress that I really like, but decided to hold off. Another weekend, I went to a different store and found THE dress. There were no tears or anything, but I felt beautiful and was able to see myself walking down the aisle to my husband in it. Don't be afraid to tell the consultant what you like, what you don't, and if you feel like you'd like to try something new. You'll find the dress when you find the dress. Try to look at is a fun day trying on fancy gowns and take the pressure off of finding the one.

View Quoted Comment

Hi Hannah, thanks for your response! It's nice to know so many other brides didn't find their dress the first go around, AND that you don't have to cry or be overly emotional to know that it's the one.

I was very vocal about my style at my first two appointments, but wasn't taken seriously I guess? Hopefully the third store will take my style and comments into account!

So I found my dress at my first appointment, first time ever trying on dresses, 3rd dress I tried - and I will say I regret making the decision so soon. Just to offer you some positive light on your situation, I think trying on a good bit of dresses is great because you really really get a feel for what you like and don’t like and what you ultimately want. I got caught up in the “lust” of first trying on my dress and didn’t think about the practicalities, so now 1.5 months away from wedding I’m wishing I would’ve tried more on.


I’m sorry you didn’t have great experiences, and I hope your next ones are better! Your dress is definitely out there and taking some time finding it can actually be a blessing in disguise!

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for this Lindsey, this was really reassuring!

Keep looking and don't give up! If I recall correctly, I found my dress at the 7th bridal salon that I went to. Finding the 'one' at the first place you go to is super rare.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you Hanna! I'll def. keep looking, hoping I find it at the third store this Saturday!

So I only went dress shopping at one boutique, and ended up buying a completely different dress online - one I had never tried on before - on StillWhite. Even though I didn't buy a dress from the boutique, I still thought the experience was a lot of fun AND it was helpful. I was able to learn more about wedding dresses - the fabrics, colors, styles, and design features, as well as what I liked and didn't like. I treated my dress shopping experience as more of "the journey" and less "the destination" and therefore I think it took some pressure off needing to find "the one" and made it more about narrowing down my style.